#Wow final chapter I am a wave of emotions right now

[lunarblue21]

Chapter 24, the last chapter of CI: Lacrimosa, is here and this story, which took me so many years to write, is finally complete! Also, happy 65th birthday to Ray Romano today! In chapter 24, we delve more into how and why exactly Diego managed to miraculously survive in IA1's beautifully emotional ending and also includes expansions of my vignettes one and six in my 'Five Times Manny Hugged Diego' series since they are canon compliant and becos I headcanon that Manny insisted that they stay with Diego until the morning, which also explains why everyone arrives to Glacier Pass just in time to give back Roshan to his father. Also, a big cliffhanger/hook for CI bk 1 is at the end of this chapter!! CI bk 1 is coming in 2023, so I hope all my readers are excited! :)

Here are the links for L24:

FFN

AO3

[ot8xbangchansgirlsblog]

ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕔𝕜🧸

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ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕨𝕠: Why is she here?

Word count: 3832

Summary: In this chapter, Felix anxiously prepares for Y/N, their new pack member, to arrive at their home. Despite Chan’s announcement generating excitement, some pack members, especially Hyunjin and Seungmin, are skeptical. Felix reassures Y/N that the pack is eager to meet her, even though he senses underlying tension. Upon arrival, Y/N is greeted warmly by Minho and Han, which helps ease her anxiety. Felix explains the pack’s bond, which allows them to communicate and sense each other’s emotions. Though apprehensive about the bond, Y/N finds comfort in Felix’s support. During dinner, the atmosphere turns tense when Hyunjin and Seungmin express disapproval of Y/N’s inclusion, leading to a confrontation. Upset and overwhelmed, Y/N has a panic attack. Felix comforts her, helping her calm down and feel more at ease despite the rocky start.

Warning: Angst/comfort, cursing, hate, insecurities,

It had been about 15 minutes when Felix, the only person awake at the moment, noticed that they were approaching the house. His nerves grew as he worried that the boys wouldn't like her. The group chat began to buzz when Chan announced the new member of the pack. As usual, everyone except Han was skeptical about the situation, but they were also buzzing with excitement.

"If you all are sure about it, then I am," Changbin said through the bond for everyone to hear.

"I'm with Changbin. I trust you guys, so if you're so sure about it, then let's see where this takes us," Minho adds to the conversation.

Sometimes, Felix wondered why they even needed to text each other when they had a bond and could communicate through it. However, Chan said that texting was important for their human connection and that they needed to learn social skills, which was a fair point after all. Chan knew best.

"Thank you Mingi," Felix politely said as they stopped in front of the house. He turned to Y/n and gently pushed her hair away from her face, revealing a small beauty mark that resembled Hyunjin's.

"Y/n, we're here," Felix murmured softly, gently shaking her awake. She blinked, taking in the imposing structure of the house before them. The sight of it made her heart race. Was this really happening? Was this grand building about to become her new home? Her mind swirled with worries—what if the pack didn't accept her? What if she made a mistake? What if—

"Hey, stop overthinking," Felix said, trying to sound reassuring. "I'm nervous too, but believe me, they're excited to meet you. I can feel it through the bond." It wasn't entirely true—Felix did sense the excitement the pack was feeling through the bond, but he was also acutely aware of the frustrations and anger simmering beneath the surface, which churned his stomach.

He couldn't ignore the undercurrent of tension from Hyunjin and Seungmin. It hurt to think that two members of the pack, were already shutting her down with such negative feelings toward her when they barely knew. He understood their protective instincts and where they were coming from—they had always been like this ever since... well, ever since he had left. Felix knew that their feelings came from a place of deep loyalty and protectiveness for their home and pack.

"Really?" she asked, a wave of relief washing over her as his reassuring words eased her anxiety. She felt a surge of confidence and was finally able to take a deep breath. "Wow," she murmured, her eyes widening as she took in the grandeur of the building. "You all live here?"

"Yeah, it's amazing, right?" Felix replied with a grin. "Minho-hyung put so much effort into building it. He wanted it to be nestled by the forest, and Chan, being all love-struck, was totally on board. Now we can go hunting, fishing, or just let our wolves roam whenever we want." As they stepped inside, Y/N was greeted by a jumble of shoes at the entrance and a medley of sweet scents that instantly made her omega purr with contentment.

"I'm home!" Felix called out cheerfully as he stepped through the door. "Leave your shoes here," he instructed, and Y/N followed his lead, slipping off her shoes.

"Finally, Lix! Dinner is ready! Go wash up and—oh, hello! Who's your new friend, Lixie?" A strikingly handsome man appeared, his face beaming with a radiant smile. He wore an apron smeared with flour, which made Y/n chuckle.

"Minho-hyung!" Felix groaned in mock exasperation as he tiptoed to wipe the flour off Minho's face. "I told you to act natural, but you're terrible at it." He planted a quick kiss on Minho's lips before turning back to Y/N, who was smiling warmly at the scene.

"Okay, okay, I know," Minho said with a playful roll of his eyes. "But how was I supposed to act natural when you texted the group screaming that you'd found the last soulmate?" He huffed dramatically, still teasing Felix as he continued to fuss with his apron.

"Yeah, I didn't quite think that through..." Felix mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyway, Y/N, this is Minho—or Minnie, or babe, or baby, or—"

"Okay, okay, I think she gets the point, Felix!" Minho interrupted with a groan, ruffling Felix's hair affectionately. He turned to Y/N with a gentle smile, as if she were the most delicate thing in the world. "Hey there," he said softly, "It's really nice to meet you. You're absolutely beautiful."

Y/N blushed deeply, her cheeks turning a soft pink as her omega purred in delight at the warm welcome. "T-thank you, Beta," she responded shyly, her voice trembling with emotion. "It's nice to meet you too, Minho. You smell really nice, and you're so pretty." She gazed up at him through her long lashes, and Minho's heart nearly burst with happiness.

"Thank you," Minho said warmly, his eyes shining. "I made a big meal to welcome you to the pack. Why don't you wash up with Felix and then come join us? I'm sure you're starving." As if on cue, her stomach rumbled, drawn by the tantalizing aroma of the food cooking in the kitchen. She nodded, her face flushing with embarrassment.

"Thank you, it really means a lot," Y/N said, bowing slightly. Before she could straighten up, Felix had already tugged her past Minho and into the living room.

"Oh my God, I need to give you a tour of the house," Felix said with a chuckle, "but first, you might want to brace yourself."

"What do you mean, Felix—" Y/N started, but her question was cut off as Felix suddenly called out, "Han! Guess who's here!"

Confused, Y/N barely had time to react before she heard rapid footsteps descending the stairs, accompanied by a fresh, fruity scent—cherries and sweet lemon.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!" chanted a brown-haired boy as he flew down the stairs, nearly tripping over himself. Without hesitation, he leaped into Y/N's arms, snuggling against her as if she were his long-lost friend. "I'm here!" he cheered, burrowing into her embrace like an exuberant puppy. Y/N giggled, trying to keep her balance as she held the enthusiastic boy.

His large, brown eyes and round cheeks made her coo at his cuteness, reminiscent of a fluffy squirrel. He pulled back slightly to touch her face. "So pretty," he whispered in awe.

"Told you," Felix said with a grin, watching the scene unfold. Han then threw his arms around Felix in a tight hug, showering his face with kisses. "Felix, you did it! You found the last piece! She's so... SHE'S SO..."

"Breathtaking!" a deep voice boomed from the corner. Everyone turned to see a muscular, imposing figure stepping into the room, his presence commanding immediate attention.

"Binnie! Hey! Come say hi to Y/N!" Felix called, waving enthusiastically. Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the strong scent of mint and rainy forest emanating from the approaching figure. An alpha. Though she wasn't terrified, she couldn't shake off the lingering trauma from her past. Her instincts made her take a hesitant step back behind Felix, causing a flash of hurt to cross Felix's face.

"Hey, he won't hurt you," Felix said softly, his voice tinged with concern. "This is Changbin, remember? I told you about him. I know alphas can be intimidating, but I promise you he's really nice. I'll be right here with you." He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Y/N nodded slowly, forcing a smile as she extended a hand towards Changbin. "H-hey, Binnie. It's nice to meet you," she said quietly.

Changbin's face lit up with a relieved smile as he took her hand gently and kissed it. "Hey there, little one. It's nice to meet you too. Welcome to the pack. I hope my scent doesn't trouble you," he said softly.

"No, it won't," Y/N replied, tracing her fingers over the spot he had kissed. "I just need some time to get used to it, Changbin. But judging by how my omega is reacting, she really likes you." She looked into his eyes earnestly. "Please be patient with me?"

"Of course, love. Just know that you're one of us now, and no alpha will ever lay a hand on you," Changbin said, his hand gently resting on her chin as he rubbed his thumb across her cheeks, which were now flushed with a rosy hue.

"Ugh, seriously?" Minho's voice came from the kitchen door, dripping with mock disgust. "There are people around! And didn't I tell you two to wash up? Dinner's going to get cold!" The boys groaned in unison as Felix quickly pulled Y/N away, leading her up the stairs.

"Sorry about that," Felix said, a bit flustered as he led her through a maze of corridors. "They get a little clingy when they meet new people."

"It's okay," Y/N reassured him with a small smile. "They seem really nice. Where are the rest?"

Felix stopped in front of a door painted blue with his name on it. "Just a sec. I'll check with I.N." Instead of pulling out a phone or walking to I.N's room, Felix closed his eyes, focusing intently. After a moment, he exhaled and said, "He's in the downstairs gym but he'll be up soon."

Y/N looked at him, intrigued. "How did you...?"

Right..she didn't know about the telepathy. "We can communicate through the bond," Felix explained as he sat down on the bed, removing his sweater. "Have you heard of it?"

"Bond? No, I don't know what that is," she admitted, shaking her head.

"Well," Felix patted the bed beside him, inviting her to sit, "when we became a pack, Channie hyung taught us how to use the bond. It's a way we can communicate and feel each other's emotions. We can even see what someone else is seeing sometimes. It's a bit complicated and might seem strange at first, especially when he marks you. It's a bit embarrassing because we can see, hear, and feel everything you do."

As Felix spoke, Y/N's eyes widened in apprehension. "That sounds... intense."

"Yeah, it can be overwhelming at first," Felix said with a comforting smile. "But you'll get used to it. And remember, it's all about being connected and supporting each other."

"Don't worry, it's not scary at all," Felix said, waving his hands as if to reassure her. He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, making her blink in surprise. The warmth of the gesture was comforting, and despite her initial shock, she couldn't help but feel a flutter inside. After all, he was undeniably attractive. "Would you like to shower first?" he asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from the more overwhelming aspects of their pack's secrets. Felix knew Chan could explain things in a way that would be less daunting for her. After all, he'd once been the new omega himself.

"Yes, please. But I don't have any clothes," she said, glancing down at her old maid's outfit with a frown.

"No problem," Felix said with an encouraging smile. He reached into his wardrobe and pulled out a towel. "I can get you one of my pajamas. Just go ahead." He gently nudged her toward the bathroom, then turned on the water for her. "This is how you turn on the cold water, and this is how you turn on the hot water," he explained, guiding her step by step. She nodded, memorizing each instruction as she absorbed the information.

"Um, Felix?" she said softly, her voice carrying a note of uncertainty.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for everything, really. You're such an angel. I don't know how I could ever repay you," she said, her gaze dropping to the floor as she thought about her uncertain future—probably facing starvation in a dungeon somewhere.

"You don't have to thank me, my love. That's what soulmates are for," Felix said, nuzzling her cheek gently. His touch elicited a soft purr and a contented whine from her omega. "But I do have one request," he added shyly.

""What is it? I'm open to anything," she said quickly, snapping out of her trance and looking up at him.

"C—can you remove your patches?" Felix asked, his voice tinged with frustration. "My omega keeps whining because we can't smell you." His annoyance was directed more at his own omega's insistence than at her. Her eyes widened, and she instinctively placed her hands on her glands, a look of embarrassment crossing her face.

"I—Felix, I wish I could, but... my scent is rotting right now—"

"What? Why?" Felix's concern was evident as he interrupted, his face falling as realization dawned on him. "That only happens when you're... oh." His whisper was filled with regret.

"Yeah," she said softly. "But I promise I'll remove them once I'm feeling better. Please?"

"Of course," Felix said, his voice softening. "I'll get more patches for you." He quickly left the room, and Y/n let out a sigh of relief as she closed the door behind him.

She stepped into the shower, finally peeling off the itchy patches. The hot water felt soothing against her skin, easing some of her tension. As she let the water cascade over her, she traced her fingers over the bruises covering her body—old and new, a mix of purples, blues, and yellows. She winced as her fingers brushed against one particularly sore spot, her mind drifting back to the moment she'd sustained it. The pain was a stark reminder of the trials she'd endured

🍄🌻🥞🌿

"Here you go," Felix said softly, handing her a box of patches and a steaming cup of tea. "This should help with the um... subdrop. Minho works with medicine and he said it might clear up the rotting scent, though it won't do much for how you're feeling," he explained delicately. "I hope it's okay that I told him..."

"It's okay, Lixie. Thank you." She accepted the tea gratefully, taking a soothing sip as Felix slipped into his pajamas. He then gently began braiding her hair, his touch light and comforting. "I.N is here," he whispered, just as a knock resonated through the room. Felix's face lit up with a smile as he opened the door, only to be enveloped in a warm hug. The alpha then placed a tender kiss on Felix's lips before stepping into the room, his grin bright and welcoming.

"Y/n, this is Innie," Felix said, his voice filled with affection. "He's the youngest alpha and the youngest of the pack. He's really sweet." Felix ruffled Innie's hair playfully before settling back down beside Y/n, who offered a shy wave.

"It's nice to meet you, Alpha," she said, bowing slightly as she took in his scent of chocolate and peppermint, which filled the room with a comforting aroma.

"Ah, I see," Innie cooed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "So, they were calling you two the 'sunshine twins.'" He smiled warmly at them both.

"Innie! Stop it," Felix whined, his cheeks flushing a deep red as he covered his face.

"Yah! Stop being so cute!" Innie teased, his voice filled with warmth. "It's so nice to meet you, Y/n. Let's head downstairs to eat before Minho goes mad. Chan just got back from the company. Come on," he said, extending his hand.

Y/n glanced at Felix for reassurance, who nodded encouragingly. She took Innie's hand and then reached for Felix's, the three of them making their way downstairs together. They entered the dining area where all eight packmates were seated, patiently waiting. Y/n offered a quick bow and a wave before sitting next to Felix, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement as she joined her new packmates for the meal.

"So, Y/n, I trust you've met everyone?" Chan's voice filled the room, drawing everyone's attention to her. She looked around and replied, "No, Alpha. I've met 6 out of the 8."

The room was rich with various scents, each contributing to an overall feeling of safety and sweetness, though there was a faint, sour note in the mix.

"She's really sweet, Hyung. She got along just fine with I.N and Changbin," Felix said, his pride evident as he spoke. Chan nodded in approval before taking another bite of his meal.

"That's good to hear. If you need anything, Y/n, don't hesitate to let me know or just talk to Felix or Han," Chan offered her a polite smile. "I'd like to have a chat with you after dinner, if that's alright."

"I'm perfectly okay with that, Oppa," she replied quickly, eager to show her willingness to integrate.

"Alright, enough talk. Welcome to the pack, little one!" Leeknow exclaimed, giving her a friendly ruffle of her hair and adding more meat to her plate. The room erupted in cheerful applause, but Y/n couldn't help noticing the two betas sitting together, casting her sharp, disapproving glances.

One started to speak up but whas quickly shut down by Chan. "Hyung, are you sure—"

"Not now, Hyunjin. Don't ruin the night," Chan cut off the blonde boy, who was seated next to him. Y/N hadn't met either of them yet, nor the other guy with brown hair and blonde streaks. She could tell they were betas and, judging by their expressions, they weren't thrilled about her presence.

Her ears twitched as she overheard snippets of the conversation, but her attention was soon captured by Han, who cheerfully linked their hands together, offering her a warm smile.

"We should go shopping tomorrow, Y/nnie!" Han exclaimed, running his fingers through her long hair with a bright smile. "Felix and I will take you."

"That's exactly what I was thinking, Han!" Felix chimed in enthusiastically from beside her. "Great minds think alike," he added with a boastful grin.

"I—I would love that, but I don't have any money," she hesitated, feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Don't worry about that!" Han waved off her concern with a playful flick of his hand. "That's why we have Chan and Changbin's credit cards. We never go broke. So stop pouting!"

Despite Han's cheerful reassurance, Y/n couldn't shake off the pang of guilt. "I couldn't— I mean, you guys have already welcomed me into your home. I honestly couldn't impose."

"Y/n, you're part of the pack now," Han insisted with a grin. "You don't have a choice. Let us love you and treat you right! Pretty pleaseee?"

"They won't stop until you say yes," Changbin added with a chuckle, startling Y/n as she hadn't realized he was listening. His presence was subtle but his voice carried well, especially against Han's enthusiastic chatter. "So just agree."

"Fine, we can go shopping, Han—"

"And also get nesting supplies—"

"And room decor," Felix interjected with a wink.

Y/n couldn't help but smile at their excitement, feeling a bit overwhelmed but also touched by their eagerness to include her.

"Yeah, you're right," Han continued, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "We can also get her hair and nails done—"

Y/n glanced back and forth between Han and Felix as they eagerly planned out the next day. She couldn't help but smile at their enthusiasm and care, touched by their efforts to make her feel at home. Her gaze drifted back to her plate, but her attention was soon drawn when her name was called from the other end of the table.

"Yes, Oppa?" she responded, looking up at Leeknow.

"I need to know your dietary requirements so I don't accidentally cook something that might make you sick," Leeknow said with a friendly smile.

"Oh, Hyung! You didn't ask us for our dietary requirements," I.N whined from his seat across the table.

"Yeah, well, that's because I don't need to worry about you lot," Leeknow retorted with a snicker. "You guys eat like a small army!"

"Meanie," I.N muttered, giving Leeknow a mock glare.

The sudden loud thump of Hyunjins's fist hitting the table made Y/N flinch. Instinctively, she nuzzled into Felix, seeking comfort from the commotion. Felix wrapped an arm around her, offering a reassuring squeeze as he gave her a warm, comforting smile.

"Hyunjin, don't—"

"No, Chan! You're acting like she's the Luna or something. She's messing up our dynamics!" Hyunjin's voice was sharp, cutting through the room. Every eye turned to him in shock, except for the beta, who merely looked bored.

"You didn't even consult us about adding someone new to the pack," Hyunjin continued, his frustration palpable.

"Hyunjin, stop it! We were always meant to be nine, not eight," Changbin growled, his scent growing increasingly sour. Felix's grip on Y/n tightened, his own scent turning bitter.

"Did you really have to do this in front of her?" Leeknow's voice was a low hiss, his irritation evident.

"He's right, Hyung. You can't just expect us to accept a random, lawless omega—"

"Seungmin, that's harsh! Why would you say something like that?" Han's voice rose in defense, standing up to protect Y/n.

"I-I can leave," Y/n whispered, barely audible. Tears welled up in her eyes as she choked on her words, her heart sinking. She had feared this moment, and now it felt like her worst fears were coming true.

"Felix, take Y/n to the living room. I'll be there in a minute," Chan ordered, his tone icy as he glared at the two betas who had soured the evening.

Without another word, Felix lifted Y/n from her seat and carried her down the hall. As they left, the last thing she heard was Hyunjin's bitter remark: "You're trusting someone we don't even know with Felix? That's absolute bullshit."

They entered a large room with dim lighting, cozy couches, and blankets scattered around. A massive flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall, and a bar was set up in the corner. Her knees gave out, and she sank onto a couch, curling up into herself. Quiet sniffles escaped her as she struggled to hold back her tears, overwhelmed by the sharp sting of rejection.

"Hey... it's okay. No need to cry. I'm sorry—"

"Please don't..." Y/n whispered, her voice barely more than a breath. Her fingers trembled as she picked at the frayed edges of her hoodie, her panic escalating into a storm that churned in her chest. Every breath felt shallow and tight, her heartbeat a frantic drum in her ears. The room seemed to close in around her, a suffocating presence of her fears and insecurities. She felt an overwhelming wave of shame and self-loathing crash over her, thoughts spiraling in a dark vortex of self-doubt. No one would want a ruined omega. They were dirty, used, and unworthy—

"Breathe, Y/n. Breathe for me, please. You're panicking," Felix's voice cut through the storm. His eyes, full of concern, locked onto hers, grounding her in the chaos. "You don't have to talk, but you need to try and calm down, okay?"

She turned away, her breathing ragged and uneven, but his hands gently guided her into a hug. The warmth of his embrace enveloped her, his scent—a soothing blend of cedar and honey—washing over her in waves. "I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you. Not while I'm here. Those two are just being pricks. I promise, we all want you here..."

As Felix's scent enveloped her, her frantic thoughts began to blur, the edge of her anxiety softening. Her body felt like it was melting into his embrace, every tense muscle loosening under his tender care. "There we go... nice and easy," he whispered, his voice a soft, reassuring murmur. He continued to coo softly, his gentle presence a balm to her frayed nerves, slowly pulling her back from the precipice of her panic.

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Taglist: @ihrtlix @bowsnbang @katsukis1wife @thegingerthatwaited (open)

[kelcemenow]

Birthday Suit - Chapter 3.

Pairing Travis Kelce x Reader

Words 1616

Warnings Lots of fluff and some strong language.

So, this was supposed to be the final chapter but I'm enjoying this request so much, there will be one more after this! “Request!!!!! Travis and the reader meet on a club in Vegas they immediately hit it off, as the night continues the enjoy the Vegas strip having fun and once they get to his room travis really shows the reader how much he adores her. Fluff / smut”

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

Your bare shoulders stung in the cool evening air as you bounded out of the casino, clutching at your stomach laughing.

""Woooh" Travis yelled, his fists raised high.

"But isn't the point of going to the casino to win money?" You giggled, "You lost!"

Travis shrugged his shoulders, "Who cares? We had fun, right?"

"You seem pretty relaxed for a guy who just lost $2000."

Travis raised his eyebrows, "Alright, alright, where next?"

Your hands ran along the top of your arms in an attempt to cover them from the cold. Travis noticed and immediately began removing his jacket.

"Here." He said as he draped it over your shoulder.

"Woah, hold up big guy. Is this not a bit too...emotional and romantic?"

His eyes sparkled with the city lights, "Maybe. Look, I know this whole thing was my idea but it's killing me. I think you're awesome, and what's crazy is, I don't even know anything about you."

You leaned slightly closer to him as you walked, "I know. I could be a murderer or something?"

"I'm prepared to take that risk."

You stomach fluttered and there was a comfortable silence, the only sound being your footsteps on the pavement and the sounds of the city.

Suddenly, Travis stopped and turned to you, "Okay. How about we play 20 questions?"

"Is that your idea of getting to know someone?"

"Is that your first question?"

You lowered your head and laughed under your breath.

Travis ghosted his hand over yours for a moment before gently intertwining his fingers with yours, "Come on, it'll be fun."

You looked up at him and exhaled, "Alright, let's do it."

Travis began walking, "Okay, what's your biggest fear?"

"Wow, we're getting straight in with the heavy stuff? Okay." Your skin tingled when you realised he was still holding your hand, "I'd say failure. I have a pretty serious job and I can't drop the ball, like, ever. It's a lot of pressure, but I suppose I thrive on that. I like those moments of all or nothing, you know, the difference between win or lose. But the feeling of the loss is not something I like to feel often. So, I put my all into my career, it comes first for me most of the time. I suppose that's why I never seem to have a stable relationship. No offence, but most guys can't handle it."

Travis smirked and looked down at his feet.

"What?"

He snickered slightly, "No, nothing. Your question."

"If you could have one super-power, what would it be?"

"Oh easy. Either teleportation or super speed."

You playfully nudged his arm, "I said one! You can't have two, that's just greedy!"

"Alright, okay." He paused as he thought for a moment, "I'd have super speed. It would come in really handy."

"Handy with what?" You looked up at him.

Travis held out a finger and waved it in front of your face, "Ah ah, it's my question now. Favourite vacation spot?"

You rolled your eyes and pursed your lips together in thought, "I don't get to go on vacation often, but I went to Bali after college, and it was so beautiful. I've always wanted to go back, as an adult, you know, and appreciate it properly."

Travis nodded, "Okay, yeah. I get it. Good answer." He tightened his grip slightly, "Next question?"

You took a deep breath of evening air, "Why were you so determined to get my on my own tonight when you had dozens of girls crowding around you?"

Travis smiled wide, "Because you were so intriguing. You weren't pawing at me because of who I am or what I do. You genuinely seemed interested, and I like that. You were just out there, having a good time, dancing with your friends and honestly, I can't deal with girls who are only after me because of the fame. I like real connections, you seem real to me. Straight-up, you know?" He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you in closer, his lips next to your ear, "And to top it off, you are so beautiful."

Your lips crept into a smile as you walked but you slowed down a little when his words repeated themselves in your head. Your eyebrows lowered in confusion, "Wait, what do you mean because of 'who you are'...what does fame have to do with it."

Travis pulled at your arm, "My question next. Favourite sex position."

Your mouth flew open with a laugh, "Wow, okay. We're going there? Alright, it sounds boring but I like the classics. Missionary is up there at the top for me. I like eye and body contact during sex." You stopped walking and turned to face him, "You know, the feeling of our bodies pressed together, my thighs wrapped around your waist, your mouth on my neck." As you spoke, you got closer to him, lowering your voice into a whisper, "Staring into each others eyes, deep and long kisses, dragging my nails down your back."

You stopped, only inches away from Travis' face as you watched his eyes glaze over and his lips quiver.

He cleared his throat and blinked a couple of times as he opened his mouth to speak, "Uh-"

You quickly turned and took a few steps away from him, "Or bent over with my ass in the air is pretty good too."

Travis' jaw dropped open, "Oh come on, girl. Don't tease me like that!" He jogged to catch up with you, hugging his arms around your waist from behind.

"My question now!" You said happily, "Okay, I gotta know. Who are you? You keep dropping hints about fame and the fact that you had people surrounding you in the club, I don't get it! Who are you?"

Travis chuckled, "So, my name is Travis Kelce." He paused for a reaction but continued when your face didn't change, "And I'm a Tight End for the Kansas City Chiefs."

You turned and stared at him, wide eyed, "I'm really sorry but you just said a lot of things that I don't understand."

He laughed again, "I play football, I'm a football player."

"Oh! Right, yeah. I get it now." You jumped a little as your voice raised, "Wow, okay. That's pretty big."

Travis rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah to be honest, people usually know who I am."

"Yeah, sorry about that! I'm not a big football watcher, I never have time!"

Travis swung his arm around your shoulder, "I like that. Really, it's kinda nice. It's...refreshing." His mouth moved into a smile. "When you said earlier about people expecting a lot from you, experiencing a lot of pressure and not liking to lose...I was laughing because that's exactly how I feel."

Your eyes creased into a smile, "So, you totally get it, then?"

He nodded, "What is it you do?"

You looked up at him, "Is that your next question?"

He narrowed his eyes a little, "Yes."

"I'm a lawyer."

Travis stepped back slightly, "Oh, shit."

"Let me guess, that's scared you off?"

He stroked his beard, pretending to be in deep thought, "This is some serious information. This means I'll never win an argument."

You laughed and grabbed his arms and pulled him back to his previous position, his head resting on your shoulder, "That's right! Okay, my turn. What do you look for in a woman?"

You felt his cheeks move into a smile against your own, "I find ambition very attractive. I love it when a woman knows what she wants, and works hard to get it. I don't know, there's just something so sexy about an independent woman with her shit together. But I don't want someone who takes themselves too seriously, you know? I'm a bit of a class clown so someone who I can laugh with is important."

You felt him tighten his grip and you almost felt yourself melt into his arms. Quickly, you spun in his arms so you were facing him.

"Eyes are a bit of a weak spot for me. If you got a good set of eyes on you, oh baby."

Giggling, you fluttered your eyelashes at him.

Travis bit down on his bottom lip and looked away from you, "Don't man, I'll be a mess."

You stopped walking and moved closer to him, your bodies almost touching, "It's your turn next. What's your next question?"

Travis took a slow breath in and his gaze flickered to your mouth, "I think I know enough."

"Enough for what?"

"For this."

Travis slowly moved in even closer, his eyes fixed on you. Your breath hitched as his lips connected with yours, an intense heat rising in your chest. Your eyes flickered shut and you tilted your head to the side, deepening the kiss. As your hands moved up his body, you teased his tongue with your own, dragging it along his bottom lip. His large hands took hold of your ass, giving it a gentle squeeze as you pushed your body against his. Travis groaned and the vibration on your mouth sent waves down your body. You swore you could feel something pressing against your hip and once you grazed against it, Travis' gentle moan confirmed for you. He quickly moved his kisses down to your neck, smiling against your skin when you threw your head back and gasped. Your hands found themselves at his head, dragging your nails along his buzzed hair. When he pulled away, his glazed eyes blinked in front of you.

"I think I have one more question." His voice was deep and gruff, "Will you come back to my hotel room with me?"

______________________________________________________________

I love flirty Travis! The next chapter will be the final one, where all the smut happens so if you want to be added to my taglist, just let me know!

Taglist @kkrenae @keiva1000

[q-gorgeous]

Broken Dashed Ladybug Chapter 4

ao3

fanfiction

hehehehe

Danny bent over, out of breath. 

Why was gym class a thing? It was cruel and unusual punishment. Pure torture. 

Sam barked out a laugh as she ran up behind him. “Come on, Danny. This is my fourth time lapping you.”

“Just because you have some super human abilities doesn’t mean I do. How are you so fit?”

Sam chuckled. “I don’t spend every waking moment playing video games in my room.”

Danny stood up straight and started jogging again. “I don’t spend all my time playing video games. I do… other things.”

Nothing he could tell Sam about anyways.

Sam snorted. “Gross.”

“No!” Danny shouted. “You’re gross, Sam! You’re the gross one!”

“But you’re not fooling anyone.” Sam ran ahead of him and turned to face him so that she was running backwards. “Jazz says all she hears you doing is playing on your computer. All she hears you listen to is the Doomed soundtrack.”

“It’s a good soundtrack.” Danny was glad that the music tricked Jazz into believing he was in his room when he was really out doing patrol. 

“How come you never invite me to play anymore if you’re on all the time anyways?” Sam shot him a small smile. “I can't even remember the time we-“

Something flickered in Sam’s eyes and she suddenly stopped running.

“I gotta go. I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“What?” Danny followed after her a couple steps but then she broke into a jog. “Are you okay?”

She waved a hand over her shoulder as she left but didn’t say anything to him. Danny just watched her go. 

Suddenly someone was shoulder checking him. Danny hissed and glared at them, rubbing his shoulder. 

It was Dash. 

“What, did your girlfriend finally get sick of you?” Dash sneered at him, jogging in place as he taunted Danny. 

Danny scowled. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“What, is the loser brigade finally breaking up now that Foley isn’t here to hold it together?”

Danny ground his teeth together, his hands forming into fists and he glared at Dash.

“I don’t know what your problem is, would you just stop talking about-”

Danny stopped talking when he heard maniacal laughter coming from the air above them. He looked up and saw someone jumping through the air towards them. 

Danny’s eyes widened. An akuma.

Dash took a step back and looked around as their classmates started running away.

“Ah! What have we here? These are some tasty emotions, that’s for sure!” 

The akuma landed on the ground in front of Danny and Dash. She was big. Her body looked as if it was made of shadows, or fire pulled from the void. Her eyes glowed red and her smile was manic. 

“Your grief is palpable. How is it that you haven’t succumbed to our Empress’s akumas yet? Your emotions are so powerful!” 

“Who are you?” Danny asks. 

“I am Spectra!” She shouted, flourishing an arm through the air. “I live to make others miserable and to steal their beauty and youth! And you seem to be an excellent meal.”

She moved to dive towards him but he jumped out of the way just before she landed on the ground where he was just standing. 

Dash made a move to run away but tripped over a rock in the grass and fell to the ground. 

“Wow, look at you. Afraid to be in a situation where you are no longer strong enough to defend yourself?”

Dash scrambled across the ground, backing away from the akuma. 

While her back was turned, Danny ran off into a grouping of trees near the edge of the school grounds. 

He transformed and when he swung over to where they were, he saw that the akuma had picked Dash up and held him inside one of her giant hands. 

“Let him go!” Danny shouted at her. He pulled his yoyo out and started twirling it. 

“Ah, the famous Ladybug! We finally meet!” 

“I need you to let go of the civilian.” 

She stared at him, a calculating expression on her face before she smiled a too wide smile at Danny as she gripped Dash in her pointy hands. 

“You don’t like this boy do you? I can smell the hatred coming off of you.” 

Danny pointedly kept his gaze off of Dash. He couldn’t let her get anything on him. Couldn’t let her in on how close she was getting. Or let Dash catch on. 

“What is it about him?” She grabbed Dash by the face and twisted his head to face her. “Is he a little too pretty? Is he popular? Is he everything you aren’t?” 

“Put him down.” Danny said as he stared at her, yoyo still twirling in his hand. She barked out a laugh at that.

“Why would I put him down? The emotions coming out of your hatred for him are delicious!” She licked her lips and then turned to look at Dash. “But there’s not much of anything coming off of him. He doesn’t seem to hate the famous Ladybug. What could this superhero have against an ordinary civilian, hmm?” 

Dash’s gaze shifted to land on Danny, studying him. 

“Ah there it is!” Spectra exclaimed. “That little bit of fear. Why are you so afraid of your hero hating you?”

“I’m not.” Dash said quietly.

“Oh? Are you sure? Your emotions don’t lie. You can’t hide it from me, no matter how hard you try to hide it from him.”

Danny ground his teeth together and looped his yoyo around a street light and pulled himself into the air. He swung around and kicked Spectra in the stomach, causing her to drop Dash. Once he hit the ground he pushed himself back up and started sprinting towards the school. 

She hissed and turned her head as she watched Dash run away and Danny saw a lone earring on the other side of her face that he didn’t notice until now. 

Spectra made to chase after him but Danny looped his yoyo around her waist.

“Now come on, are you trying to play with your food?”

She turned to look at Danny, another maniacal smile on her face. “Forget him. Your emotions are much more filling. More delicious. More complex.” 

“You’re a terrible flirt.” 

Danny looked up just in time to see Chat Noir hitting Spectra in the back of the head with his baton.

“If that’s her idea of flirting, I can see why she wants to make everyone else miserable.” Danny said to Chat Noir when he jumped down beside him. 

“I do have to admit though, you do look pretty delicious.” Chat Noir sent him a smirk and Danny blushed.

Spectra chuckled and they both looked back at her. “Chat Noir is afraid of his partner secretly hating him. Oh, that too is delicious.”

Danny shot another glance at Chat Noir. He was staring up at Spectra with wide eyes. 

“I think the akuma is in the earring she’s wearing.” Danny whispered. “She only has one.”

Chat Noir shook his head. “Right. Any plans so far?”

“No, but-”

Spectra was bringing down a hand over them and Danny jumped to push Chat Noir out of the way. 

“Why would Chat Noir be afraid of Ladybug hating him? Where did he get that inclination from? I wonder.” 

Danny stood up and threw his yoyo into the sky. 

“Lucky charm!” 

A polka dotted tennis racket fell into his hands. The wires in the center were broken.

“Maybe Chat Noir has run into Ladybug as his civilian self and had a sour encounter. Maybe Chat Noir is keeping secrets from his trusted partner.”

Danny tuned her out as he looked around for a way to use the lucky charm. 

“Maybe Chat Noir doesn’t really think he’s a hero at all. He’s losing everything and taking it out on others.”

Danny’s eyes widened. He’s got it.

“Chat Noir!” He shouted. “Be ready!” 

Chat Noir nodded at Danny before they both jumped in opposite directions. 

“Chat Noir fears losing the one he loves.”

Danny swung around behind Spectra who had her attention on Dash. Danny waited and watched, waiting for the right moment to jump.

“He’s worried about not meeting Ladybug’s expectations. What will he do if Chat Noir isn’t who Ladybug wants him to be?”

“Now!” 

He jumped at Spectra from behind, who turned to face him, giving him the perfect angle to bring the broken tennis racket down and around her earring. He pulled it off and flung it in Chat Noir’s direction.

“No!” Spectra yelled as Chat Noir caught the large earring in his hands.

“Cataclysm!” 

The earring turned to dust and fell to the ground. A purple butterfly gently rose into the air. Danny caught it before it could get far. 

“Gotcha.” 

He released the butterfly and picked the tennis racket back up.

“Miraculous Ladybug!” 

Once the ladybugs fixed everything and he saw that Spectra was back to her normal self, Danny jumped away. He could hear Chat Noir following after him.

They landed on the roof together and Danny turned to look at him. He looked a little distraught.

“Hey, are you okay?” 

Chat Noir looked at him, a searching look in his face. 

“Yeah, I’m- I’m.. fine.”

“Oh. Okay.” Danny turned to jump away as his earrings beeped. “I gotta-”

“You would never hate me, would you?”

Danny’s head shot up and he turned to look at Chat Noir again. “What? Of course not.” 

Chat Noir smiled at him sadly and jumped away. 

Why would Chat Noir be so afraid of Danny hating him? Spectra was just trying to get under their skin. Yeah, maybe there’d be some worry with their secret identities. They didn’t really know who the other was. That had to be it. 

Danny jumped in the opposite direction and swung towards the school. After traveling a couple blocks, he dropped down into an alley and transformed just after he hit the ground. 

Danny didn’t know what time it was, but he knew he needed to get back to school before he missed even more of it. 

He ran out of the alley and was looking down when he ran straight into someone else. 

Danny bounced off their chest and took a step back. When he looked up he saw that it was Dash Baxter standing in front of him. 

“Watch it-.” Dash shoved Danny away from him and furrowed his brows. “Fenton? How did you get all the way out here?”

“You watch it, Dash.” Danny brushed himself off. “What does it matter what I’m doing? Too worried about someone catching you skipping class again?”

Dash scoffed. “Like you’re one to talk. You’re literally skipping class right now. You skip class almost as much as I do. Maybe even more.” 

“How would you know? You’re not even there.” Danny stared up at Dash challengingly. Dash frowned down at him. 

“What’s it matter to you?” 

Danny shrugged. “I just wonder what it is you get up to. What’s so important to Dash Baxter that he’d risk his place on the football team for it? Oh wait, he already lost his spot.”

Dash slowly stalked up to Danny and bent down so their faces were level. He grabbed the front of Danny’s shirt and yanked him up. 

“Listen here, you little shit.” Dash hissed into Danny’s face. “I’m losing everything due to my responsibilities. You don’t know what I’m going through. What it’s like not meeting the expectations of those closest to you. I’m not what they want me to be. So stop pulling my whiskers, you flea.”

Dash threw Danny away from him again.

Danny’s stomach dropped as he looked up at Dash.

No.. It couldn’t be. It had to be a coincidence. That wasn’t him that Spectra said those things to. It was-

Danny took a sharp breath. 

Chat Noir. 

Dash was Cat Noir? His partner? His best friend? 

The one he was falling in love with? 

He saw Dash frown at him and he reached forward to wave his hand in front of Danny’s face. His mouth was moving but Danny couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in his ears. 

Dash reached towards Danny but then took a step back as he looked over Danny’s shoulder. Dash’s eyes widened as his gaze landed on Danny’s ear and he could feel something slipping into his necklace. 

Oh no.

“Hello, Danny. I am the Purple Empress.” 

No, no. Danny clenched his head and started walking backwards down the street.

“I never wanted to do this, Danny. Especially to you.”

What? 

“But it seems you’ve had what I wanted this whole time. I’m sorry to do this to you.” 

Danny could feel the transformation take over him and he looked up just as Dash called on his own and started running towards him. Then everything changed. 

[queenpiranhadon]

A/N: Yay chapter 2 is out!! This chapter is from Kaeda's perspective :D, and it written by me. Just an update for those who haven't seen it, Nyota's Wattpad postings of SCH will be on hiatus until my Tumblr chapters are in sync with hers :) You can find the complete masterlist of the series here

Warning(s) : Cursing, enemies to lovers, fantasy + royal universe, homophobes stay away!!

Pairing(s): Kaepex

What. 

The. 

Actual. 

Hell. 

Kaeda Leona Cynet. Is in my arms. 

I blink, looking down at her flushed face. 

I swear, in a split second, I feel the most emotions I’ve ever felt in my entire life. 

Her grey-blue eyes look up into my teal eyes and I can feel my face heat up. 

I shove her off me. 

“Watch where you’re fucking going,” I snap. 

Kaeda stands there, frozen in shock. 

“What, has your Reya finally taken over?” 

“Er- no-” she stammers. 

“Wow, and I thought Khaenpanii kids were smart. Guess I was wrong.” I smirk. 

Kaeda regains her composure and glares at me, an icy glare dripping with venom crossing her face. 

“For a princess of fire, your heart sure is cold. Just remember, ice is my thing, your majesty.” she bites, dipping into a sarcastic curtsy.

“What a jab,” I say indifferently. “Can’t think of any original insults? You’re so full of hot air, at this rate, you’ll be flying out the window the minute you’re made Syla.” 

While she retorts, I look out the window.  

“Yeah, sure, whatever. While you spend your time uselessly slandering me, I’ll be going home. See ya, dumbass.” 

Stalking away from Kaeda, a feeling of satisfaction hits me. Watching the “flawless” princess of Khaenpanii stumble was incredible and seeing her that flustered was hilarious. 

When I walk into my room, the satisfaction is replaced with a wave of disgust. I’ve lived in Watarumi for the past 10 years. You would think I have tons of stuff, but no. They encouraged us to pack lightly and to never decorate our rooms too much, so we don’t get attached. 

Ha, as if I could ever get attached to such a bland place away from my little brother. 

I snatch the deep red backpack filled with all my belongings off the floor and toss it over my shoulder. Picking up the small stack of various fiction and nonfiction books beside it, I look out the window. 

The sky is a bright blue, soft white clouds adorning the sea of blues. A flock of birds fly by, their melodious chirping filling the air.  

I guess Elektras is having a good day, I think. 

These are my last moments on this island, so I might as well cherish them. 

I trudge out of my now empty room, shutting the door behind me. 

This place doesn’t hold many of my good memories, so I don’t bother looking back.  

I step out into the pristine hallway, hesitating to walk down to the dock. 

I am incredibly prone to seasickness. I have a theory that it might be due to my Reya, as water is the polar opposite of fire. If it isn’t that, then... I have no idea. 

It makes traveling incredibly inconvenient. Especially since I have a long boat ride ahead of me. But I’ll do whatever it takes to get back to my family. 

For a while now, I’ve had this weird inkling that something isn’t right. Rumors of a weird illness have been going around for a while now, but recently, they’ve gotten a lot worse. It seems as though it came from one of the other continents, and the animals here are getting affected by it much more than Espyns. (A/N (nyota): minus the animal bit, this reminds me of something...) 

I force myself to walk down the hallway. 

Anything to get back to Covyn in time for his Reya Ceremony. 

The minute I walk out the hallway and onto the sturdy wooden bridge that eventually leads to the dock, I get sprayed in the face with a cold mist. 

“Agh!” I spluttered. “What the fuck?!” 

A soft giggle comes from my right. I turn to see a girl, just around my age, with crystal blue eyes and warm brown hair cascading down her shoulders. She wears a simple blue shirt and a darker blue knee-length skirt. 

“Cari!” I complain. Instinctively, I raise my hands and heat them up, carefully drying off my face. 

Cari Acquarone is the princess of Hydeau, the Water Domain. Cari’s going home today, too, although she’s going to Hydeau and I’m going to Fujimura. We're the same age, but she got her Reya after me. Hydeau’s patron god is Thanirrh, the god of water (duh), so I guess that’s just what he willed it to be. 

I wouldn’t know. Vohona, the fire goddess, is the patron goddess of Fujimura. I know next to nothing about Thanirrh. 

So basically, we’re opposites, and you would think that would make us enemies, like Little Miss Flawless and I. But no, actually. We’ve been best friends for the entire decade we’ve resided on this cursed island.  

Cari snickers. “What, you aren’t savoring your last moments here? Wow. Who are you and what have you done with my Apex.” 

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I am. You just have an... unconventional sense of humor,” I reply. “Also, since when do you have custody of me? I have a perfectly fine, living family, thank you.” 

She grins. “You’re only saying that because you have no sense of humor. And I’ve had custody of you for, let’s see... ten years.” 

“I refuse to accept either of those statements. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to the dock. I want to go home,” I say. A moment later, I’m halfway to the docks, feet hammering against the wooden bridge. Cari’s right at my heels, trying her hardest to catch up. 

Already to the boat, I stop to catch a breath, and also to let Cari catch up. She’s so slow, and it feels like forever when she finally stands beside me. 

“Cari, why are you so slow? Do you not want to get off this cursed island?” I tease. 

“I’m not slow, I just have short legs!” she protests. And, well, she does. I’m just above average height, and she’s below average height. “And I think you know the answer to that second question.” 

“Oh, I do,” I agree. I pick one of the books I was holding and throw it at her. Cari deflects it easily and summons a ball of seawater from the foaming waves below us. 

“Don’t you dare.” 

An evil smile crosses her face, and she wickedly says, “I do dare.” The water drops closer to the precious book. 

“If you do that, I will end you,” I threaten. 

The clicking of boots suddenly comes close, and I look to my right to see Kaeda. She has a disgusted look on her face, and I struggle to suppress a sigh. 

“So immature. Have you no respect for your kingdom’s image?” she says bitterly. Reaching down, she picks up the book and tosses it at me. 

“Hate to break it to you, but you’re not much better. Constantly going out of your way to argue with me?” I comment. “Oof, not very princess-y behavior.” 

The tips of the snow princess’s ears turn red for a moment before she sends a glare that sends chills down my spine. I blame it on her Reya. 

“Says the person whose own father decided that two kids wasn’t enough and had a child with a consort.” 

I don’t respond, knowing that if I do, Kaeda will end up as a pile of ashes on the ground. 

Cari tells her, “Low blow and uncalled for. Kaeda, you’re the reason the gods created the middle finger.” She sends me a look that says, “Get on the ship. I’ll follow you.” 

I oblige after sending Kaeda a sour look. Picking up the rest of my books beside me, I stomp up to the boat that would take me back to Fujimura. 

The ship rocks lightly on the waves, and I scramble to get to my small room before the seasickness sets in. 

The moment I flop onto my temporary bed, someone knocks on my door. 

“Come in,” I say tiredly. 

Cari trudges in. “That Kaeda girl is so annoying.” 

Sighing, I tell her, “Oh, I know.” 

“She’s infuriating.” 

“I’m aware.”  

[amazinggraciegurl]

Expect the Unexpected (Chapter 14: Refuge)

Wednesday July 5, 2017 (summer before senior year of high school) 1:32 pm

“Oh my fairy godmother!” Briar squeals as soon as Ashlynn answers the phone. “Ash! I have some super hexciting news!” Calls like this aren’t unusual from Briar. Pretty much everything excites the girl whose enthusiasm is unmatched by anybody Ashlynn knows. Ashlynn laughs, endearment for her friend warming her chest. “What is it, Briar?” Briar takes a deep breath. “Okay! You aren’t going to believe this, but Faybelle and I are dating!” Ashlynn’s jaw drops as shock swells through her like a wave. It takes her a moment to find her voice. “Wow, Briar! That’s great!”

Ashlynn doesn’t know what to make of the emotions swirling inside her right now. She should be thrilled for her BFFA; but all she feels is shock and confusion. The last time she saw Briar and Faybelle together, they’d tolerated each other, but in no way had they seemed like soon-to-be girlfriends. Briar did tell her that she had feelings for Faybelle, but Ashlynn wasn’t sure if that was just the aftereffects of the dream they’d shared, along with the clarity Briar suddenly had with her sexuality. “Oh my gosh, Ash! She’s just so awesome! At summer camp, we just really bonded and got to know each other better! And she’s so much deeper than what meets the eye! She’s funny and smart and loving in her own unique way! And I just--uh, she’s just amazing, Ash! I can’t wait for you two to get to know each other better this fall!” A smile brightens Ashlynn’s face at the happiness in Briar’s voice. More than anything, she wants her friend to be happy. And if Faybelle makes her this happy, then Ashlynn is all for it.

“I’m really happy for you, Briar!” Ashlynn exclaims. “And I can’t wait to see both of you this fall! Also, you and I can finally have double dates like we’ve always wanted to!” Briar laughs. “Oh my gosh! Yes! I can’t wait! Anyways, how are you doing?” Ashlynn grins, content to just be talking with her BFFA again. “I’m good! Just chilling at home. But ugh, I miss you!” “Me too! I was going crazy at camp, not being able to talk to you!” “Being roommates has made us even more inseparable than we were as kids!” Ashlynn laughs. “True!” They giggle. Ashlynn sighs happily. The bizarrity of Briar and Faybelle dating is an uncomfortable twinge in her gut, but she knows that no matter what, Briar will always be her best friend; and that alone is enough to make her extremely happy.

XXX Friday September 1, 2017 2:03 pm “Ugh!” Briar groans as she walks into her and Ashlynn’s dorm. “Faybelle, I already told you! No!” She’s talking on the phone, scowling. Ashlynn sits on the bed, watching her with concern. Ashlynn had just unpacked and was scrolling through her phone, waiting for Briar to arrive. She’s thrilled to see her, but seeing Briar upset dampens her mood. What in the world are Briar and Faybelle arguing about? “Faybelle, this is non-negotiable!” Briar exclaims. “I am rooming with Ashlynn, and that’s that! We promised that we’d stay roommates since we became ones in sophomore year, and that is not going to change!” Ashlynn’s eyes widen. Her breath stills in her throat. So that’s what this is about. Faybelle is actually giving Briar a hard time about not rooming with her? Ashlynn doesn’t know what she feels more--guilt for standing between Briar and Faybelle, or anger for Faybelle treating her best friend this way. “That’s it!” Briar snaps. “I’m not going to argue with you over this anymore! Ashlynn is my BFFA, and I would never let her down! Call me when you're ready to have a productive conversation!"

Briar hangs up, slamming her phone down on her desk. She turns to Ashlynn, breathing heavily, her face flushed. Ashlynn thinks the girl is going to cry for a second before a weak smile replaces the grimace on her face. "Hey, Ash!" Ashlynn smiles brightly, the stress from the moment before melting at the sight of her best friend, all pink clothes and exuberance and warm hugs. "Briar!" she squeals, jumping to her feet and running to her friend. They hug tightly. Ashlynn breathes in the smell of Briar's rose perfume, smiles at the warmth of the embrace. She doesn't know how long it's been before they pull away. All she knows is that she immediately wants to hug Briar again.

"I missed you!" Briar exclaims. "How was your summer?" "It was good. I mostly just hung out in the forest by my house. It was lovely to see all my animal friends again! How was yours?" "That sounds fableous, Ash! Mine was good, too! Other than the trip to Mermaid Cove that I told you about, I just chased after my brothers a lot!" They both laugh. "And you know, summer camp." Briar blushes, nervously meeting Ashlynn's eyes. Clearly, she doesn't want to talk about Faybelle right now. Ashlynn knows what will distract her. "Hey, let's find Apple, and we can all go to the Glass Slipper and shop for back to school shoes!" Briar's face lights up, her eyes widening with excitement. "Yes! That sounds amazing! Great idea, Ash!" Ashlynn smiles, glad that she could cheer Briar up. "Okay then! Let's go!"

XXX Friday October 6, 2017 4:07 pm Ashlynn groans as she walks to her dorm room. Why does Hunter have to be so dense sometimes?! She can't go to the bookball game tonight because her mother is in town, and they're going to dinner in Book End! It's not that she'd rather do that than watch Hunter play! He needs to stop getting so butthurt over everything! Okay, she reasons–maybe she would rather go out to dinner with her mother than go to Hunter's bookball game. But that's because she hasn't seen her mother in over a month! She's been to so many of his bookball games!

As she approaches her room, she hears “Teenage Dream” by Katy Fairy playing. She's surprised Briar is there and not off, setting up the aftergame party. She shrugs, opening the door. "Briar," she whines, "you will not believe how stupid of an argument Hunter and I–" She freezes as she takes in the sight of Briar straddling Faybelle on her bed, her hair tangled, her lipstick smeared. She and Faybelle look over at Ashlynn, their eyes wide. "Ashlynn!" Briar exclaims. "I'm sorry! I didn't know you'd be back yet!" Ashlynn's heart pounds, her throat feeling like it's about to close up, like when she accidentally eats food with peanuts. "I'm sorry!" she squeaks, backing away towards the door. "I'll just go!"

She runs out, quickly shutting the door behind her. She dashes down the hall, her heart crashing in her head. She doesn't stop until she reaches the bathroom. Thankfully, it's empty. She leans against the wall, burying her burning face in her hands. "Oh God," she groans. "Why, Ashlynn? Why did you do that? You should have knocked, you doofus!" She turns, lightly hitting her head against the wall. "Stupid," she mutters. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

XXX Friday December 1, 2017 6:03 pm When the day of the double date comes, Ashlynn doesn't know why she's so nervous. Her stomach flutters as she sits at her vanity, applying mascara. Briar is by her closet, pulling out dress after dress. "Ugh!" she groans. "I don't know what to wear! Faybelle says she likes me in blue, but it just clashes so much with my hair!" Ashlynn suppresses the urge to roll her eyes. If Hunter ever told her he liked her in a certain color, she'd be furious. Who talks to their partner like that?! "Well, I think you look gorgeous in every color, Briar," Ashlynn says. "You should wear whatever you feel comfortable with." A moment of silence passes. Ashlynn cringes, wondering if she said the wrong thing when Briar softly speaks. "Thank you, Ash. That's so sweet." Ashlynn blushes, looking down at her makeup palette. "You're welcome, Bri."

XXX 6:32 pm As soon as the couples arrive at the restaurant and sit down at the booth, Ashlynn and Hunter on one side and Briar and Faybelle on the other, Faybelle raises her hand up and waves a server over. "Hey, server! A strawberry milkshake for my girlfriend and I please!" Briar blushes slightly, clearly uncomfortable with her girlfriend's lack of etiquette. "We'll have a vanilla shake with soy milk please," Hunter says. "Okay," says the server. "Coming right up." An awkward silence ensues as the server walks away.

A moment later, when Ashlynn feels like she's going to crawl out of her skin, Briar speaks up. "I love this restaurant's breadsticks! We'll have to do a double order!" "Yes!" Ashlynn enthusiastically agrees, thanking the heavens for Briar's social skills. "And the mozzarella sticks that they can make with soy cheese! Amazing! Honestly, the appetizers are my favorite things here!" "Yeah," Faybelle says. "You'll have to fatten up for the bookball game this Friday, Hunter! You guys have to win this time to make sure my cheerhexing team looks epic! We've been practicing a ton of new moves, and a loss will dampen the wow factor!" Faybelle then proceeds to discuss her plans to take her cheerhexing team to the next level for five minutes. Briar smiles pleasantly, but Ashlynn can see a hint of annoyance in her eyes. "Baby," Briar says, cutting Faybelle off when Hunter begins to look nervous from Faybelle's insistence that the bookball team win, "why don't we talk about the aftergame party we're planning?! It's going to be off the page!"

Faybelle shrugs, taking Briar's hand as the girl begins to enthuse over the new decorations she ordered for the party. Ashlynn looks at the fairy, noticing the softness in her eyes. She really does seem to adore Briar. That thought comforts Ashlynn, but she still can't shake the feeling that something isn't quite right with Faybelle, that she might hurt Briar. Ashlynn knows that she shouldn't be so overprotective, but she can't help it. Briar and her have been BFFAs for as long as she can remember, and she never wants to see her betrayed.

Ashlynn is shaken from her thoughts by the clink of glass on the table as a milkshake is set before her and Hunter. She looks up. Briar and Faybelle are already drinking their milkshake from two straws, their heads touching. "Thank you," she says quickly. "Of course," says the waiter. "Now, what can I get for you guys to eat?" Ashlynn and Hunter order kale salads, Briar orders spaghetti, and Faybelle orders a hamburger. Briar gazes at Faybelle, looking like she wants to say something. She probably wants to tell her to not order meat. Ashlynn and Hunter don't care if people eat meat around them. Briar still insists on not doing it, though. That's just how Briar is. Thoughtful, sensitive, caring.

"I can't believe it's almost Christmas!" Hunter enthuses when the server leaves. "I love how merry everything is this time of year! Plus, it'll snow, and we'll get to go sledding and ice skating and–oh, it's just so fun!" Ashlynn smiles, squeezing her boyfriend's hand. Hunter's childlike wonder is one of the things that she loves about him. "Totally!" Faybelle exclaims. "You should see me out on the ice! I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, to say the least!" "So does Ashlynn!" Hunter says excitedly. "She's spellbinding on the ice!" Faybelle raises her eyebrows challengingly. "Yes," Briar says, stopping the argument before it starts. "Faybelle and Ashlynn are both amazing ice skaters, and I can't wait to watch both of them rock the ice rink this winter!" Ashlynn smiles, the kindness of Briar's compliment warm and fuzzy in her chest.

When their meals come, Hunter and Faybelle demolish their food, eating like they've been starved. That's always how Hunter eats, and apparently Faybelle is just as uncivilized. Ashlynn and Briar eat slower, glancing at each other every few moments, smiling with the mutual endearment they have for their partners.

The night is chilly as they walk back to the school. Snow crunches under their boots. Hunter's hand in hers is the only warmth that Ashlynn feels as the frigid wind blows past. "You want to come up to my dorm?" he asks her, his voice low. "Dexter is having a sleepover with Daring and Hopper tonight." Briar and Faybelle walk together a few feet ahead of them. Ashlynn's stomach tingles with nervous excitement. She and Hunter have spent the night together before, but nothing other than kissing happened. From the smoldering gaze Hunter levels at her, she has a feeling this night may be different. "Sure," she says, surprised by the sudden seductive lilt in her voice. "I'd love to."

XXX Saturday December 9, 2017 12:30 am Ashlynn paces around her dorm room, her heart pounding. When is Briar going to be back?! It's 12:30! The party at the Goose & Gander Nightclub was over at midnight! She really wishes that Briar would stop going to these crazy adult parties! She's underage for kingdoms sake! Briar would've never done anything like this before she dated Faybelle! That fairy is a terrible influence on her! At least Briar hasn't drank. Ashlynn knows that Faybelle does. She gasps when there's a knock at the door. "Briar!" she exclaims, running over. She throws open the door, sighing with relief at the sight of her best friend. "Briar! Thank goodness! It's so late! What were you–" Her voice trails off as she takes in Briar's appearance. She's swaying on her feet, and where are her shoes?! "Briar!" she exclaims. "Are you okay?! Where are your shoes?!" "Don't know," Briar slurs. "Lost them somewhere. I–" She lets out a rather unprincessly belch. She covers her mouth, giggling. "Hexcuse me." Ashlynn gasps as the gears in her brain click into place. Briar is drunk! Briar Beauty, the girl with straight A's, who tutors students in Chemythstry, who video calls her family every night, is drunk! "Oh my gosh, Briar!" she shrieks. "You're drunk?! Get in here!"

She grabs the girl's hands and pulls her into the room, quickly shutting the door. She keeps a tight grip on her hands as she leads her to her bed and helps her sit. "Briar! How could you?!" she cries, panic coursing through her. "You know better!" "Chill, Ash," says Briar, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm fine. Faybelle does it all the time, and she's perfectly okay!" "I don't know if I'd call her perfectly okay!" A flash of irritation flickers across Briar's face. Guilt immediately floods Ashlynn. "Jeez, Ash," Briar says. "Tell me how you really feel." Ashlynn winces. She sighs, sitting down next to Briar. "I'm sorry, Briar. Faybelle is perfectly okay." Briar shrugs. "It's alright, Ash. Don't sweat it." Ashlynn sighs in relief. It's been so long that she can't even remember the last time her and Briar fought, and she wants to keep it that way. "Briar, I just don't want you to be peer pressured. I care about you so much, and the thought of you getting hurt. I–" She squeezes her eyes shut, forcing away the image of Briar drugged in the back of a man's pickup truck; of Briar sprawled on the wet asphalt, too disoriented to have noticed the car barreling towards her; of Briar drowned at the bottom of a lake, her ability to swim stripped away by the poison that is alcohol.

"I won't get hurt," Briar says, her words becoming more slurred by the minute. "You know me! I'm super careful! Careful is my middle name! I'm Briar Careful Beauty!" Ashlynn shakes her head, unable to suppress a laugh. "That's it, Ash!" Briar exclaims. "I love to hear that beautiful laugh of yours!" Ashlynn's face burns, butterflies suddenly fluttering in her stomach. Briar reaches over, pulling her into a tight embrace. Ashlynn gasps at the sudden impact. “You are the best, Ash!” Briar slurs, squeezing the girl tight. “I just need you to know how amazing you are and how much I love you!” Ashlynn giggles, hugging Briar back. “You're the best, too,” she says, her body heating as she runs her fingers through Briar's hair. “And I love you too."

Briar pulls back slightly. Her brown eyes gaze into hers as she gently cups Ashlynn's cheeks. Ashlynn can feel her face growing hotter by the second. “Do you know how beautiful you are, Ash?” she asks. Her warm, stale breath blows in Ashlynn's face, and the girl struggles not to recoil at the smell of alcohol. “Um, I guess…” Her voice trails off. Briar giggles. “Well, you don't have to guess,” she says. “Cause you are. You're gorgeous and sweet and caring and loyal and smart and literally everything anybody could ask for in a person!”

Ashlynn's stomach somersaults at Briar’s sweet words. A fluttery sensation drapes over her. A sudden thump as Briar jumps off the bed startles Ashlynn. She looks up and immediately bursts into laughter as she watches Briar hopping around the room, waving her arms in the air. Her long, wavy locks fly around her head like a brown tornado as she skips and bounces. After doing a full circle around the dorm, Briar bounds back over to her. She's breathing heavily, her face flushed. Her eyes sparkle as she reaches her arms out towards Ashlynn. “Come on, Ash!” she exclaims, bouncing on her heels. “Dance with me, girl!” Ashlynn glances around the room, unable to fight the grin spreading across her face. She giggles at Briar’s wide, expectant eyes, her bright, charming smile that never fails to draw Ashlynn in.

“Well,” she starts, standing and taking Briar’s hands, “with some music, I'm sure I can whip some of my moves out!” She laughs as she watches Briar’s smile expand even more. A red streak of lipstick is smeared across her front teeth. Ashlynn laughs as she takes her Mirrorphone out of her pocket and selects one of her Pandora playlists. She smiles widely as “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons begins to play. “Yeah!” Briar exclaims. “This is a great dance song!”

She starts doing her signature dance move again, which happens to be jumping up and down, embellished with some arm flapping. Briar reaches her arms out. “Come on, Ash!" Excitement zips through her like electricity as she bounds over to Briar. She laughs as Briar grabs her hands and jumps around, pulling Ashlynn with her. Ashlynn laughs harder, bouncing along with Briar. They spin in circles, gripping each other's hands tightly. Briar lets go with one hand and swings Ashlynn under her arm. Ashlynn giggles. They switch hands, and Ashlynn does the same to Briar. Briar laughs boisterously as they dance back to back, shaking their bums. Ashlynn shrieks as Briar lifts her up. She immediately bursts into laughter as Briar spins in a circle, swinging Ashlynn through the air. “Whoo!” Ashlynn cheers.

She’s still laughing when Briar sets her down. Briar wraps her arms around her. Slowly, they sway from side to side. Ashlynn sighs contentedly, resting her cheek on Briar's shoulder. “I guess we're slow dancing now,” Briar laughs. Ashlynn giggles as Briar pulls her closer. She smells Briar’s rose perfume, along with the sweat on her neck. Ashlynn registers that the song “Centuries” by Fallout Boy is playing now. “Not a very good slow dance song,” Briar says, laughing softly. “Yeah, not really,” Ashlynn agrees. She closes her eyes. She can feel the girl’s heart beating. Strands of her hair tickle her face. She doesn't mind, though. All these sensations add to the contentment that she feels, warm and fuzzy in her gut. Briar's arms hold her close, strong and gentle, a combination so perfectly Briar.

"You're beautiful, Ash," Briar mumbles, leaning heavier on Ashlynn. "So beautiful." Ashlynn's cheeks once again flush. "Thank you," she murmurs. "You are too." "And you want to know who else is beautiful?" Briar sleepily drawls. "Who?" Ashlynn asks, her curiosity piqued. "Apple," Briar whispers, her breath hot against Ashlynn's neck. Ashlynn shivers. "Apple is beautiful," she agrees. "She's the fairest one of all." She chuckles. "She's so freaking beautiful," Briar murmurs. "I miss when we were little, and I'd play with her hair. Now it would just be weird if I did that."

Ashlynn remembers how obsessed Briar was with Apple's hair when they were kids. She'd run her fingers through it and style it with bows and flowers and tell Apple, over and over again, how much she loves it. "I thought maybe you did that because she's always felt so insecure about being blonde," Ashlynn muses. "No," Briar replies, her voice weak as the exhaustion of her night out catches up with her. "I love her hair. And I love her. So much. You know I used to fantasize about us getting married?" Ashlynn's stomach jolts like she's driving on a bumpy road, and the car just flew over a pothole. "Yeah," Briar continues. "We'd live in the Snow White Castle together and rule the land together and have tons of kids." She laughs sadly. "But no. Those days are over. I got over it. It was hard. I had to watch her have the hots for Raven and not realize it. Raven! The girl who single-handedly destroyed her destiny! And then I had to watch her find out her True Love is Darling. What if it had been me?!"

She pulls back slightly, gazing at Ashlynn with wide eyes. "I would do anything for her! I would've done CPR on her if I'd known how! And if there happened to be a flash of light and a heart-shaped wisp of smoke she coughed up, would we be together now?!" Ashlynn has never been more shocked in her life. Briar in love with Apple?! Her insides feel frozen, but still she holds Briar tighter as the girl's voice starts to shake. "And now it's too late for any of that! She cares more for Raven than me, she's head over heels for Darling, and they're going to get together any day now! There's no room left on the page for me!" She sniffles, burying her face in Ashlynn's shoulder. "And I'm over her! I am! I love Faybelle! But–" her voice breaks, "I still can't help but feel forgotten, you know?" Ashlynn feels her heart shattering in her chest at the hurt in her friend's voice. Her eyes burn with tears. She wants to reassure Briar that Apple cares just as much about her as she does Raven, if not more, but she knows that the girl isn't going to absorb a word she says in her current state. "Yeah," she whispers. "I know." "It's just hard," Briar croaks.

And then the tears come, warm against Ashlynn's shoulder. Briar's body shakes with sobs, and Ashlynn just holds her close, not knowing what else to do. "I'm sorry, Briar," Ashlynn murmurs. "I'm so sorry." "It hurts, Ashlynn!" Briar sobs, holding on to her with a vice grip. Ashlynn presses her lips to Briar's head, breathing in the scent of her rose shampoo. "I know, baby," Ashlynn whispers, slowly rocking side to side. "I know." She closes her eyes, visualizing a happier place, a meadow of eternal joy with bright green grass, every type of animal in the world, and constant sunshine. A place where they can be with who they love, not bound by the cold shackles of destiny.

[yeschefthankyouchef]

hello i’m back it’s been a long 24 hours of me itching to read this chapter🤠

okay uhm WOW. WOWZA. this chapter was so fucking good - the angst, baby and carmy finally finding neutral ground again, the way that you wrote this absolutely batshit insane episode? it was all perfection.

i have my theories about what baby got him for christmas but I AM DYING TO KNOW WHATS IN THE BOX. IS IT KNIVES - DID SHE GET HIM THE KNIFE SET THAT HE USES? only time will tell but i feel like a little kid on christmas looking at all the presents under the tree and wishing i had x ray vision.

▫️▫️▫️

“Exactly, Mikey volunteered to pick my mom and I up from her chemo appointment, and Richie bless his soul was trying to make dinner for us.”

richie🥹🥹 he is such a sweetie and this little tidbit made me giggle so much. baby really had tweedle dee and tweedle dum as pseudo-protective older brothers and i love that for her.

“The laughter in the room took over once again as the two of you imagined how much your mom’s little crush inflated Richie’s ego.”

this is a weird little note but i absolutely love how much you’re building lore into the existing lore of the show, and in a way that doesn’t feel like too much. it feels like a directors cut almost? and i love that so much. i am so high and i feel like i am IN the story right now. (also fuck the haters who don’t like nicknames in x reader fics - i personally love it. i’d rather imagine myself as close enough to the family to have a nickname than disrupt the flow of writing with y/n every five seconds)

“Ahem, yeah…yeah it's a little weird, first Christmas without her and everything.”

YIKKKKKEEEEEEESSSSSSSS. so carmy really be that asshole huh? what an unfortunate christmas for her - how did you somehow manage to make fishes even more tragic?

“Pete making his way towards you from across the street, hand going up in a little wave to greet you.”

i fr love pete so much. like - i have a really hard time with my own in laws and having an in law like pete would be a game changer, somebody whose also on the outside that is so supportive and goofy and kind hearted

“What the fuck did you end up buying him?”

he is so silly and goofy and protective🥹

“Ahem, I uh I overheard what you said to Pete. Is your mom doing okay? Was the trip out here too much for her?”

oh. my. god. HE IS SO THAT ASSHOLE W T F F F F F F F FF F F

“Carmy made a decision in that moment, as soon as this night was over, he was buying you a fucking Christmas present.”

wow my boy does have at least one brain cell! i think that is actually the bare fucking minimum that you could do at this point carmy.

“Baby! Nice of you to join us, mind doing me a favor and handing me those forks?”

this is such a serious scene but i was laughing so hard at it during the show and this line made me laugh just as much. it fits in there so seamlessly.

“I said of course she’s gonna fucking do what you say the girl has no fucking backbone.”

lee is going to CATCH THESE HANDS in the applebees parking lot - we’ll see who has no backbone then

“eyes finding Carmen's eyebrows raised in a silent question, eyes searching your face to catch any remaining emotions, you smoothed out the frown on your face sending him a small nod to let him know you were fine.”

this is such a sweet and intimate moment after such a brutal moment. maybe! just maybe! carmy does still care.

“I could, ahem, I could drive you.”

ahhhh yes, a good old fashioned olive branch and a good amount of time alone to talk it out

“Taking a step into the room your eyes found Carmy sitting on his twin sized bed, legs propped up as a book rested on his knees, highlighter clenched between his teeth as he raptly read his book.”

baby is so brave because if i walked into this it would be on sight. who gave him the audacity to be this hot? he knows what he’s doing putting the highlighter between his teeth like that.

“His eyes were drawn to the medium sized ‘B’ in a typewriter-like font painted in the space behind your ear.”

this whole scene is so domestic i’m screaming and THIS TATTOO. THIS TATTOO KILLED ME.

*adding onto this reblog to let you know that i stared at the gif for atleast 5 minutes before i started reading, so, thank you for blessing me with that*

chapter 3 | lavender vanilla

↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairings: platonic!mikey berzatto x fem!reader | carmen berzatto x fem!reader | platonic!richie jerimovich x fem!reader

summary: christmas dinner commences, you and carmy put your differences aside for a night.

warnings: language | angst | fluff | mentions of cancer | mentions of death | lee’s geriatric ass | carmy trying his best | donna’s mental health | talk of drug abuse | let me know if i missed anything please!!!

wc: 6.9k

The sound of laughter could be heard through the door of Donna’s bedroom. The two women occupying it caught up with each other like no time had passed at all. You were laying down on the end of Donna’s bed, elbow propped up so your hand could hold your head up. Tiff laying in front of you sitting up slightly from you adjusting her pillows when you had first made an appearance in the room.

“Wait so Richie actually blew up your mom’s microwave?” The words coming out between the laughs that had been wracking Tiffany’s body. Eyes glistening with unshed tears as she listened to your account of the story.

You sat up rapidly head nodding to confirm Tiff’s question, “Exactly, Mikey volunteered to pick my mom and I up from her chemo appointment, and Richie bless his soul was trying to make dinner for us.” You paused as you couldn’t stop giggling at the memory, “He couldn’t find any plates, so he put fucking foil in the microwave, and by the time we got home the house was full of smoke and there were scorch marks on the wall.” You couldn’t help but to lean over clenching your stomach at the belly aching laugh the memory induced. Tiff doing no better hand gently cradling her bump as she tried to catch her breath.

Finally getting enough air into her lungs Tiff spoke up, “Wha-What did your mom do?” She searched your eyes waiting to hear your explanation. Your own laughter had finally settled down allowing you to finish your story, “Absolutely nothing! My mom was so sweet on Richie he could’ve burnt the house down and she would’ve thanked him for it!” The laughter in the room took over once again as the two of you imagined how much your mom’s little crush inflated Richie’s ego.

The two of you had finally calmed down sitting in the ambience that a memory from your younger years left behind. Tiff did her best to sit up, careful not to move too quickly in case it induced a bout of nausea. Her hands reached out gently clasping yours in her embrace, “I’m sorry she couldn’t be here with us today.” The slight squeeze she sent your hands conveying the raw emotion she felt, the small sad smile gracing her lips doing their best to comfort you.

You nodded, sending your own small smile her way, eyes quickly leaving hers to dart around the room, not comfortable enough to see the earnestness in her blue eyes. You cleared your throat trying to ground yourself, “Ahem, yeah…yeah it's a little weird, first Christmas without her and everything.” You let out a pathetic little laugh doing your best to not let the gloomy feeling settle over the room.

You squeezed Tiff’s hands back finally finding her eyes again, “Speaking of, she actually made something for you-well for the baby actually.” You motioned to Tiff’s stomach trying to move the conversation along to something much more light-hearted. “I’ll just go get it yeah, I want you and Richie to open it together.” Tiff nodded eyes misting at your mom’s selflessness in what must have been a debilitating time for her.

Smiling at Tiff one last time you quickly got up to make your way downstairs to where Carmy had hang your coat and bag. You made your way down stairs laughter and loud voices coming from the direction of the living room. You made it to the closet where your belongings were quickly grabbing your keys out of your tote bag you debated slipping your coat on before ultimately deciding it wouldn’t be necessary. You could hear Mikey’s voice as you made your way out the door, he and Richie recounting one of their many tales. You quickly slipped through the door making sure it closed behind you as to not let any cold air in.

Rushing to your car you popped the trunk reaching for the Christmas themed gift bag. You reached up to shut your trunk wanting to hurry and get back inside when your eyes landed on the large matte black box sitting in your trunk. A matching black bow and envelope atop of it, the white ink that spelled out Carmy’s name glaring back at you.

You let go of the trunk letting out an exasperated sigh. You hand planned on personally giving him the gift and watching as he opened it, wanting to see his reaction. But as your brain thought about the argument you had with him earlier, that hope quickly dwindled. You sat the gift bag on top of the box before reaching to pick up the box itself, shutting your trunk and locking your car. The sound of another car door closing caught your attention, Pete making his way towards you from across the street, hand going up in a little wave to greet you. You smiled racing your hand holding your car keys to return his greeting.

Deciding to wait for him so you could walk in together, your eyes took in the aluminum tray grasped in his hands, “Oh shit.” The expletive left your lips as Pete finally took his place by your side, his wide goofy grin drawing your eyes, he balanced the tray in one hand to give you a side hug that you willingly leaned into. “Baby you look great! How’ve you been?” You smiled, seeing Pete before re-entering the house was like a breath of fresh air. The two of you began your trek up the sidewalk.

“Doing my best Pete. Um what cha got in your hands there?” Your head nodding to the tray held in his hands. Pete followed your vision before smiling back at you “Tuna casserole! Couldn’t come empty handed you know.” Pete’s happy go lucky energy bringing a small smile to your face, the two of you stopped before entering the house. You adjusted the box in your hands, free hand reaching out to gently squeeze Pete’s bicep.

“Oh you poor kind soul, they’re gonna fuck you up in there.” The words cause Pete’s smile to falter as you send him a toothy one of your own before walking through the door and holding it open for Pete to walk through. As you both walked through the front entrance you caught the tail end of what sounded to have been a hostile conversation, Pete stealing the show by making his presence known. You had half the mind to leave Pete to defend himself, but a part of you would’ve felt bad for letting someone as sweet as Pete take the heat alone. You walked around Pete sitting on the arm of the chair Mikey was sitting in, his arm going to wrap around your waist unconsciously.

“You know it’s seven fishes, right Pete?” Mikey’s question drew the rest of the room's attention to the tray Pete was still happily holding. The room burst with voices as almost everyone took turns berating Pete. You leaned back slightly so you weren’t blocking Mikey’s view before turning your head in Richie’s direction hoping to gain his attention.

You reached behind Mikey’s back to pinch Richie’s arm his eyebrows shooting up an offended look on his features as his head turned to you, “What the fuck was that for Baby? Pete’s the one with the eighth fish.” You rolled your eyes hand grabbing the gift bag from its place on the box, maneuvering around Mikey’s imposing body before handing it off to Richie, “Merry Christmas Richie, its for you and Tiff so don’t open it without her,” You scolded raising your eyebrows to further cement your message. “It's from mom, she um, she didn’t get to finish it so I apologize if my knitting skills didn’t do it justice.” The last part quickly added on in a joking tone as you noticed Richie’s eyes taking on a solemn look to them.

He gently grabbed the gift bag out of your hand, a slight nod sent in your direction as he gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “Thank you Baby, means a lot.” You smiled back quickly, turning back to the conversation, not wanting to get caught up in any more unwanted emotions.

Carmy’s voice breaking through the onslaught of shit Pete was getting, “Hey, family. Come on, let’s sit. Okay dinner’s ready, alright.” Your eyes connected with his baby blues as you subtly tried to adjust the envelope sitting on the box so the bow could hide the recipient’s name. Your gaze was snatched away from Carmy as your attention was directed to Mikey who was whispering in your ear. Carmy did his best not to let the sight bother him, Mikey drilling his ass in the pantry earlier about what he accused the two of you of. It was hard not to though when you had so comfortably leaned into Mikey’s body whispering your own secret back into his ear, the sight of Mikey’s thumb rubbing gentle circles in the material of your shirt that was covering your waist causing Carmy’s head to spin, quickly removing his attention to Pete to ease his insecurities.

You hadn’t noticed Carmy’s eyes glued to you as you exchanged hushed whispers with Mikey, “What the fuck did you end up buying him?” Mikey’s words caressed your lips as his free hand tapped against the present sitting in your lap. You followed his hands before whispering back to him, “Something that I’m not even sure was worth saving up like 10 paychecks for this shit.” You scoffed feeling a bit miffed about the present since you and Carmy were still on uncertain terms. Mikey nodded a smile gracing his lips as he softly bumped his head into yours, “He’ll appreciate it Baby, I know he will.” You sent him a hopeful smile, you may have been annoyed with the youngest Berzatto and his antics, but you really did want him to like the gift.

“Yo Baby, Baby.” Your eyes found Carmy’s as he called for your attention, “What is that? What the fuck is Pete holding?” You quickly looked at Pete feeling bad that he was on trial before finding Carmy’s eyes again, a small smile finding your lips as you sent a shrug in his direction, not wanting to be the one to rat Pete’s good intentions out.

Carmy modded lips pursing as he wiped his hands down his face as he turned his attention to Steve knowing he’d give him a straight answer, “You’re gonna be upset, but his heart was in the right place, Carm. It’s a tuna casserole.” The slight flush you could see creeping up Carmy’s neck indicating the toll this mishap was taking on him.

You leaned into Mikey more, settling into a more comfortable position as you drowned out the rest of Pete’s trial. You were ready for the day to be over and you hadn’t even eaten dinner yet, you could feel your eyes slowly drifting shut as Mikey’s warm body pressed into your side, each rise and fall of his broad chest pulling you into the purgatory before sleep and consciousness.

The sound of Sugar’s voice jumping onto the tuna casserole bandwagon roused you from the little peacefulness you were beginning to find. You watched with drowsy eyes as she snatched the dish from his hands presumably disposing of it, you softly pat Mikey’s thigh before removing yourself from your seat intending to find somewhere to drop Carmy’s present off at. You stopped in the threshold of the door sending Pete a small smile, “If it makes you feel better Donna threatened to beat my mom’s ass when we showed up with collard greens and baked Mac n cheese our first Christmas here.” You gave a soft pat to his elbow hoping the anecdote helped him feel someone better.

You left the living room, eyes looking around for a practical spot to leave Carmy’s present. You debated leaving it on the small side table in the hallway, but you weren’t too sure if anyone would give it a second thought. Carmy stopped in the doorway of the kitchen as he found you standing in the hallway, the matte black box still clutched in your hands. He had half a mind to hide out in the kitchen until you left but knew he’d probably get shit from his mom about it.

He cleared his throat, gaining your attention as he took a few steps to lessen the distance between you. His hand raising up to scratch the back of his neck, eyes not meeting yours as he prepared himself to interact with you, “Ahem, I uh I overheard what you said to Pete. Is your mom doing okay? Was the trip out here too much for her?”

You stared at Carmen eyes cold and unwavering, you knew his question held no malicious intent but it still felt like a slap to the face. The silence from you finally caused Carmy’s eyes to meet your own, the soft color of your irises giving nothing away.

“She died eight months ago Carmen.” Carmy felt like his whole world had stop the voices in the background drowinng out as the bubble the two of you were standing in was filled with nothing but silence.

Carmy’s arm raised his head forcefully running through his hair, head darting to the side to compose himself. “Shit Baby, I’m sorry I-I didn’t know.”

You nodded eyes straying to the present in your hands swallowing the lump in your throat, “How would you?” An out of place laugh leaving your lips as you looked at Carmy, the kicked puppy expression on your face making you feel a little bad. Letting out a sigh you shook your head, “I’m sorry Carmy, that wasn’t fair.”

Carmy copied your motions, his own hand shaking as he reached out a gentle unsure hand to lay on top of yours, “No no, uh I think I deserved that one.” His boyish smile doing its best to offer you some form of comfort in this moment. Your eyes dropped to his mouth, the smile you hadn’t seen in so long unconsciously causing one to appear on your own lips, head dropping to the calloused hand gently on yours.

The hand quickly retreated to its owner, Carmy not wanting to push anymore boundaries, eyes looking at the box one more time a scapegoat from this conversation, “Uh so what’s in the box?” His hand gestured to the rather large decorative box that looked quite fancy now that he could see it up close.

You let out a shy chuckle, “It's uh actually for you. Merry Christmas.” You held out the box to him urging him to take it out of your hands. His eyes shot down to the box, surprised you had even thought about him, “If you don’t feel like opening it now I could just leave it in your room.” Your head motioning up the stairs.

Carmy stepped back nodding his head, “Uh yeah please if you don’t mind.” He sent you an awkward smile, guilt creeping up his chest. You smiled turning to head up stairs and drop his present off, he called out to you as made it halfway up the stairs. You stopped turning to face him, “I uh, I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

Carmy watched as you drew your lips up into a broad smile. He knew it was fake though, that small sparkle wasn’t in your eyes, the edges of them not crinkling either the way he had once been used to your pretty teeth not making an appearance for him either. He watched as you sent him a small shrug, “It’s okay Carmy, I wasn’t expecting one anyway.” You resumed your journey upstairs to his room.

Carmen was left alone at the bottom of the staircase, eyes still glued to the spot you were just minutes ago. He closed his eyes trying to get a deep breath into his lungs. Carmy was trying to understand how he had ever deserved to once have you in his life, he was a grade A fucking asshole to you, and you still treated him with the same love and thoughtfulness you always had. Carmy made a decision in that moment, as soon as this night was over, he was buying you a fucking Christmas present.

You closed the door behind you as you exited Carmy’s childhood room, the air of nostalgia pressing down on you while you were in there almost suffocating you. You had been in there entirely too long, easily getting caught up in how much easier life was when you and Carmy used to build pillow forts and tell ghost stories in there. You had meant to just place the present at the foot of his bed and go, but you found yourself getting caught up in the memories and flipping through the various culinary books that had been sitting on the nightstand paying extra close attention to the pages that had been tabbed.

By the time you made it to the dining room everyone had sat down and the only empty seat was to the right of Sugar and directly across from Carmy. You walked in brows pitched together at the commotion that could be heard, eyes locking with Carmy’s at the same time something aggressively hit your thigh.

A chorus of “Michael” could be heard around the dining room. You looked down at the sound of metal clanging against metal, one fork laying next to your foot another a little ways in front of it. Bending down you scooped the two forks up in your hand. You looked around the table even more confused than you already were eyes darting to Mikey as he threw his arms open in greeting, “Baby! Nice of you to join us, mind doing me a favor and handing me those forks?” Your eyes flashed to the forks in your hand before taking in everyone’s expressions around the table.

You had no clue what you had just walked into. You looked in Carmy and Nat’s direction, the two of them subtly shaking their heads. Your eyes found Mikey’s again a little unnerved by the look in his eyes, “They were just on the floor so I’ll just go wash them off real qui-.”

The sound of palms slamming against the table cut off your explanation causing you to flinch where you were standing, eyes still glued to Mikey, “Sorry Baby, I’m sorry,” his hands raised in a placating gesture. “Just hand me the forks alright, don't needa wash ‘em off,” You gulped your head nodding slowly as you took the few steps in Mikey’s direction. He carefully took them from your grip, a mocking smile pulling at his lips.

You gave him a small nod quickly retreating to your seat. You shuffled your chair in Stevie helping to push the back of it. All was silent for a moment as everyone looked at each other, you doing everything in your power to avoid anyone’s eyes. A quiet laugh broke the silence followed a whispered “Of fucking course.”

Mikey’s eyes snapped back to Lee eyes zeroing in on the older man, “What did you just say?” The question sounded more like a demand to your ears. Lee laughed again shrugging his shoulders turning his own eyes to glare at Mikey, “I said of course she’s gonna fucking do what you say the girl has no fucking backbone.”

An echo of “Lee,” and “What the fuck,” could be heard from both Richie and Cicero, one trying to the diffuse the situation, the other not settling for the unwarranted disrespect thrown at you. Your head shot up a frown decorating your features eyes locking on Carmy’s as he shook his a head a plea for you to ignore it and not further feed into the chaos

You ignored Carmy turning in your chair to face Lee, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean Lee?” Stevie’s hand reached up to lightly pat your shoulder trying to calm you down before aggressively being shrugged off.

Lee faced you with a sardonic smile pressing into his lips “Is somebody gonna tell her? Do I have to tell her?” He looked around the table looking for anyone to take the reins from him, “I’m sorry that nobodies honest with you sweetheart, but you’re just a glorified lap dog.” He shrugged his shoulders as if in apology, “Just a bitch he keeps on a leash.”

Your mouth opened a little bit confused as to how this conversation had become a personal attack on you. Everyone at the table had brought forth different reactions after that revelation, anyone who knew Mikey knew he didn’t take kindly to disrespect thrown your way. You felt a foot nudge yours under the table taking you away from the ensuing chaos. You turned to Sugar who was focused on the scene in front of her too worried about Mikey to be paying attention to you. You felt the nudge again, eyes finding Carmen's eyebrows raised in a silent question, eyes searching your face to catch any remaining emotions, you smoothed out the frown on your face sending him a small nod to let him know you were fine.

The two of you were drawn back to the argument before you as the two men began berating each other again, voices growing louder by the second. You watched Mikey’s face lose any sort of emotion as Lee took a shot at his drug use. You felt your heart squeeze in your chest at Mikey’s reaction, you couldn’t lie you thought both men were being extremely childish but you hated how that was one of the things people latched onto when purposely trying to hurt Mikey.

The table remained silent; the only sound filling the room was the ticking of a clock in the background, everyone doing their best to not cause any reasons to incite more violence. The anxiety caused you to bounce your leg up and down unsure as to where the rest of this night was going, you felt a foot gently tap the toe of your shoe, something Carmy used to do whenever you needed reassurance that everything would be okay and other forms of physical contact were impossible.

You watched as Mikey pawned Pete’s fork from its set place, an uproar going around the table pleading with Mikey. You sat there silently watching the scene if 10 other people hadn’t already gotten through to Mikey, you were sure and 11th voice joining the mix would be completely useless at this point.

Sugar’s voice cut through the chaos attention zeroed in on Mikey, “Michael. Please don’t do this.” You watched as Mikey focused his attention on Sugar, “I love you.” Being her final plea as Mikey seemed to be weighing his options. The discourse between the two continued as everybody watched with bated breath waiting to see what the next move would be.

Steve’s unwarranted giggle broke Michael’s focus, his rush of apologies being brushed off by Mikey all in the name of fun. Cicero decided he might be the one to finally get through to Mikey playing his hand at mediator. You watched Mikey’s erratic behavior in silence, you weren’t usually privy to this side of Mikey, never being in town long enough to catch one of his episodes. It scared you, and it wasn’t necessarily Mikey that was scaring you but knowing that his switch could be flipped in such a timely manner that had you worrying about his safety.

The argument being nowhere near resolved as Lee’s constant instigating kept fueling the fire. Mikey’s sudden movement to stand up caused your heart to race, you honestly couldn’t give two shits about Lee’s wellbeing, your only concern was Mikey and what was going through his head at that moment.

You held your head in your hands that were propped up on the table by your elbows, the impending headache beginning to make an appearance. The animal noises coming from Mikey’s direction doing nothing to ease the ache behind your eyes. Doing your best to drown out Lee’s constant attack on Mikey’s character.

The clapping around the table drawing your head up as Donna danced into the dining room, you felt so exhausted you couldn’t even muster up a fake smile to appease her. “What did I miss?” Donna laughed as she made her way to her seat, a quiet “nothing” being her answer. “I missed something,” she said while sitting in her designated spot.

Donna’s eyes met yours, letting out another laugh “Jesus you look fucking miserable Baby. I definitely missed something.” You let out a small chuckle forcing your lips into a pathetic smile, you hand coming up to play with your own fork that was sat on the place mat, “Nothing Mama D, just Lee being a fucking cunt.”

The table fell quiet any hope for a somewhat peaceful family dinner squandered by your remark. All eyes flocked to Donna as she let out a full belly laugh, hand coming down to hit the table. The same hand moving up to point at you, “Now that’s fucking funny Baby.” A shit eating grin stretching across your face, Carmy letting out an exasperated sigh at his mom feeding into your antics.

“Uh, Stevie, Stevie’s about to say grace, Ma.” Mikey interjected trying to stir Christmas dinner back on his rightful course, Donna looked appeased eyes happily finding Steve’s figure as she waited for him to begin. A small back and forth between Mikey and Stevie ensued before that latter began his prayer.

“Um..Hey. Uh.. that we’re all…” Michelle’s laugh interrupting her partner causing you to laugh but quickly stopping at the soft pinch on your thigh earned from Sugar. You fell silent as you listened to Stevie give what seemed more like an awkward ramble rather than a prayer.

You could feel Carmy’s eyes darting across your figure as Stevie gave his explanation of what he thought the seven fishes symbolized. “I think that spending time and using that time on the people that we love is how we show them that we love them.” You had looked up in that moment, eyes connecting with Carmy’s piercing blue ones. Neither of you gave into the urge to look away, instead drinking each other in like two plants feeling the first drop of rain after a drought.

Your attention both drawn away by Donna’s quiet sniffles a chorus of praises sent in her direction in order to calm her aching heart.

“You okay?” Natalie’s question causes you to flop back in your chair, eyes clenching shut. You knew all Nat had was good intentions and would always be the first one to put Donna’s mental well-being first, but you also knew what it felt like to feel so overstimulated that those two measly would send you in a downward spiral.

“Do you know how much I fucking hate it when you ask me that? Do I not look okay Natalie?” Donna’s mood shifted just as quickly as it had been the whole day. Her unknown limit was reached in the span of a minute.

“Not really.” Michelle’s subtle shade drew a hardly restrained laugh out of you, “Oh, fuck you Michelle.” Donna snapped before setting her sights on you, “Is something funny Baby? Hmm?” The question causes the lingering smile to immediately drop your back going straight against the chair, your head quickly shaking back and forth throat clearing before answering Donna, “No ma’am.” You admitted head still on a swivel to ease Donna’s agitation.

You glanced at Carmy, his whole being sunken in as he looked at you as if your existence was exhausting him at this moment. Regardless of Carmen’s look you know your mom would’ve crucified your ass for walking into Donna Berzatto’s house and feeling comfortable enough to disrespect her not only to her face, but with a bunch of her peers around.

“Are you motherfuckers okay?” Donna continued on letting her subdued rage out the table silent so as to not enrage her any further. “Fuck you!” The smashing of glass as the plate hit the ground causing you to flinch, leg knocking into Carmy’s from the sudden noise, his knee tapping yours twice to reassure you everything would be fine.

Donna made her exit while berating Sugar, who sat there speechless unaware of why her need to make sure her mom was well was taken as a personal attack. Lee’s unprovoked comment about Donna’s tirade irritating you along with Michelle’s comment about it being her worst moment.

It was funny to you how each and everyone sitting at this table would drag themselves here every year. To sit in Donna’s house, to eat Donna’s food. To reap the rewards of the countless hours of Donna’s hard work, only to dismiss her because she had become so overstimulated the only reaction she knew to give was unadulterated rage.

You saw Mikey’s hand move before the fork flew across the table narrowly missing Lee’s head. The older man jumping up no longer tolerating the eldest Berzatto’s antics, Mikey following suit the clattering of the dishes loud as he threw his side of the table. The two men trying to force themselves out of the arms of the people holding them back seemingly ready to tear each other apart.

Silence fell upon the room as a loud crash was heard, the screeching of tires following after. You stood up from your seat mouth dropping open at the Mercedes Benz now sitting in the dining room. Mikey’s voice screaming at Donna to open the door as Sugar tightly grasped your arm lingering on the table, trying to ground herself. The two of you are the only remaining guests still sitting down. Your eyes followed Carmy’s as he stared blankly at the fork lodged into a cannoli.

Your head was pounding at this point, the small headache from earlier now feeling more like a migraine. You slipped your arm from Sugar’s grasp removing yourself from the dining room table as quietly as you could, you quickly walked to the front door. Every bone in your body was screaming at you to walk out that door and not come back, to protect your own peace. You plopped down on the porch step head resting against your knees, as much as you wanted to leave, your heart wouldn’t allow you to leave the Berzatto siblings to this mess alone.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home with us?” Sugar asked one final time as her and Pete were standing in the open doorway. “Pete will take you to the airport in a couple of hours.” You smiled pulling Sugar into a hug, the two of you lingering in the other’s embrace a much needed hug after the day you had.

You pulled back, placing a kiss against her cheek, “Get home Nat, I’ll have Mikey drop me off.” You could tell she was ready to protest but Pete grabbed her elbow gaining her attention, “She’s right you need rest.” You nodded in agreement with Pete, happy that Nat had found someone who would always put her first.

“Listen to Pete Nat, I promise I’ll be fine,” You gave her hand a squeeze the uncertainty still clinging to her features before she let out an exhausted sigh head nodding as she pulled you into one last quick hug. “Call me as soon as you get home okay?” It was your turn to nod, urging the two of them out the door before closing and locking it behind them.

You leaned your head against the cool surface of the door, you had no desire to sit on a plane for four hours, but you also had no desire to extend your stay in Chicago for longer than needed. Sighing you made your way into the kitchen to make sure all the appliances were turned off before flipping off the lights and making your way to the stairs.

The closing of a door caught your attention, your eyes shooting up and landing on Carmy’s tired face, the bags under his eyes seeming to have darkened from the stress of the day. He stopped in his tracks looking at you as well, eyes not blinking for a moment, “You’re still here?” His question caused you to frown confused at the hostile question.

His eyes darted across your face, throat clearing, “No, I uh didn’t mean it like that. Just thought you would’ve been gone by now.” You nodded understanding where he was coming from. “I’m actually looking for Mikey, have you seen him? He’s supposed to take me to the airport.”

Carmy felt his jaw clench at the mention of Mikey, he was getting real fucking tired of hearing about the two of you together. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much but he hadn’t expected to be spending his first Christmas home in a while worrying about Mikey’s role in your life.

“Uh, Mikey took off a bit ago. I don’t think he’ll be home anytime soon.” You felt your eyes instinctively close a tired sigh escaping through your lips. The last thing you wanted to do was head to the airport this early and wait for your flight. You had hoped you’d be able to catch a quick nap before heading out.

“I could, ahem, I could drive you.” You watched as Carmy ran a hand through his hair, eyes looking everywhere but you, “I mean only if you want though you know?” You felt a small smile tug at your lips, Carmy's awkward behavior endearing to you, you could tell he felt self-conscious about even offering up such an idea, and you understood, it was kind of out of left field for two people who hadn’t been on the best of terms.

“Honestly Carmy I would fucking love that,” You smiled in his direction thankful that you could count on one of the Berzatto brothers. “Um do you think I can take a shower though, kind of just wanna wash the day off.” You gave a small chuckle to try and alleviate any tension your request may have caused.

You watched Carmy’s head nod rapidly, words failing him in that moment. He turned heading to his childhood room expecting you to follow in his footsteps. You entered behind him, the room feeling impossibly smaller with the two of you now taking up space. You watched Carmy frantically move around the room returning to your side with a stack of clothes in his hand, you smiled gratefully taking the clothes from his hand before making your way towards the en suite.

Carmy watched as you closed the door behind you, hands moving to run down his face as his brain tried to piece together how after everything that had gone down today, you were taking a shower in his childhood bathroom.

You stepped out of the shower quickly wrapping the fluffy towel that you had found under the sink around your body. Your hand reached up to wipe the steam off the mirror, you stood there for a moment taking in your appearance grateful to have taken a shower but a little nervous about spending time in close quarters with Carmy after being apart for so long.

Your eyes turned to the pile of clothes sitting atop the countertop, you took inventory of the items. A white tee shirt that you just knew hugged Carmy deliciously, sweats that were sure to be baggy on your frame, a pair of socks and boxers you hoped had been washed prior to being offered to you.

The lotion bottle sitting next to the sink caught your attention, not giving it a second thought as you reached for Carmy’s signature scent lathering it on your body and quickly getting dressed. You exited the bathroom throwing your damp towel in the hamper next to the bathroom door. Taking a step into the room your eyes found Carmy sitting on his twin sized bed, legs propped up as a book rested on his knees, highlighter clenched between his teeth as he raptly read his book.

It wasn’t the position that kept your focus though. It was the tank top that showed off his toned biceps, shoulders sculpted just right. His signature gold chain complimenting the white tank top. You did your best to stop staring, eyes skating across his ink covered skin as an excuse to keep checking him out.

“You’re staring.” Your eyes shot to Carmy’s face, his eyes still stuck on his book. You cleared your throat gaining his attention, hand gesturing to the door behind you, “I hope you don’t mind I kind of used your shower gel…and your lotion.” Carmy nodded listening to you speak, “I drew the line at your 2in1 Head and Shoulders though, that was a real disappointment Carmen.” You sent him a teasing smile as you made your way to his bedroom door.

“Wait where are you going?” You stopped looking back at Carmy confusion washing over your face, “I was just gonna nap on the couch, I don’t want to intrude in your space any longer,” You calmly explained. Carmy stared at you for a few minutes, bright eyes drilling holes into your own, you watched as he moved to the opposite side of the bed before patting the spot he had just been in “Just uh, nap here okay?” You felt your heart rate pick up at the gesture, a little annoyed that basic human decency had your heart trying to race out of your chest.

Carmy raised his eyes in your direction waiting for you to take the spot. You quickly shuffled over, adjusting the pillow so you could lay down comfortably. You laid down on your right side, head facing Carmy, studying his face as he read. Watching as every few minutes he would highlight a sentence he probably found particularly interesting. His eyes so focused on what was in front of him you almost wondered if his body remembered how to blink. Your eyes traced down the side of his face, gliding down his neck and landing on his gold chain that caused your body to warm, your tongue peeking out unconsciously to lick your lips.

Continuing your path across Carmy’s shoulder your hand reached up to gently caress his ‘773’ tattoo. Index finger tracing every number before making its way down to what appeared to be a measuring cup holding the world.

Carmy’s head shot in your direction at the first touch of your soft finger against his skin, he watched your finger carefully tracing the ink lining his arms. He saw the concentration on your face doing his best to hold back a sigh at the feel of your skin against his. He had to convince himself to not reach out and push the hair out of your face to get a clear view of what you looked like at this angle. Carmy allowed you to continue your investigation, his own eyes darting across the visible side of your face, eyes falling to your pulse point imagining what it would feel like to place his hand there. His eyes were drawn to the medium sized ‘B’ in a typewriter-like font painted in the space behind your ear.

Carmy shakily reached out hand cupping the left side of your neck as his thumb gently ran back and forth over the single letter, “Baby?” You looked up at Carmy eyes meeting his as he tapped the ink behind your ear to signify what he was questioning. You gulped feeling the tension in the air as his eyes searched back and forth between your own.

“It could stand for Berzatto if you wanted it to.” You weren’t sure where the confidence to allow that whisper to leave your lips came from, but you weren’t going to pretend you regretted it.

You watched Carmy’s Adam's apple bob up and down. The grip of his hand tightening against your neck momentarily as he coughed before removing his hand. Eyes leaving yours as he shut the book still laying in his lap and placed it on the bedside table, “Ahem, It's late, get some rest I’ll wake you when it's time to leave.” You were given no time to interject as Carmy turned off his bedside lamp and turned so his back was facing you.

You sighed eyes now piercing the space between his shoulder blades. Leaning forward you pressed a small gentle kiss to the bare skin of his shoulder. “Goodnight Carmen. Sweet dreams.” You turned as well, not even being able to face his back.

Carmy’s breath caught in his throat, your lips feeling as if they had been branded into his skin. He took the chance adjusting his own body around, the size of his childhood bed causing the two of you to be pressed flushed together. The soft gasp you let out causing his heart to race his mind going a mile a minute, thoughts doing their best to talk him out of whatever the hell he thought he was doing right now.

His arm found its way around your waist pulling you impossibly closer to him, your backside pretty much in his lap at this point. Neither of you said a word. Carmy's face made its home in the crook of your neck. The faint scent of your lavender and vanilla perfume lulling him into a dreamlike state.

a/n: goodness did i hate the first draft of this chapter : ( and i still hate this draft, but the carmy x reader fluff at the end made me feel better lol. the family dinner truly killed me though and i’m so glad to be done with the christmas arc. i hope you all enjoy please like/reblog/comment or interact in whatever way you feel comfortable. i appreciate you all so much thank you for the support! 💜

idk if this needed to be said or not but this is obviously and AU at this point lol

tag list: @hawkins-2000 @elliesbabygirl @allbark-no-bite @anakinswh0re3005 @rexorangecouny @thecraziestcrayon @fruitcupsworld @nishinoyahhh @lilylovelyxo @ridingthehotmessexpress @noas-ark @jadeittic @hellokittyever @luvr-bunnyy @sxgees @fandomhopped @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @kravitzwhore @chanluuvr @readingwiththereids @chims-kookies @ladygrey03 @ferida-kahlo @wanderlustnightwanderer @how2besalty @armydrcamers @gcidrvsh @fire-treasure-iii @frequentnosebleeder @kailyn-g05 @khena

i hope i got everyone, strikethrough means i couldn’t tag : (

[frogtanii]

iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

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the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

[heyhihellowhatsup0]

Hooked On Your Feelings - Chapter One (FWB! Tom Holland x Reader)

Prologue

Warnings: Some angst, language, eventual smut in future chapters, fluff

Word Count: 4155

Summary: After a bad breakup, making an agreement with your womanizing neighbor, Tom to be friends with added benefits and no strings attached seemed like the perfect idea. Until things become messy, emotions caused your agreement to crumble.

A/N:   I have been dying to post more so the day is finally here! I am so happy everyone has given my such amazing and sweet feedback! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Needless to say, this chapter does have smut! DM me to be tagged and I cannot wait to hear everyone’s thoughts! (Also .gif is not mine. DM me for credit please, I found on google!) Thank you xx -N

You woke up the next morning with your head pounding while the sun hit your eyes as you opened them. Turning on your back you let out a sigh once you realized where you were. The same bed you figured you would be in even though you were hoping it was all a dream and what had happened didn’t actually take place. 

Remaining underneath Tom’s dark and satin sheets since you knew you had nothing on, you pivoted your head upward and saw his eyes opened and staring up at the ceiling. Clearly, neither one of you had any idea how to address what the hell happened between the two of you last night and you certainly weren’t going to be the one to initiate.

Tom licked his lips as he adjusted himself from under the covers. Did he really just sleep with you? Sure, he thought about having that moment with you. Countless times, actually. It was no secret you were breathtakingly beautiful and he always had that fantasy about you. But you were always dating that idiot for whatever reason and Tom always thought you were never into him in that way.

None of it was planned, of course. It just happened. One minute, you were both drinking and just simply there next to each other. The next, Tom and you were stumbling into his bedroom. Laughing in between kisses as you removed one another’s clothes and experiencing what was probably some of the best sex he’d ever had. His entire body was vibrating still from how he had felt and he never in a million years would have even thought you were the least bit interested in him like that. Then again, you were both clearly going through some really weird stuff last night.

You were both vulnerable and feeling things you didn’t want to admit to other people but for some reason, Tom was alright with admitting it to you and you both found a way to get rid of the feeling, even if it was temporary. He didn’t want you to regret it, because he sure as hell didn’t. He certainly wasn’t expecting any of that with you but it was a hell of a night and he was far from complaining about it. He was just worried you regretted it.

A lot could be said in your silence with Tom as you lay there, the both of you now staring up at the ceiling and neither of you were speaking. You couldn’t help but feel a little awkward while you tried to figure out what to say. Do you just thank him for the night and leave? Should you just say you had work and grab your clothes or just maybe not say anything at all? The silence was killing you for a variety of reasons and you were still trying to rack your brain trying to figure out why you initiated the first kiss to begin with. You weren’t drunk at all but for some reason you just wanted it. You wanted him. And in that moment last night, you were glad he wanted you too.

Tom cleared his throat, the stillness between you both was causing a rise in his anxiousness, “Well...we had sex last night,” he stated the obvious as plainly as possible. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“Yeah,” you answered in an obvious tone. You held back from your laughter as you pushed your hair out of your face, “I should probably go,” you told him as you tried to cover yourself up with the sheets even though you already knew Tom saw you naked last night. There were no more secrets between you both. Clearly.

Tom sat up from the bed and began looking for his sweatpants to throw on before he started to help you find your clothes across the bedroom floor. He handed you your t-shirt as he politely turned away while you changed, “Do you want coffee or something?” he offered, something he would never offer another girl who stayed the night.

Offering any girl any type of breakfast or anything of the sort automatically made them believe Tom wanted them to stay longer. To go out on a date or to get a phone call from him later. Commitment. So he always avoided it and usually had you kick them out if they couldn’t get the hint. But obviously you were different being that you were a friend who he just so happened to sleep with. He was grateful you were there with him and he’d never dismiss you as quickly. He cared about you in the same ways you cared about him. Neighborly love. Who he happened to be attracted to and vice versa.

“Nah, I’m okay. I have some back at my place,” you answered casually as you grabbed your leggings as Tom handed you one of your shoes, “Thanks,” you said to him with a small smile as you tried not to act like you were rushing out of there.

You tried to make yourself presentable as Tom began to walk you out of the bedroom, unsure if he should thank you for the night or not. You turned to him with a sarcastic smile and pointed towards your messy waves, “Wow, I guess this officially makes me a notch on your belt, huh?” you tried to joke to make it less weird between you two.

“For the record, you are not a notch or anything like that, Y/N,” Tom said sternly to make sure you knew that last night was actually a night he didn’t regret at all, “I uh...actually had a pretty good time,” he felt his cheeks tinge a hint of pink as he admitted that to you. Another thing he knew to never say to a girl he brought home. Ever.

Making a face at him, you breathed out a small laugh while you nodded your head in agreement, “Yeah, I did too,” you told him honestly.

The two of you just stood in the kitchen by Tom’s door for a minute. Waiting for the other person to say something but neither of you did. You rocked back and forth on your heels as Tom slid his hands into his pockets, “This isn't weird, is it?” you questioned in a light tone.

“What? No!?” Tom chuckled nervously. He crossed his arms in front of his chest in an attempt to be nonchalant while the elephant of the deed you two had done remained between you both, “Wh-why-why would it be weird?” he stammered.

Leaning in a bit closer towards him, you narrowed your eyes in on Tom, “We had sex,” you whispered as if somebody else was in the room and could overhear your entire conversation.

Tom copied your motion and leaned in in the exact same way, “I don’t think it’s a secret now,” he teased you with a playful smirk, making you laugh as he pulled away. He gave you a nudge against your shoulder, “It’s only weird if we make it weird, right?” he reminded himself.

Lots of friends sleep together and continue to be friends. This was nothing out of the ordinary. Besides, you were more neighborly than friends. So it was a completely different situation than what typical friends had dealt with in the past. Tom was right, you reminded yourself.

“No weirdness on my end,” you told him with a smile as you held out your palm as if you were swearing in a courtroom, “Promise,” you added with a playful wink.

Tom smiled back, leaning forward to get the door for you but you accidentally mistook his gesture for a hug and wrapped your arm around his neck. You cussed under your breath at your embarrassingly stupid moment while you apologized profusely to Tom as he tried to save the awkwardness by giving you a half-assed hug in return. You tried to hide the wincing your eyes were making from the hug but you knew he noticed. Of course he noticed.

Looking down at the floor because you were now too embarrassed to look in his direction, you said your goodbyes as Tom promised to swing by this week with his usual pizza while you began walking faster towards your apartment. But you didn’t want Tom to think you were that flustered by your interactions that you quite literally ran away to hide out. 

You finally got inside your door and realized everything remained untouched since you had kicked Justin out last night. The bottle of wine was still open and sitting on the counter, the television was still on in the living room and there were still a bunch of clothes he had left behind that you needed to desperately get rid of.

Everything in your apartment remained frozen in time while you felt like you jumped lightyears ahead of it from your one night spent with Tom. It was a strange feeling as you walked over to turn the television off but you didn’t feel angry like you had felt last night. You weren’t exactly over the events that took place with Justin but you were on the path to accepting it and you weren’t sure if Tom had something to do with it or not.

There was no denying that you were still hurting from everything. It was still a fresh wound and you had felt so betrayed from it all, you weren’t sure how you would bounce back from it or if you even would. You never dealt with a breakup as ugly as this one so it was a new feeling for you that you were still trying to wrap your head around.

And even though when you were with Tom for the brief time that you were, it felt like it was almost exactly what you needed last night. You didn’t hold back from him and you were comfortable enough around Tom telling him exactly what you needed. Letting your frustrations and anger out on him and Tom letting his feelings out on you led to an explosion between the two of you that surprisingly left you possibly wanting more.

Wanting more from Tom.

Changing into a fresh outfit from last night, you continued to replay the night over and over again in your mind. It was unexpected to say the least, but not in a bad way. Not by any means. If you thought it was bad or awkward, you probably wouldn’t be standing in front of your closet still thinking about the things Tom made you feel.

He made you forget about the drama, if even for one night. But he still managed to make you think that you didn’t need Justin anymore. Maybe you didn’t need anyone right now other than a simple fix here and there to make you feel good. Maybe something without any strings attached was what you needed right now in order to move on and numb your pain for a bit.

You knew Tom was dealing with his own commitment issues and neither one of you were looking for anything complicated. It may not be the best idea in the world to be thinking about something like this but clearly neither one of you knew how to be alone at the moment. You didn’t really want to be fully alone anyway, and you were both comfortable enough with each other where you could be honest about this stuff. Maybe Tom was right, there shouldn’t be any weirdness between you.

Maybe some great sex and not an ounce of attachment was the elixir to the chaos Justin caused for you. No formalities. No planned out, stuffy dates. No mingling with friends and their significant others. No justin. And certainly no types of feelings that would get you in a mess you clearly weren’t looking for right now.

Just good fucking sex. And...it didn’t hurt that your neighbor might be looking for the same type of thing that you were. At least you had hoped.

And when the thoughts and memories and god, downright blissful remembrances of his touch kept invading your mind, just standing there in your apartment thinking about it wasn’t enough. The anxiousness vibrated through your body and you knew what you might be needing from down the hall.

You pulled on a new t-shirt before grabbing your keys. You had never done anything like this before, what if Tom said no? Maybe it should just remain a one time thing between the two of you. Your nerves were attacking you relentlessly as you locked your door, slipping your key ring around your finger and securing it tightly.

But if Tom could do things like this, what was stopping you? The pure rush of anxiety and adrenaline...but it was stupidly guiding you right back to his door. This was insane. Completely stupid. He’d never agree to this. 

Your mind was telling you to turn around and go back home. But that side of you that you never let come out was saying ‘fuck it. Have some fun for once. You’ve been through enough heartbreak and this is something for you.

The safe way got you hurt. More than once. And as you lifted your hand to tap your knuckles against the door, you knew you were done playing it smart. 

Barely getting through the first knock, the door swung open. You let out a yelp as you practically hit Tom in the face while he almost walked right into you. The two of you running into each other as your bodies slightly crashed into one another.

“Oh shit!” Tom exclaimed as he pulled back with an awkward laugh. He ran a hand through his still messy curls, “I was actually on my way to see you,” he admitted, pressing his lips together as he looked at you in the doorframe.  

You reached up and crashed your lips against Tom’s without warning, “Let’s make a deal,” you told him through your hungry kiss as you began to feel Tom start to kiss you back. He moaned into you as he captured your top lip in between his.

“W-what?” Tom mumbled against your lips once again, bringing you inside of his place as he kicked the door shut. He was surprised this was happening so suddenly. Especially since he was just about to be on his way over to your place to ask you for just about the same thing. He knew it didn’t feel right when you left this morning and it was because he wanted to feel this way again. With you. 

“I can still help with your horrible conquests but...in the meantime, we make up for our shit love lives with damn good sex,” you explained while catching your breath from your last kiss. You stood in the living room with Tom’s hands resting on your hips with lust for you in his eyes. 

He pulled back from his embrace with a quirked brow, “You’re serious,” he noted as he smirked at you. He was honestly surprised considering he never saw this side to you. You were always with the same guy for as long as you lived here. It was strange and new to him to see you wanting something that he did.

“No strings attached, of course,” you added. The words sounded ridiculous but you ignored that thought. 

“I...christ, Y/N. I can’t say I haven’t thought about having endless mindblowing sex with you,” he said as his eyes rolled over you. 

“Mindblowing?” you chuckled, “Someone’s cocky,” you teased. 

“Rude. But back to the point...are you sure about this?” Tom got serious. His focus on you as he stepped back to give you some space. He didn’t want to be overbearing or act like he was trying to just get you back in bed. Even though that was basically what he was doing regardless of the situation.

The bottom line was, he had an amazing time with you. And unlike the random girls he brought home, you knew him. There was an understanding between you and him that he knew you got. And he could be open with you by saying he didn’t want anything serious. He wouldn’t need to find a way to get rid of you in the morning. He could distract himself from the nonsense he would think about while ravishing you in the process. It was the perfect idea.

You took a moment. Wondering again if you were just crazy to suggest this. But the way his brown eyes were studying you, it just felt right. 

“I’m sure if you are,” you finally answered. 

Tom was silent but it didn’t take him long to make his mind up. Taking a few steps forward, he picked you up in one swift motion and brought you over towards the couch where you straddled his hips before going in for another kiss. His hand was already slipping underneath your shirt and up your back as he helped you remove it along with his, tossing it towards the empty side of the couch you weren’t using.

Helping you out of your leggings, you found your way back towards Tom’s lap and grinded your hips against him in between your kisses. The cravings you both shared for one another grew wilder as you continued, “We’re really doing this?” you muttered against his lips with another gasp as you helped release him out of his already bulging boxers.

“Think so,” Tom laughed against your skin, trailing his lips down to your neck as he pushed your hair to one side, “Unless you want to stop?” he pulled back for a minute, not wanting to overstep if you were having second thoughts.

Biting your bottom lip, your hand went down to Tom’s hardened length and ran along it. Rubbing the pre-cum seeping from his tip as you watched Tom throw his head back against the couch with a low moan, “Does it look like I want to stop?” you asked him with a playful grin.

“Fuck, Y/N…” Tom hissed as his hands gripped your sides to release some of his frustration. He breathed out a laugh as his fingers went to your clit, beginning to circle you slowly, “Let me give you what you came here for. Hm, darling?” his voice grew raspy as he looked you in the eye, his pupils black the longer he waited.

Your eyes went down towards Tom’s waist, gasping as you watched him begin to tease your entrance with his tip. Cussing under your breath, you grabbed onto his shoulders tightly as you braced yourself for his impact. Tom pressed his hand against the small of your back as he waited for you to let him know it was okay. You nodded your head silently as you gave him an amorous look, “I want you, Tom,” you whispered lowly.

That was all it took before Tom guided himself into you. Going slow as he took his time to let you get used to him while you clenched around him. You lowered yourself deeper as he filled your core up entirely while you began to roll your hips against his slowly, letting out a moan as Tom hissed against your ear while twitching inside of you.

“Mmm, Y/N,” Tom breathed out a moan as he matched his thrusts with yours. His lips parted, moaning against your neck while he pressed open, sloppy kisses against your skin as he continued to rub your clit with his opposite hand, “You feel so fucking wet,” he praised you breathlessly.

“Keep touching me, Tom,” you cried out to him while you started to ride him faster. Even though you and Tom had just started these escapades, you certainly felt comfortable enough to tell him exactly what you wanted to make you feel good. Pressing the pad of his thumb against your swollen bud, your eyes clenched shut while you pushed yourself deeper into him, “Shit! Yes, right there,” you reassured him with another moan.

Guiding you down on his cock, Tom felt his entire body tense as soon as his lips met yours once again. His breaths getting heavy like yours as your name fell from his lips while he watched you bounce up and down on him, making him feel absolutely incredible as you continued to moan in his ear.

You felt your body beginning to tense as you kept going. Everything inside of you was aching for a release and Tom was giving it to you without a doubt. Rocking your hips into him more, you knew you were getting closer to your edge and you could feel Tom about to release as well.

Opening your eyes, you cupped Tom’s face with your palms and gave him one last fiery kiss. Your tongues finding each other wildly and tangled up before you both finally reached your highs together as you whimpered Tom’s name while you finally let go for him.

Tom cussed as he unraveled from beneath you. His body writhing while he watched you bury your face into the crook of his neck, muffling the sound of your moans against him. The vibrations from your sounds set him off further while he continued to reach his bliss, still thrusting into you while you rode out your tremor together.

“Holy….” Tom trailed off with a heavy breath, finally slowing down while his back hit the couch as he tried to pull himself together. He saw you pull your face away from his body, giving him the same exact look that he knew he had on his face, “Umm...yeah, holy fuck?” he laughed.

“That just about covers it,” you agreed as you kissed his cheek with a smile. You pushed Tom’s now damp and sweaty curls out of his face to capture his lips while you brought him closer to you, “So we have a deal?” you confirmed as Tom kissed you back.

Tom chuckled as his hands fell to your sides, his thumb creating small circles against you while he pursed his lips, “You’re really serious about this? No strings? No titles? Just like...just sex?” he clarified, still trying to wrap his head around you asking for this. It felt like a godsend and that it was too good to be true. Why couldn’t more girls be like you?

Tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, Tom’s eyes went from your eyes, to your lips, and back as he sat there admiring you looking this way. You looked so effortlessly beautiful to him and even just as a friend, he was lucky to have you in his life. But now that he had you in other ways, you felt almost intoxicating to him. He couldn’t understand why that piece of garbage cheated on you. Tom had done some shady things to girls in the past and he didn’t see himself in ways others might but he knew he would have never done what that guy did.

You nodded as you turned your head to the side, “Do we have a deal, Tom?” you asked again, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Justin really did a number on you, huh?” Tom teased with a chuckle.

“We’re not talking about him,” you shushed Tom. Pressing your palm against his chest, you gave him a stern expression, “No talk about exes or...your conquests. We do this,” you gestured towards you straddling his legs before looking back at him, “Whenever we...feel like it. I guess,” even you weren’t sure of the rules but you figured you could make them your own anyway.

There was a pause as you quickly felt like you should add more, “We’re friends. Nothing more, nothing less,” you told him, wanting to be clear of at least one title throughout this whole pact the two of you were about to agree to, “Friends who...happen to jump each other’s bones?” you stated despite it sounding like a question.

Tom chuckled at your timid expression. His hands still at your sides as he leaned up and captured your lips again. “Deal.”

Taglist @osterfield-holland-andcompany @giuls-394 @missmulti @hazmyheart @lauras-collection @iamapersonwholikesunicorns @detroitbydark @mcuassemble @blahhhhhhhaaa @lonikje @beiroviski @ruefulposts @desir-ae @kayla-m1996 @unicorn-princess-1999 @asmilinghopelessromantic @itsjusttor @azaraspirit @whatareyouhidingpeter @when-marvellous-things-happen @mannien @lilostif16 @u-rrose @ninjalex1d @baby-unidorn @astoldbydanid @honey-sea @fallingforfics @lulueliott24 @mikalakat @babebenhardy @coni-martina @captainemrys @mktravelbuggie @underoosmarvel @pluckypete @hollandfanficlove @lookalivefrosty @lightmelikeacigarette @msmarvel-19  @parker-holland-osterfield @thwip-it-real-good @shirukitsune @justanotherusername80 @dangerdolns @jwolfesblog @jjayyc  @ifilosemyselfagain @axisnpalma @londonspidey @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @bookgirlunicorn @kfcyum @thenoddingbunny-blog @buzzbuzzitsmeagainbitch @herondale-snow-carstairs​ @marvelobsessedteenager @unlimitedd​ @dramaholic18​ @softholand​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @emotionally-unstable23​ @quackeroos​ @unbelievableholland​ @holyhumorliteraturelight​ @spideyyeet​ @katiekinzs​ @fanficparker​ @ifntelyinspirit​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @xguardgirlx​ @selfcarecap​ @localfangirlx​ @xxpeachyxo​ @hazardosterfield​ @xstarbae​ @justanotherusername80​ @photoshopart15​ @spiderbibby​ @the-fandom-life-forever​ @jannine00742​ @parachutepantswedgie-blog​ @decadentwastelandtrash​ @anythingthaticareabout​ @outshineallthestars​ @captainamirica​ @thehauntingofmymind​ @watermelonsponge​ @sinisterspidey​ @adayasgeorgia​ @obliviatevamps​ @damnrancidchicken​ @lolooo22​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​ @spideyspeaches​ @hollandprkr​ @peachitofu​ @quacksonholland​ @itscaminow​ @ohtobelovedbyyou​ @diffind0​ @tomhollandsslut​ @chipot-lol​ s @outerbanks-fics​ @agustdowney​ @305weasley​  @shrutipatel08

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~`Just to see you smile, I’d do anything. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung x Oc

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Do you ever truly know what someone is feeling?

You could spend decades , breathing the same air, hands held , your fingers brushing ....connected physically and even mentally but a person’s emotions, they’re hidden away. 

You only ever know what they’re willing to show .

And yet, 

all of us build relationships, convinced that we know exactly what the other person will feel when we act a certain way. Buying her flowers will make happy....visiting him at work will take away that little bit of stress.

But sometimes, what we think someone feels, may not be what they truly feel.

And that’s when your actions, well intended actions..... end up with disastrous consequences. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So....last night...” Jungkook’s teasing voice did nothing to ease the pounding in my head.

“I do believe you promised not to tease me about it if I drank two glasses of water, which I did by the way.” I told him firmly, trying to bring the words on my planner into focus as i squinted. Three meeting. Each two hours long. 

kill me now. 

“I wanted to ask HR to give you the day off but you have quite a schedule today. “ He said casually,  leaning over me to peer into the planner . I glanced at his wrist resting on the table, the expensive rolex showing that it was a little past 9. 

“ We’re planning out the Christmas campaign first and I have a meeting with Taehyung’s team in the afternoon so we can go over the contract see if they have any requirements and then the social media team in the evening at four to discuss promos and revamping the website.” I glanced up at him. 

He gave me a smile before casually leaning down, lightly gripping my chin and tilting my face up. I felt the brush of his lips against mine, fleeting and gentle. 

‘You’re beautiful.” He smiled. 

I blinked.

And then took a deep breath.

“Your wife...” I said softly. “ I saw her today.” 

Jungkook went completely still at that. 

“She was waiting in the lobby on my way up. I didn’t know who you were married to and I was a little shocked and also little upset because....” I glanced at him. “ She was my best friend in college. “

Jungkook swore. 

“Fuck.. I told her to stay the fuck away from my company. Did she say something to you?” 

i shook my head.

“I didn’t greet her because I wasn’t sure if she remembered me. And I wasn’t sure if i was remembering her right. i didn’t know she was your wife till i heard someone mention it in the elevator on my way up. Did you know that she and i knew each other?” 

Jungkook looked just a little guilty.

“When you first joined the company, she saw your resume on my cvomputer. told me a lot about you. She remembers you. Fondly. She wanted to come meet you but...things happened.  “ He shrugged.

Things like infidelity and divorces . 

“Ahh...” I smiled. “ Tell me i wasn’t another way to get back at your ex wife, Jeon Jungkook ssi...” 

He made a noise of protest.

“no... No of course not Christ...it’s just...I’ll admit she made me curious about you. She spoke of you being spontaneous and fun and wild and I’d seen you as this demure, elegant woman in the office. i was curious. I wanted to know which one was the real you. “

“Were you curious before she cheated....or after?”

“ Jang Mi...this isn’t what it looks like .. I’m done with her. She fucked my best buddy and ruined my fucking life...” He sounded pained. 

I frowned. 

“It’s hard to believe she would do something like that. The Aera i remember had a very strong moral compass.” 

“Yeah well, apparently, you can live whole entire lives with someone and never really know the person. Listen, do we really have to talk about my ex wife?” He asked, eyes shining with discomfort. 

I shrugged.

“I’m not fond of drama. I won’t tangle myself in a relationship that risks hurting a lot of people Jungkook. That’s just not the kind of person I am. I’m sorry.” 

He made a noise of impatience, shaking his head. 

“We won’t be hurting anyone... We have fun together. We like each other. We’re attracted to each other...that’s all that matters....” He said sharply.

“ If we were in our twenties , without kids ....maybe. But that's not how it is now. I have a son, you have a daughter and I think I’m not completely over my marriage yet.” I said softly. 

He froze.

“And i don’t think you’re completely over your wife either.” I smiled.

He glared at me. 

“Ex-wife.” He snarled.

“She makes you feel things, Jungkook. You need to sort that out before you start something new with someone else. I’m only saying this because we’re old enough not to 

He growled and punched the desk. 

“God, how can she keep ruining my life even when she’s out of it.” He muttered, stepping away from me and moving to the door. 

I watched him storm out of my office and bit my lip. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time evening rolled around, I was exhausted. But the day had been productive and I was happy because the contract had been finalized, the theme had been decided and we’d also spent an amazing three hours redesigning the website. Although it wasn’t in my job description I had studied web design in college and the creative department always welcomed my inputs. 

“You’re in a good mood...” Taehyung’s voice was a complete surprise and I turned to him, shocked. He was dressed in a black t shirt and blue jeans and sneakers and looked a whole decade younger. 

I felt affection rise up my throat so fast I nearly choked. 

“What are you doing here?”

“My agent told me you guys were incredibly cooperative today. She also told me you were quite possibly the loveliest woman she’s ever met and that I’m an idiot to have let you go.” He smiled. 

I laughed, shaking my head and my gaze shifted to the small bunch of tiger lilies in his hand. 

I felt warmth bloom in my chest. 

“You remembered.” I said softly, pleased. 

“Thirteen years since our first date.  The lily to my tiger. ” He held the flowers to me and I grinned, pressing the flowers to my chest. 

“Man I feel old.” I muttered.

“You are old.” Tae grinned and i grimaced, before tossing him a glare. . 

“You’re supposed to say I still look as beautiful as i did thirteen years ago.” I said. 

“But you don.t” He grinned impishly. “ You look a billion times  more  beautiful.” 

I felt the atmosphere shift, the air charged with something dangerous and i looked away. Usually, this was when I would laugh and throw my arms around him. Pull him close and press my lips against his , slip my fingers into his t shirt and trace the skin of his back. Feel his hands on my waist as he lifted me up to twirl me around and kiss me just like that. 

How often had we kissed that way? Thirteen years is a long time to count the number of kisses we’d shared. 

We both stayed quiet, looking anywhere but at each other.

“I...there’s a reason I came.” He said finally.

I glanced at him.

“Oh?”

“The lawyer. Ms. Lee she ... recommended a relationship counselor”

I blinked, my breath catching in my throat. 

“Taehyung we’re-”

“Just hear me out. Its not mandatory and it won’t affect the divorce in anyway. its just something the court offers all couples going through a divorce and we’re free to refuse it. “

“Did you?” I asked. 

“Did I what?”

“Refuse it. Did you tell her no?” 

He stared at me. 

“No.” He said finally.

I exhaled sharply.

“Wow.” I whispered, feeling jittery and unbalanced. He sighed and came closer, reaching out to lightly grip my wrists. I let him tug me closer into a hug and held him tight, my heart pounding with anxiety.

“Mia.... I just... I’m not saying we should try to fix this.... relationship.” He said softly, eyes gentle and pleading, “  I just think this whole thing has taken a toll on both of us and maybe we can heal better if we get the help of a professional. Come out of this with closure. Instead of battling guilt and regrets everyday. Just ....it could help us move on. Don’t you think?”

You could never really tell what the other person is feeling. 

I couldn’t tell what Taehyung was feeling right now? 

Hope ?

Hope that we would fix our marriage....

or maybe hope that he would finally move on from me.. Maybe this whole thing was his final attempt to end things with me for good. So he could walk out of my life forever without any lingering guilt or regret. 

I would never know. 

I clung to him harder and somehow the pain of the entire two years we’d been apart, rammed into me at once. 

I choked on a sob. Breathing became difficult and I felt myself gasping for air. 

“Mia?” Taehyung’s panicked voice was the last sane thought that registered. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I can stay the night if you want. I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom . ” Taehyung whispered,  seated on the warm fluffy blanket that he’d managed to dig out of the closet in the spare bedroom. i was already tucked into the bed, fingers clutching the satin lined edges . 

i shook my head.

“I know how much you need your gazillion pillows. Go on... I’ll be fine.”

“i feel terrible. i pushed you into a panic attack.”

I waved off the guilty words. 

“You didn’t . i was already a little frayed and i guess i haven’t really been processing all the stuff between us the way i should have. i just got a little overwhelmed.” 

A panic attack. At the age of 32. The last time i had one I was twenty four. I wanted to crawl into the bed and never resurface. 

Taehyung’s gentle fingers , stroking my cheek brought me out of my own head. 

“I was so scared.” He said softly and my heart ached.

“I’m sorry i scared you.” I said apologetically, gripping his wrists lightly and stroking the skin there with my thumb. 

“I really want to stay. i don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if I go home right now.” He whispered. 

I bit my lips. 

“Okay... but... You need to hug something. To sleep. “ 

He grinned at that. 

“I’m old enough to survive one night without a pillow, Mia .” he chuckled. 

I flushed, sinking deeper into the covers.

“Okay.” 

“You don’t have to worry about the counselor thing. I’ll tell Lee we don’t want to do any-”

“No!!” I said quickly, a lot  louder than I’d intended. 

Taehyung blinked.

“I just... I realized that I haven’t been dealing with any of this...the right way. I’m so confused and disoriented all the time and I .. I don’t mind getting some help. To sort things out. Just for myself you know...without the pressure of trying to fix...well us.” I finished .

Taehyung gave me a wide smile before bending down and kissing my forehead.

“ Okay, Mia mine. Sleep well, and I’ll see you in the morning.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Eight

⚠WARNING: Slight mention of unhealthy coping mechanism.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

You push open the door to the face, the heat from inside warming your cold hands. You walk up to the counter and greet the barista with a smile.

“One jasmine tea and one black coffee please.”

You pay and move so the next customer can order. You scan the cafe, immediately finding Osamu in the same corner he’s always in. As you approach he looks up from the book he’s reading and gives you a sleepy smile.

“Heya, how’re ya doin’?”

You smile but inwardly frown as you take in the darker than normal bags under his eyes and the coffee cups littered on the table. “I’m alright. Were you able to get any sleep last night?”

He gives you a small smile and shrugs his shoulders. The movement is sluggish and you can’t help but tsk.

“Osamu,” you chide quietly.

“Well now ya know my secret,” Osamu replies. He yawns hugely before continuing. “It’s been a few days since I’ve slept so I know I’m due for a crash soon.”

You frown at him as you remove your jacket. “It’s not healthy for you.” He doesn’t respond, save for looking up from his seat with a sleepy smile. You can’t help but feel a smile tug at your lips. “I shouldn’t indulge you but I ordered you a coffee when I came in, let me go grab it.”

“Yer a saint.” You hear behind you. You’re glad you’re facing away from him as you feel a slight blush take over your face. Your tea and his coffee is waiting on the counter for you, the barista giving you an extra smile before you walk back. Osamu’s watching you return to your table, the same dopey look on his face. As sweet and docile as he looks you can’t help the twinge of guilt that shoots through you. Sure he claims he doesn’t sleep but he also stayed up late to talk to you last night and was there for you when you needed someone. So his current state can 100% be blamed on you.

“It’s the least I could do.” You say as you set your cups down and sit. “You’ve bought me tea before, and you helped me last night.”

Osamu waves his hand while sucking down his coffee. You shake your head at his dismissal but don’t bring it up again. You two sit in silence, enjoying each other's company and the atmosphere of the cafe. You steal a few glances at your friend, examining his face as close as you can without staring. Now that you know he chooses sleep deprivation to help with his problems you can’t believe you didn’t notice how tired he actually looks. He’s hid it well these past few weeks, and that makes your heart clench painfully.

You notice he has a tuft of hair sticking up in the back. It honestly looks adorable but you motion to his head so he can fix it.

“Your hair is sticking up weird.”

At the blank confusion on his face you lean forward to try and help him. “Here, just,” you bring your fingers to his grey locks. His hair is smooth and soft, surprising you. You shake your head and focus on fixing the one stubborn bit of hair that refuses to go down.

Once it does, you run your hand through his hair a few times, attempting to capture a relaxed, windswept look. In your motions you glance at Osamu’s face.

He’s watching you, wide-eyed and seemingly frozen to his seat. His expression makes you falter, your hand resting in his hair. Imperceptibly, and if you had to bet without his doing, his head leans into your touch. It’s your turn to freeze but only for a second before you sweep through his hair one last time and retract your hand.

Why did I do that? Your face feels hot as you quickly bring your hand to your tea and take a hasty sip. Why the heck did I just do that? You swallow the tea and gently set it down before chancing a glance at Osamu. He’s looking out the window of the cafe, but you can spot the blush on his cheeks.

It makes you blush even more and you take another sip to try and calm down.

“So,” Osamu finally says. “You said you had a group therapy session yesterday, right?”

You nod, eagerly taking advantage of the change in topic. “Yeah, it’s something that one of my friend’s therapist told him about. We’ve been going for about three months now. It’s specific for people who’ve lost those who were like family, but I know people who’ve lost relatives are welcome.”

“Hm,” Osamu hums in reply. “Well I might look into taggin’ along one day.”

“That’d be great! It’s helped me and my friends talk through our problems with other people, and it’s helped us communicate with each other as well. My own therapist said it was a good idea too. I can’t imagine your therapist wouldn’t say the same.”

At that Osamu scoffs. “I don’t have a therapist.”

You tilt your head. “What? I thought you said something about your therapist when we first met?” You know he certainly did.

“Oh, that was my therapist back home. But he was crazy, he was always trying to push me into havin’ an emotional release. And when I told him to stop he didn’t.” Osamu rolls his eyes. “Plus I didn’t think it was helpin’ me all that much. So I haven’t found one since movin’ to Sendai.”

“Oh.” You really didn’t know how to respond to Osamu’s cynical explanation. You couldn’t fathom the idea of not seeing your therapist and having that professional outlet to help you. Not only did your therapist offer explanations for your feelings and insight, she’s also kind and generous. Your sessions are a safe place where you can grieve properly and feel no shame.

Hearing Osamu speak bluntly about his less than ideal experience with his therapist back home and his now negative opinion on therapy in general doesn’t sit right with you, but you don’t feel comfortable trying to get him to change his mind.

“So how far away is home?” You ask, changing the subject again. You think it's a safer topic but Osamu furrows his eyebrows.

“Hyogo.” He answers shortly.

“Wow, that’s far right?”

He nods. “Sendai U is a good school and I needed a change of scenery.” His replies are clipped and he doesn’t meet your gaze. You sense his uncomfortableness.

“Was it hard moving away? Are you lonely?”

Osamu pauses in bringing his coffee cup to his mouth. He looks over the rim at you appraisingly.

“Nah,” he says. He takes a sip and sets the cup down. WHen he swallows he gives you a friendly smile. “Not so lonely anymore.”

The soft gaze aimed your way sends your heart into overdrive. Another blush threatens to overtake your face and you have to look away.

You don’t miss the satisfied smirk that touches Osaumu’s lips and you feel your blush deepen.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: After that last chapter Y/N NEEDS some tender comfort from Osamu....and it looks like someone is catching some feelings!!! It still seems like there's a bit of mystery around the guy still but it looks like things are progressing nicely for Y/N and Osamu.

I want to mention that opinions about therapy and coping mechanisms in this story are my strictly my own. I am not the leading authority on seeking treatment for any mental health or physical health reasons. In this story Y/N is proponent for seeking help for mental health, but Y/N is not a doctor either. This is a fictional story, and if you are reading this unsure of whether or not you need to seek help, please consult a doctor or someone you trust.

And after that last chapter I threw in some Makki and Mattsun crack because I love them and my petition for them to adopt me is still pending. :/ And we're just gonna ignore Oikawa for now kthxbi.

Thank you so much for reading - I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far!

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU: @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow

[justmypartner]

Still Breathing: Chapter 6

Summary: AU | When a case goes sideways, Hailey wakes up in the hospital with a revelation that leaves her evaluating her life. While she recovers at Med, she meets Jay, an aloof, yet intriguing patient that catches her by surprise. The two get to know one another as they take on the task of rediscovering what it’s like to truly live, and eventually learn their lives intersect in more ways than one.

Writer’s Note: Hi!! Oh man am I excited about this chapter. It’s sweet and flirty, but also pretty angsty, so you’re welcome and I’m sorry? I’ve hit a good spot with writing this story, so I will probably be posting more often. I still can’t promise weekly updates, but I will do my best. Thank you so much for the kind words on this story. It truly means a lot. I hope you enjoy! 

Read on AO3 or below

“Hailey?”

“Hello?”

It wasn’t until a coffee cup was being raised in front of her face that she pulled out of her absent stare. 

“Sorry,” she shook her head, blinking her eyes back into focus. “Thank you,” she said, forcing a smile as she reached out to grab the cup.

Everything had been a blur since that last dance with Jay the night before. When the song ended and she finally worked up the nerve to pull away from him, she desperately tried to swallow down her emotions with the rest of the bottle of wine. Not long after, when she couldn’t get her mind to shut off, she told him she was beat and asked him to drive her home. 

She then spent the rest of the night stuck in that moment in his arms, debating whether or not she was falling in love with him, or the moment. Then, every time she closed her eyes she saw his beautiful emerald eyes and his infectious smile and she knew the question was rhetorical.

She woke the next morning with a text from him asking to meet at what had become their coffee shop. She had the weekend off. She knew he knew that, so she had no real excuse to blow him off. So, she compartmentalized everything that happened the night before and agreed to meet him there.

“You okay? You seem off this morning,” he posited, taking a sip as he eyed her from the opposite end of the table.

There he was reading her like a book, the way only he seemed to be able to do.

“Yeah, no matter how much red wine I have, I always feel it the next morning,” she lied, taking a large swig of her coffee as he nodded, eyeing her carefully as she did so. 

“Sorry,” he offered, the slight pout on his face expressing his empathy.

“Thanks,” she replied quietly.

“So, I actually asked you to meet me because I wanted to run something by you.” 

“Okay…” she said, a resistance in her voice.

“How would you feel about sneaking into a college party with me tonight?”

“Why on Earth would we do that?” she breathed out a laugh with the question.

“I’ve never been. It’s on my list.”

“You’ve never been to a college party before?”

“Nope. I enlisted right out of high school, then my active duty filled the education requirement for the academy. Never even stepped foot on a college campus until I was a cop and needed to for a case,” he said with a shrug.

“You’re not missing much. I only went to maybe one party in my undergrad years, wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Yeah well, my brother spent all of his college years partying. Figured I ought to see what the hype was all about. I was waiting for fall to come around so I could blend in with of all the incoming students, but I only want to go if you agree to come with me.” 

“Fine, but only because it’s on your list… You’re going to have to do something about this look though,” she said, waving a hand in front of her as she gestured to his outfit.

“My look? What about you? You’re the one who dresses like a cop.”

She scoffed, taking one of the sugar packets on the table and flinging it in his direction. He flinched, a sneaky grin on his face as he laughed at his own joke.

“I can still wear my hat, right?” he asked once the laughter died down, a serious look overcoming his face.

“Yeah. I actually think I still have a U of C one you can borrow.”

“Cool.”

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a hat.”

“You don’t want to. The chemo has thinned my hair out so much. I just haven’t had the courage to shave it all off yet.”

A sad look overcame her face, and she quickly adjusted it when she noticed his eyes dart away timidly.

“Actually, I have been wondering since we met, are you a brunette or a red head?” she questioned, trying to divert the mood.

“Oh, that’s a surprise.”

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head at his now intentional pattern of aloofness. 

“One day, I’m going to be the one to surprise you.”

He gave her a disbelieving nod as he brought his cup to his mouth, concealing the smile she knew was breaking out across his lips.

— — — — 

Later that evening when she had just finished clasping the back of her last earring, there was a knock at the door. She made her way downstairs, hurrying to answer it. 

Jay stood on her doorstep in a maroon button up, dark jeans, and his usual ball cap. In the time she’d known him, it was always t-shirts and henleys, so to see him more dressed up had her heart racing in an entirely new way. 

As distracted as she was by his appearance, it didn’t stop her from noticing the way his eyes trailed up and down her body. She wore black jeans, black leather boots, and a silky blue tank that cut a little low. It certainly wasn’t her typical attire, but she knew it was basic enough of a look to blend in with every other college girl at whatever party they wound up at.

“Wow,” he breathed out, his mouth falling slightly agape as he seemed to force his eyes to train on hers. 

“Wow yourself,” she told him, stepping aside so that he could come in. 

Once the door was closed, they stood before one another in her foyer, both still silently gawking at one another for a minute longer.

“So, what do you think? Do I look like I should be at a college party?” he asked after clearing his throat, holding his arms out as he sought her approval. 

She pursed her lips to the side as she eyed him up and down, taking a little more time to do so since he had granted her his permission. 

“I don’t know I feel like it just needs-“

Her eyes fell to the top of his shirt where the top button was secured. She stepped forward, her hands moving to unbutton it and expose a little more of his chest. Her breath became shallow with the proximity. She pulled the collar out a little more once the button was popped. Doing so exposed a gold chain she’d never noticed before, one with a small medallion attached that rested in the contour of his chest. She noticed the way his jaw tightened as her fingers brushed his skin when she picked it up to inspect it further. She rubbed a thumb over it in her hand, an inquisitive look on her face as she did so.

“Do you always wear this? I’ve never noticed it before.” 

“It’s my brother’s. He gave it to me a few weeks ago. It’s St. Luke, the patron saint of doctors and surgeons. My mom gave it to him when he first told her he wanted to be a doctor. He thinks it’ll somehow help me, I’m not so convinced, but it reminds me of her so I wear it,” he explained, only his mouth moving as she still inspected the small medallion in her hand. She smiled, releasing it as she took a step back, folding her arms over her chest. 

“You know, the more I learn about your brother, the more I think I might like him more than you,” she told him smugly.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” he spat, squinting his eyes at her jokingly.

“Are you ready to go?” 

“Yeah, let me go get your hat.”

She momentarily disappeared upstairs, pulling the hat from her closet before descending the stairs once more.

“Here,” she told him. He grabbed it, holding it in his hand as he peered over at her with a look of patience. 

“Right, um let me get my things and we can head out,” she said, turning around to grant him the moment he was silently asking for. When she came back, his hat was swapped out and he wore a shy look on his face.

“Thanks,” he told her, and she knew it wasn’t just gratitude for the hat.

— — — —

Even a block down the street from the house they could hear the music and voices of a hundred or so college kids. It was enough to send shudders down Hailey’s spine, a reminder of why her first college party was also her last. 

“You sure you wanna do this? Can’t we just go get plastered at a bar and call it a night,” she offered, looking up at him in the dim light of the street. 

The look he sent her was one of both amusement and certainty, and she knew his decision on the night’s plans was unwavering. 

“Fine, but you’re my designated driver. The only way I’m getting through this is with booze running through my veins,” she sang.

“I didn’t plan on drinking anyway.”

The comment was enough to stop her in her tracks. She sent him a look, silently questioning the statement as a smirk grew on his face. 

“I mean I’m going to have a beer or something, but I’m not supposed to get hammered or anything. I’ve already got enough chemicals in my body trying to kill me.”

She nodded, and they continued their slow pace towards the house. Another reminder of what seemed like many lately that he was living on numbered days. She just wasn’t sure what that number was. Her face fell, and she focused her attention on each step she was taking, trying to pull herself out of the instant sullen mood she’d fallen into.

“Alcoholic,” he mumbled under his breath, causing her to kick at him playfully with the tease. It was just what she needed to smile again, but not quite enough to keep that reminder from plaguing her thoughts.

Once inside, they were met with the overwhelming smell of beer, musk, and weed. 

“How many of these kids do you think are underage?” he whisper yelled into her ear as they brushed through the crowd blocking the entrance. 

“All of them,” she returned, shaking her head at the thought of a time when she was one of the many carefree kids they were surrounded by. 

They found the drink table. Jay went for a can of cheap beer and Hailey poured herself a couple of shots of tequila. The smitten look and prideful smile he gave as he watched her down the first two were enough to make her do a third. It was going to be a long night with him looking the way he did, let alone with him looking at her like that. She knew she needed to be loosened up to get through it.

By her fourth shot she was in the middle of a crowd of people, her hips doing most of the work as she danced to whatever song was playing through the speakers. Jay opted out, claiming he was much more a slow dancer than a party dancer. 

She’d been alone for a while, a couple of young guys dancing alongside her before getting the cold shoulder and moving on. Even when the guys approached, it didn’t stop Jay’s eyes from keeping a determined stare. She pretended she didn’t notice, but he kept a watchful eye as she swayed to the rhythm of the absurdly loud music.

About an hour had passed. Hailey watched as Jay broke his stare, moving to play a few rounds of beer pong. She laughed when she watched him swap his beer for soda water when the other guys weren’t looking. Not that it mattered considering how good he was at the game. Hailey had kept her eye on him every so often as she danced with various groups of soured sorority girls. 

Eventually, the strands of hair by her face were stuck on with sweat, and she had lost sight of Jay for about 15 minutes. When she finally found him again, he was leaned against a wall, some young college girl standing only inches away from him, hung on his every word. 

She blamed it on the booze, but it sent a heat rising in her. She couldn’t blame the girl, he looked damn good, but she couldn’t help but envy how oblivious the girl was to what it meant to be close to him.  

She watched from the other side of the party, the low light seeming to only shine on the two of them in that large room of people. Her jaw was clenched and she thought about going over and pulling him away, being close to him in a way that had been stuck in her mind since the night before.  

She then watched as he said something that sent the girl running, and a smile came across her face. She made her way over to him, his eyes lighting up when he saw her. 

“You must really know how to sweet talk a girl,” she teased, practically having to scream over the noise. 

“You would know,” he said it in a way that caused her cheeks to become even warmer than they already were. 

“What’d you tell her?”

“She asked if I would go to her um… what’d she call it? Formal or something? She said it was some sorority thing. I told her I couldn’t because I have chemo that day. She thought I was kidding and then, well you saw the rest,” he chuckled, both of them looking over Hailey’s shoulder as the girl found some other guy to mingle with. 

“You look like you’ve had fun,” he told her, instinctively bringing a hand to brush the slightly damp waves out of her face. “Why don’t we go outside for some cool air?” he offered. She nodded, grabbing a bottle of water on her way out.

The backyard was unexpectedly empty. It was a charming little courtyard with a few tiki torches keeping it dimly lit, and a big porch swing hanging from the large tree in the corner. Hailey made her way over, plopping down on the swing less than gracefully as she opened the water, her weak attempt at sobering up a bit.

“What do you think of your first college party?” she asked him as she tried to settle herself onto the swing.

“Overrated,” he said simply.

“Told you,” she returned, swallowing down a large gulp of the water.

“I kinda like seeing you like this,” he told her, laughing at the way her short legs swung back and forth to move the swing. 

“I kinda like seeing you in general,” the words came out before she could fully process, and she squinted her eyes closed tightly, cringing at how forward her boozed up brain was making her.

He leaned against a tree across from her, crossing his arms as he snickered at her words. She laughed too, shaking her head as she took another pull from the water. He brought one of his hands up to readjust his hat as he watched her. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from him. The pop of his collar, the way his eyes were still so vibrant in the low light. He was a sight to be seen, but it seemed like every time she looked at him like that lately, it only reminded her just how short her time with him could be. 

Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through her veins, or maybe it was that thing that the shooting awoke in her, but she felt like she needed to tell him how she felt. No matter how much time they had left. Then her brain dwelled on that. Time. What did his prognosis look like? She’d never asked him. Never had the courage to ask him. But in that moment? Hammered Hailey was just about ready to ask, do, and say anything.  

“How much time do we have left?” she broke after a few moments of being lost in her jumbled, tequila ridden thoughts. 

“If you’re ready we can go if you want. We don’t have to sta-“

“No. I mean how much time do we have left,” she repeated, her eyes glossing over in a way that made the sight before her look like the view through a rain coated window. 

His face was twisted in confusion, then it softened as he realized what she meant, and dropped immediately into a pain inducing look of sorrow. He walked over, grabbing the swing to stop it from moving before falling down next to her. He let out a sigh, bringing an arm to rest on the bench behind her back as she felt him looking over at her. She sniffled, fidgeting with the bottle in her hands before she brought her eyes to meet his. 

“Why now? Why wait until now to want to know that?” he asked, the words coming out benignly. 

“Because I want to tell you something, and if I’m going to tell you, I need to know first.” 

“If I tell you, will the answer change your mind about whatever it is?”

“Maybe,” he kept his eyes on her, somehow knowing she wasn’t being truthful, somehow pulling the truth out of her with one look. “No,” she looked down into her lap, took a breath, and reset their gaze. “I just need to know.”

He took a deep breath, his eyes moving to stare straight ahead as she kept hers on him. 

“I don’t know,” he shook his head, taking a beat before continuing. “If this chemo does what it’s supposed to do, if it shrinks the tumor enough, I have surgery, go a few more rounds of chemo, and I could be in the clear. If it doesn’t? Things only get worse, and… I don’t know exactly how long, but the doctors give me a 30% chance of 5 more years.”

Silence fell upon them. Her gaze pulled away from him. They both looked straight ahead, not even daring to look at one another as Hailey let the news simmer. There was a pain in the back of her throat as she tried to hold back the sadness that plagued her body. It was a heaviness that started in her chest, extended up into her head, and burned the back of her eyes with a pain she hadn’t experienced before. She pinched at her temples with one hand as she kept the tears from streaming down her face. The only sound that surrounded them was the loud bass and indistinct voices coming from inside the house.

“Change your mind?” he finally asked. She could tell he’d turned his head back to face her, but she couldn’t find it in her to look back. 

She shook her head, her stare still avoiding him as she closed her eyes. The tears that had built up spilled out and rolled down her cheeks. She groaned, those tears falling down hopelessly despite her best intentions. 

“Are you going to tell me?” he asked, his voice was hopeful and quiet, and it only broke her heart even more.

She shook her head again, sniffling as she wiped the tears away.

“It’s a surprise,” she eventually told him, her voice raspy. She finally turned to face him, forcing a smile through her hurt as she jumped from the swing.

“Hailey-“ 

“I think I am ready to go home,” she told him, resting a hand on his knee briefly before making her way around the house and out to the street, not even glancing back to see if he was following her.

The ride home was quiet. His eyes kept tied to the road, and hers roamed out the passenger window. The same magnetic like force that seemed to always pull them together was somehow pushing them away in that moment. She finished the rest of her water. It wasn’t enough to sober her up completely, but she wasn’t quite as foggy as she’d been back at the party. 

When he pulled up outside of her place, he told her a short and quiet goodnight as she hopped out. She returned his farewell, flashing him a fake smile as she closed the door and headed up towards her place. 

She walked up to her stoop, trying to focus on her steps to keep from stumbling over. She was still somewhat drunk, but she was also just overwhelmed by the emotions weighing her down. Her brain kept replaying what he said. A 30% chance of 5 more years with him, or an unknown chance of a lifetime. The idea of each scared her for different reasons, but there was only one that seemed impossible to accept.

There was the sound of a door shutting behind her, and she spun around. Her face fell into a frown as she saw him jogging towards her. He got dizzy just from standing, the last thing he needed to be doing was running after her.

“Jay, woah,” she called out, reaching her arms out towards him when he was close enough to touch. 

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” he assured through winded breaths. 

“Did you forget something or-“

“Look, I don’t know what you were going to tell me earlier, but I have something I need to tell you,” he interrupted, his chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to restabilize his breath. 

She looked up at him, a blend of confusion and expectation on her face. His head was tilted toward the ground, and she could just make out his eyes from underneath the brim of his hat. They were glossed over and they avoided hers as he seemed to prepare whatever it was he had to say. 

“I don’t know how much time I have left. That’s my truth, and it’s scary and frustrating, and probably a little unfair, but every time I think about it, all I can think about is how I want to spend every minute of whatever it is with you. It sounds crazy because we haven’t even known each other that long, but… there’s something here. It’s something I’ve known for a few weeks now, but if I’m being honest it’s something I knew somewhere in my mind from the moment I stepped on that damn elevator,” he said it with a sense of urgency and passion that broke her heart in an entirely new way that night. 

That pain of holding back her tears returned as the words cut straight to her heart. Then he reached out and wrapped his hand around her forearm, allowing it to slowly slide down until it was grasping her hand in his. She shuddered at the touch. At the electricity that seemed to jolt through her body with his fingers against her skin. There was a reluctant and almost fearful look on his face as he did so, and she just squeezed his hand back, allowing him to know it was okay. He then grabbed their joined hands with his other, stepping forward as he brought them to rest on his chest.

“Hailey, I need to tell you this, and I hope it doesn’t scare you off I just...” he cut himself off, his eyes falling to the ground once more. He inhaled sharply, bringing his eyes back up to hers and peering into them with the same desperation and fire she carried in hers.

His mouth parted and the words left his mouth as if time had slowed down. It was one sentence, six simple words, but she could have sworn the world stopped spinning when he said them. 

“I’m falling in love with you.”

[ampintherain]

I’m Yours:

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Chapter IV

Y/N is Kenny Ortega’s ‘niece’ after going through a rough breakup, Kenny decides to fly her over to stay with him, will her broken heart mend?

(Female Reader, NO SMUT, Romance, Friendship, THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FANFIC/IMAGINE, I hope it’s good, Kenny is lifelong family friend so reader calls him Uncle Kenny. I’m British so the writing is going to be British so like ‘mum’ not ‘mom’ yanno?)

TW- swearing. mentions of alcohol, drugs & divorce

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Y/N

“Doll, you ready to go?” Kenny asked as he shrugged on his coat, we had been at Tori’s for a good three hours and I could see Kenny was getting tired and we did have a really long day tomorrow, I nodded at my uncle happily before bidding farewell to my new found friends. I found it quite strange as to how quickly they had befriended me and made me feel more than welcome- Charlie especially, I mean throughout the day he asked me if I was alright and he encouraged me to share my ideas with Uncle Kenny, it really was strange.

“See you tomorrow Y/n” Owen chirped, pulling me in for a quick hug, I was soon passed round through the group of friends each of them giving me a tight hug which I gladly reciprocated, I waved everyone a final goodbye before Kenny and I left Tori’s apartment and made our way back to the car.

As Uncle Kenny drove through the streets of Vancouver, I paid most attention to the lights displayed throughout, I watched as birds flew through the sky and listened to the soft sound of the radio, “you okay Y/n?” Uncle Kenny questioned,

“Hm?” I said, as the questioned tore me out of my unknown daydream, I turned to face my uncle Kenny and before he could repeat himself, my brain managed to process what he originally asked “oh oh yeah, I’m fine Uncle Kenny, just sight seeing” I laughed quietly,

“Okay, just making sure, I’m worried about you...” Kenny admitted, I had a feeling that he was but he just didn’t want to draw attention to me and my situation, I have always been very good at hiding my emotions it came from years and years of being told that my emotions and the way I felt weren’t ‘necessary’ and that I shouldn’t feel the way I did- in the end, I decided to no longer tell anyone my problems but deal with them myself, battling through the pain as a lone warrior, I didn’t even tell Kenny what was going on, I built up layers of walls around me to protect myself and make it seem like I was this strong, capable woman. “You’re only 19, Y/n, I know you’re strong but... I just want you to know that I am here should you ever need me” I nodded in response, worried that if I did speak, my voice would give way and I would be revealed as this weak character, I’ve already cried once today and I’m not planning on crying anymore, not in front of Kenny at least.

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Kenny locked the door behind me as we both entered the apartment, “do you want a drink or anything Uncle Kenny?” I questioned as I made my way into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out the carton of orange juice,

“No you’re alright Star, I’m just going to head to bed, I’ll wake you up at 7 alright?” He assured me, I nodded as I sipped at my juice, I looked at the digital clock placed on the side- 12:00am, luckily I had sorted through all of my clothes before going to set and again before going to Tori’s because, quite honestly, I hadn’t the energy to do much at this point, I watched as my uncle wandered into his room, closing the door behind him. I let out a deep breath, the thoughts of a few nights ago coming back into my memory, replaying itself there, why wasn’t I good enough? I did absolutely everything I could for him... I loved him with everything I had... why wasn’t I good enough?

I kept asking myself, it was truly lost on me, I didn’t see myself as this perfect girl, this perfect girlfriend but I knew what I did for him. I was there for him when his dad spiralled, turning to alcoholism and drug abuse, I was there whenever he called, whenever he showed up randomly at my house at 4 in the morning crying and looking for a cuddle, I made sure to visit him mum every Tuesday evening for dinner because Zac wanted to move out once his parents split, deciding to live with his grandparents instead. We were even thinking about moving in together... well him moving in with me as I had already had my own place at 18. That boy was my entire world for 3 years and the fact that he could throw it all away so easily, really hurt me, and I don’t think it was anything that I could understand ever.

The thought alone caused my heart to feel crushed, it felt like Zac had a hold of my heart and whenever I thought about it, he just squeezed my heart as hard as he possibly could, it felt like a gut wrenching type of pain, I wiped away the tears that I didn’t even realise were spilling quickly out of my eyes. I cleared my throat and drank the rest of my juice before making my way to bed, I changed into my grey cable knit sweater and my plaid shorts and clambered into the large double bed, snuggling into the comfort that the bed brought me before I let sleep take over me.

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“Rise and shine” Kenny said quietly into my bedroom, I groaned as I stretched in bed, “morning sleepyhead” he chuckled,

“Morning” I mumbled, scratching the back of my head, Kenny told me that we’d be leaving in 20 minutes, “okay, I’ll see you in 20” I smiled, sliding out of bed and heading into my closet, I grabbed my white tennis skirt, white shirt and dark blue sweater, I paired the outfit with white tennis socks and my white and blue Nike Jordan’s that Uncle Kenny bought me for Christmas. I placed my clothes on my bed and went for a quick shower, this time I dried my hair before chucking it up into a high ponytail, I brushed my teeth and did some light makeup again before changing and grabbing my phone off the side,

“Let’s go” I stated as I made my way over to Kenny,

“You look amazing” he smiled genuinely at me, I thanked him and we made our way back to the set of his new show.

“So... how did you sleep?” Kenny asked me,

“Oh really well thank you, that bed was huge, you could fit like five of me in there” I joked, just as my phone chimed, I looked down at the lit screen to see messages from the one person I didn’t want to hear from.

Zac- Hey, where are you? I came to your place to see you and you weren’t there...

I rolled my eyes and groaned internally before locking my phone and sinking into my seat, “what’s on your mind?” Uncle Kenny asked immediately, I swear it’s like this man lives in my brain. I turned my phone on vibrate just as another text came through,

“It’s nothing Uncle Kenny” I sighed, the man driving next to me simply hummed in response, he definitely didn’t believe me but I knew he wasn’t going to push for answers- he never did, he would always let me come to him if I needed and that was one of the things I loved most about him. I could feel my phone constantly vibrating in my hand whilst Kenny was driving, so I turned it on do not disturb just to try and escape it.

“Alright kiddo, we’ve arrived” Kenny said as he swiftly parked up, I went to unbuckle myself but Kenny stopped me, “you don’t have to tell me right now, but I am here, you know I won’t judge you like your parents” he explained, I sighed and leant over to rest my head on his arm,

“I know Uncle Kenny... it’s Zac, he texted me... I’m ignoring him though” I replied, he sighed and looked down at me, placing a kiss to the top of my head,

“You’re going to have to” Kenny started before I cut him off mid sentence,

“Message him at some point, I know I know” I sat back upright and unbuckled the seat before getting out the car, “come on” I sighed, putting back on my brave face before heading into the lot with Uncle Kenny in tow.

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Charlie

“Y/n!” I heard Sav yell from across the lot, I turned to see Y/n walking towards us, her arms linked with Kenny’s as he was talking and joking with her, I watched as she let out a quick laugh before shaking her head, probably at some corny joke that Kenny told. “We’re matching!” Sav exclaimed as Y/n got closer,

“So we are!” Y/n giggled, “but don’t you have to be in your Carrie costume?” She questioned, pointing at the costume trailer just a way behind us,

“We are rehearsing Wow today in costume” Kenny announced, this prompted Sav to scrunch her face and turn on her heels, grabbing Tori by her upper arm as they both ran to the costume trailer, “those girls” Kenny laughed, shaking his head, “I’m going to get some breakfast, do you want anything Y/n?” The girl shook her head, “you have to eat Star, I’ll get you a croissant okay?”

“If I have to eat, can you get me some blueberry pancakes?” Y/n questioned innocently, smiling up at her ‘uncle.’ Kenny simply nodded and walked over to catering to grab him and Y/n some breakfast. “Hey” Y/n said as she took a step closer to me, I looked down at her and smiled,

“Hey” I mirrored, “sleep well last night?” I asked, the girl nodded and started to walk down the lot, I naturally started to follow her, not wanting the conversation to end,

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever slept in a bed that big before” she giggled, causing my heart to skip a beat slightly, “how about you? Did you sleep well?” She questioned, looking up at me with her beautiful y/e/c eyes.

“Oh yeah, Owen and I left Tori’s a little while after you and Ken left, we grabbed some food and then just crashed as soon as we got home” I said simply, just as I mentioned Owen I saw him come out of his trailer dressed as Alex,

“You, Charles. Have to be in costume” he stated, pointing at me, I rolled my eyes before he shoo’d me away, I nodded slightly at Y/n as a way to say goodbye and she saluted me slightly which caused me to laugh before jogging up to costume.

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Y/N

“Why the long face?” Owen asked me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, “wassup Buttercup?” I bit the inside of my cheek and looked up at the blonde boy,

“It’s my ex” I stated plainly, “he messaged me this morning and I just...” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say, was I ignoring Zac because I hated him, or was I ignoring him because I was worried that if I did text him back, I would fall for him all over again? You can’t get over someone that quickly, no matter how much they hurt you... right?

“Don’t know what to say to him?” Owen answered for me, “what did he say?” He asked, I daren’t look at my phone again because I knew that he had probably texted more so I tried to remember what I saw at quick glance.

“It was something about why I wasn’t home and where I was” I remembered, sitting down on the small couch in the resting tent, my back against the arm rest and my legs tucked up to my chest, Owen sat down, facing me and mirroring my position, “I just don’t see why I have to tell him that anymore... he’s my ex y’know?” I vented, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

“Hey, you shouldn’t let him get to you like that, it’s not cool... look, I’m pretty sure we have a day off tomorrow, why don’t you come over to mine and Charlie’s place and we can watch movies and pig out?” Owen offered, I lifted my head back up and nodded, it didn’t sound like the worst idea, in fact, it sounded like the best thing for me, I mean karaoke last night helped me a lot so maybe just a chilled day would help too?

“Yeah that sounds amazing actually” I smiled.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

“Okay you guys, Sav, Sacha, Tori, Mads and Jay you guys can all go home, thank you so much for your excellence today, you’re all amazing!” Uncle Kenny beamed with pride at his cast that he was dismissing for the day, we had just filmed 3 more scenes for the show and the cast had rehearsals for as many dances they could fit in today, the only thing left on the agenda was the hot dog scene, “now, I will see everyone at the next location? Y/n, you ready?” Kenny asked, I nodded as I felt a shiver run up my spine causing my body to visibly shake,

“Hey” I heard Charlie whisper, “you okay?” He questioned, staying within earshot of me,

“Yeah I’m good, just cold, I forgot a jacket and it was warm today... I kinda forgot how long today was” I laughed, slightly embarrassed about my sieve of a brain, although the presence of Charlie stood behind me seemed to keep me fairly warm, that is, until I felt him leave. I turned to see Owen looking behind him as Charlie darted off, “I’ll be one second” Charlie yelled loud enough for everyone to hear and wait for him.

“Where’s he going?” Jeremy asked, pointing behind him towards where Charlie had just disappeared to,

“I have... no idea” Owen sighed, shrugging his shoulders, “Y/n/n, do you know?” I shook my head,

“He just ran off, maybe he forgot something” I stated, just as Charlie came running back, handing me a brown corduroy jacket with a wool collar,

“Here, it has pockets too so you won’t have to keep holding your phone” he said, only slightly out of breath.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

Y/n gently took the jacket from me, “oh... thanks” she said as a red tint reached her cheeks, she shrugged the jacket on and I couldn’t help but smile at how it looked on her, on me, it fit perfectly but on Y/n, it nearly swamped her, the sleeves hung so low only her fingertips could be seen and the length of the jacket went just above where her skirt ended. She looked adorable.

“Yeah.. yeah anytime” I replied, Y/n placed her phone in her pocket and started to walk towards Kenny,

“Hey, I’ve gotta talk to my Uncle Kenny about some things for the hot dog scene, I had some ideas but I’ll see you on location okay?” She said, not just to me, but to Owen and Jeremy as well, all three of us nodded and joined together so we could all walk out of the lot,

“You like her...” Jeremy stated, Owen nudged him slightly and rolled his eyes,

“I made that observation last night!” He said, “but yeah, you totally like her... it’s obvious”

“I just gave her my jacket, she said she was cold, I would’ve done the same for anybody, like Mads” I defended, “she did look really cute in it though” I admitted, Owen agreed with me which caused me to look at him sceptically,

“Before you get jealous and ask me, no I don’t like her, she’s just a friend” he answered before I even had a chance to ask the question, “oh by the way, she was talking to me about her ex today, something about how he messaged her and she doesn’t know what to say to him, she seemed really down so I invited her to come over tomorrow” Owen explained,

“Oh really? Okay cool” was all I could say, Jeremy soon decided to change the subject to running lines as he could see that I was becoming nervous at the fact that Y/n was coming over, I had no idea why the thought of it had my heart racing and my mind scattered but it did, there was something about Y/n that I couldn’t quite put my finger on but whatever it was drove me crazy about her.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

We had just finished filming the final scene of the day- the hot dog scene and it was the longest scene ever, the amount of re-runs and developments on the scene was enough to drive anybody insane, I groaned slightly as I turned and sat on the seat that one of the crew members brought with them just as Kenny was wrapping the scene up. “Y/n, I’ve just got to do some paperwork and I’ll be right with you okay? I’m sure the boys will keep you company once they change” Kenny announced, to which I simply nodded, not having the energy to say anything or do anything else, I rubbed my eye as I pulled my phone out of Charlie’s jacket pocket, I looked down at the screen and saw the notification, I had 36 unread messages from Zac:

>Zac- hello? Y/n! Where are you?

>Zac- I’m worried about you...

>Zac- Y/n! Would you please just answer me...

>Zac- I went to the coffee shop, you weren’t there either, where have you run off to?

>Zac- look Y/n, I’m really sorry about what I did to you

>Zac- WTF! WHERE ARE YOU?!?

>Zac- you can’t possibly be giving me the silent treatment? Seriously.

>Zac- I didn’t realise you were so childish.

>Zac- I’m glad I cheated on you, you’re worthless

>Zac- wait no, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that I’m just worried about you.

The list went on and on, a mixture of emotions, I kept scrolling through the text screen until I saw the most recent text, delivered 1 minute ago,

>Zac- call me. Please.

I rolled my eyes, I couldn’t call him, I shouldn’t call him right? But alas, like muscle memory, I clicked on the call icon and there was his voice, “Y/n! Hey... how’re you?” All I did was sigh in response, I watched as the boys came out of the venue and into sight, they all waved at me before noticing I was on the phone, Owen and Jeremy dispersed whereas Charlie stayed, walking slowly towards me with a half-smile on his face, clearly worried about whether or not I wanted him to come closer.

“What do you want?” I said bluntly, “I’m not in the mood to hear your pathetic apologies Zac, you’re messages were ridiculous, you went from being apologetic to calling me worthless and saying that you were happy that you cheated on me!”

“Listen Y/n... I can’t explain” Zac began but I was in no mood to hear it,

“No you listen Zac, you don’t get to be sad, you don’t get to cry. You are the one who cheated remember? Or have you suddenly developed amnesia? You went behind my back and had this whole other relationship for 13 months... and on top of that, it was with Quinn! My best friend and you think I’m going to sit here and listen to your silly little apologies, no, you have another thing coming. We were together for 3 years and for a year of that you were with someone else, I was nothing but loyal to you, I was nothing but kind to you, I loved you so much and I thought that you would never hurt me, but I was wrong, you’re just a piece of shit Zac, you and Quinn deserve each other, you’re both snakes, you’re both pathetic and you both betrayed me. I dont want to hear from you again? Do I make myself clear?” I ranted down the phone, I never raised my voice, I kept calm, I wouldn’t let him know that he made me so angry that I wanted to scream and throw my phone into the road, no. I wouldn’t let him have that power over me.

“But Y/n- we’ve been through so much... Quinn doesn’t know me like you do... she’s not there for me like you do” Zac grovelled, I scoffed in response,

“Well isn’t that just a crying shame? You should’ve thought about that before you decided to go behind my back and fuck her, you should’ve thought about it before you decided to be unfaithful. Hey, I’ll make this easy for you, I’ll just block you on everything that way you have no way of contacting me. Goodbye Zac” I said as I abruptly hung up, giving Zac no chance to talk, I blocked his number and started to go through my social media, blocking him on everything that I had.

“Uh... you okay?” I heard a worried voice speak, I looked up to see those eyes that could only belong to Charlie, he tilted his head and looked at me with concern riddled all over his face, I placed my phone on my lap and rubbed my temples to try and reduce to incoming headache.

“Yeah... that was my ex” I stated the absolute obvious, unsure of what else to say, Charlie nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets before taking the seat next to me, he didn’t ask me to go on and explain but I felt like I could talk to him and so I did “you probably heard but he cheated on me, with my best friend”

“Yeah... yeah I did hear, look, Y/n, I know it probably won’t mean much but he really doesn’t deserve you and he isn’t worth your tears” he said calmly, placing his thumb on my cheek and gently brushed away the tears that I had no idea were slowly falling from my eyes, “by the sounds of it, he sounds like a dick and you were way too good for him” I laughed in response, “I’m being serious, Y/n, you’re gorgeous and kind and funny and insanely talented! I know it’s hard but you shouldn’t let a guy like that get to you...”

“Yeah I know... but he and I were together for so long, it just makes me feel like everything was a lie y’know? And like I can’t truly be loved by anyone” I admitted, hearing this Charlie stood up in front of me and held his hands out, “what...?” I questioned, he beckoned me to stand up before pulling me in for a hug,

“You? You can’t truly be loved? Y/n you’re one of the most lovable people I’ve ever met, everyone loves you here... I know that’s not the type of love you meant but trust me on this okay? You can very easily be loved” I pulled out of the hug slightly and Charlie lightly placed his hands on my face, looking deep into my eyes, he smiled slightly to himself causing me to become shy and look down, Charlie used his index finger to lift my head back up by my chin ever so gently, “who wouldn’t want to fall in love with you?”

💜thank you for reading💜

♡︎𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 : @thesweetestsinner , @ifilwtmfc , @ashleyleblancx , @chloepart03 , @obxflowr , @lukeys-giggle ♡︎

[keilemlucent]

lavender latte: vii

(M (for now!)

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

chapter 1   ||   chapter 2  ||   chapter 3   ||  chapter 4   ||   chapter 5   ||  chapter 6   ||  chapter 8  ||

masterlist

word count: ~5.2k

the details

warnings: a little spice (see that M warning!), soft shit & emotional convos

beta’ed: @keiqos 

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wow :’^) through thick and thin, this one got here! thank u to molb for beta reading!!! this is beginning of the second act/final half of the story, a little ~*plot*~ if u will. enjoy 💗

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Being in Hawks’ arms was heaven, you were sure of it.

When he’d said that he’d ‘never done this before’, you, that first night, had confirmation that ‘this’ definitely did not refer to physical intimacy. It couldn’t, not with the way he had touched you. 

His warm, well-trained hands squeezing and pulling you apart perfectly. He read each of your breaths and sighs like they were an in-depth instruction manual that he was meant to study, memorizing the perfect ways to make you cry his name.

...

Hawks was a fast learner.

 “You’re gorgeous, you know that, right?” Hawks said with a kiss to your cheek, lips trailing to your jaw. “You’re fucking beautiful, angel.”

Your thighs hugged around his, your booted foot half-supported by the couch below. Straddling his lap had been a bold move, but neither of you complained, hardly. The shocked look that Hawks had first worn had melted into one of hot-blooded lust.

You drank it all in, him all in, greedily. 

“You’re not bad yourself, you know,” You giggled at the compliments. He’d been laying them on thick as the night wore on, not that you were complaining. “I wasn’t lying earlier, agreeing that you were hot and all. It’s a little distracting.”

“‘Distracting’?” You could hear the raise in Hawks’ brow. “Spill it, dove. How am I ‘distracting’?”

You opened your mouth, ready to give him an entire heap of ego-boosting praise about how fucking hot he was in civilian clothes (and in general), but the words died in your throat as his hands trailed along your hips, dipping just below the hem of your shirt. His touch brushed along your bare skin and the waistband of your bottoms.

You sucked in a shaking breath. 

“Angel,” Hawks’s sing-song voice washed over you as his nimble fingers stroked at your sides and quick teeth nipped at your jaw. “I’m waiting.”

His purposefully mind-snagging moves were all calculated, each brush and touch he gave you turning you gooey over him. 

“U-uh,” You stuttered, Hawks snickered against your skin. You really would’ve loved to give him some sort of lip, but the gentle bites to the fragile skin of your neck made your words turn to smoke in your skull. “I-I mean, right now, w-what you’re doing.”

Hawks being a tease was hardly surprising.

“I’m sorry,” Hawks paused, hot breath tickling your ear. “I couldn’t catch that, angel. How am I distracting you? What am I doing?”

The bastard.

“Y-You’re—” You cut yourself off with a yelp. Hawks had taken to sucking at a bite mark on your neck, laving the bruise with his tongue. Pain pricked deliciously across your skin, and you let your head fall away to bare more for him.

“I’m surprised, you’re usually so good with words.”

You normally were, the banter you and Hawks shared was a testament to that. But with his lips and searing hands grabbing and damn near worshipping whatever they could, you were at a loss for words. You were more than happy to, balling up the back of Keigo’s sweater in your clammy palms. 

 Keigo was in rapture, he was sure of it. 

The sweetness of the earlier moment of the night was still there in each peck and sweet caress. It radiated in each action. 

The tension had simply been allowed to break. 

The goodness was all foreign to him, something he’d never really known. 

Keigo had plenty of sex— good sex, by definition. He wasn’t a slouch in bed, he knew that much. He’d been given glowing reviews time and time again. But, that was all hookups or platonic flings, nothing even close to the stored up desires that were finally able to be expressed.

Your sweet body already trembling over him with just easy touches got him harder and hotter than he’d been in a long time, probably ever. 

It was you, as cliche as it was. The familiar scent of your perfume clouding over him, the little gasps and whines from the back of your throat, even the taste of your quickly salting skin drove Keigo wild. And it was all so intimately close. 

He was suffocating in you and he loved every moment of it.

Keigo had already learned you from his side of the teashop’s counter. He mentally prided himself on recognizing your mannerisms after so many months of conversation and coffee. The little quirks in your movements and words that told their own stories.

The pride, of course, came from being able to use his trained interpersonal skills for something good, something that he knew was good.

With that first kiss, that sweet, sweet first embrace (of many), Keigo could finally indulge in learning about you in a new way.

He wanted to learn what would make you melt. 

Keigo’s wings twitched, sensing how each nip to your jaw made your hips stutter like you were repressing the urge to roll them down onto his lap. 

With each press of his thumbs against your sides, he could feel your breath catch, soft sounds muffled in the back of your throat.

You were perfect.

 “H-Hawks!” His name cracked from your lips as he dragged down the collar of your sweater, sucking a bruise onto your collarbone. 

Hawks chuckled against your neck, hot breath making you hazy in the best way, “This alright?”

“Uh-huh,” You nodded, giving him all the permission in the world to go to town.

Hawks wasn’t too rough with you, just sparks of teeth and nails that made your chest arch into his own. Keigo seemed more than content to have you in his lap, undoing you slowly like it was his divine mission. 

It might as well have been, with his pretty scarlet wings unfurled. You’d never seen them so close, noticing all of the filaments and their depth and colors. 

Throughout you and Hawks’s long, handsy makeout session, his wings (had they always been so massive?) slowly stretched out and open with each gasp and grunt. You’d catch the feathers trembling, shuddering when you ran your hands over the lean muscle of Hawk’s chest, fingers tracing up his ribs. You watched the plumage dance from their roots to the largest feathers when you graced him with the rare grind down onto his straining bulge.

“Can I touch them?” You asked breathlessly, head tilted to allow Hawks all the room in the world to mark up your neck.

He paused, the feathers shuddering in a wave-like pattern. You were mesmerized.

“They’re sensitive, so you have to be gentle.”

You paused, but only for a moment. 

Hawks’ words from earlier echoed in your skull:

“I’ve never done any of this.”

Further questions rattled just behind it.

What does that even mean?

He certainly knew how to turn you into a puddle with confidence, so you could only assume the tabloids had been somewhat right in saying that he was... experienced. 

(You were confident that you were only seeing a glimmer of what he was capable of. The prospect made your breath leave your lips hotter and harder.)

You shoved the thought off in favor of reaching behind him, carefully placing a hand on a downy bone near the root. 

Hawks went rigid with your touch, freezing against your neck. The grip on your hips was nearing bruising, but you didn’t move your hand other than a few gentle strokes from the pads of your fingers.

It had Hawks shaking beneath you. 

“This okay?”

Hawks nodded, taking a big breath, pressing his face into your neck, “Yeah. You won’t break me, I promise.”

You trusted him.

You ran your thumb along the spindly bone. The texture was odd, but not unpleasant, firmness covered by petal-soft feathers. Even if it had been weird to touch, you wouldn’t have minded. 

You couldn’t have, not with the high, sinful moan that croaked from Hawks’s lips.

You smirked, “Does it feel good?”

Hawks’ breath grew more ragged as your grip drifted to the roots. 

It was more than enough of an answer. 

“That seems like a yes— Why don’t you tell me about it? How my hands feel right here...”

You could tease Hawks right back.

Your hold went the tiniest bit tighter, a few of your nails barely grazing him.

 Keigo hadn’t been expecting the touch.  

No one touched his wings. He plucked and preened them himself, using a bit of special oil for them on the rare occasion that he was in the mood for some pampering. His time training with the Commission drilled into his mind that his wings were him, beautiful weapons that required coveting.

So, he surprised himself when he so freely allowed you to touch them.

Then again, he trusted you an almost scary amount for the lack of definition your... relationship now had. 

When your nails went against the grain of the small, soft, feathers at the base of his wings, the moan that ripped from his throat was entirely involuntary. The way his hips bucked up was too.

The way he accidentally sent you tumbling to the ground was very unintentional.

If Keigo hadn’t been caught in the absolute euphoria of his wings being touched by someone good for the first time in his life, he probably would’ve been able to catch you.

But, he was distracted.

 Your back hit the carpet below, uninjured leg bracing your fall while the booted one shot up awkwardly, saving it from any impact. Your head spun despite not being hit, fully jarred from the sudden motion. 

Hawks immediately sat up, sputtering and helping you from the ground. His feathers aided where they could, re-propping your boot and settling you against him. 

“It’s okay, it totally happens, Hawks,” You tried to soothe him. 

“Are you sure? I can get you so ice if you need—”

“Hawks, I’m alright, really, love” The affection slipped out easily as you popped a kiss onto his jaw. “I’m totally okay. Besides, it’s worth it to know how sensitive those wings of yours are.”

“Be careful there, angel,” Hawks’s cheeks lit with blush, smothering face in your hair to hide it, “Using those against me has some... consequences.”

The thought made your insides burn in the best way. 

“Oh yeah?” You raised your eyebrows, thinking of the wonderful possibilities. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’m serious!”

“So am I.”

Any... tension in the room diffused, though not unpleasantly. 

You fell against Hawks, pressing your nose into his arm. Your earlier fears of getting ‘too used’ to him were now very much a reality, an unavoidable one. You had already come to crave the heat of his touch and the baritone of voice. 

You accepted the fact, squeezing him.

It was inevitable, really.

...

You knew it was late, very late, probably early morning. You and Hawks had been all over each other for hours, and as nice as it was, you could feel sleep beginning to pull at the back of your eyes. Despite the exhaustion and quiet aches of the marks across your skin, you didn’t want to stop, not at all.

Admitting you were tired meant that Hawks had to leave and that would mean facing reality. 

As lovely as the evening was, there was plenty swirling that was left unsaid. Things that needed to be addressed, though you both stalled. There were plenty of bits and pieces that wouldn’t be pleasant to talk about, details that could ruin the precious air of the night.

You leaned into him, eyelids sagging against your will. 

“Aww,” Hawks giggled, pulling you closer by the waist, as if you had spoken your insecurities, rather than just thinking about them. “You getting tired, dove?”

You nodded against him, tucking into his side the best you could like it could stop the inevitable. 

“Do you want me to stay?”

The question surprised you. Your guts fluttered at the prospect. 

God, was it an alluring idea.

With obvious implications.

You swallowed.

 It’s all going too fast.

The months of leadup and heat between your thighs didn’t assuage your fears. If anything, it made your fear the deep-end of a night together more. 

“Hey, you’re getting nervous, I can literally see it,” Hawks frowned, tipping up your head. Even the little, casual touches he got to give you made your hearts pound. “I don’t have to.”

“No, it’s like—” You ran a hand down your cheeks. “I want you too, that would be very nice, I’m just a little...”

You struggled to find the words, even feeling your quirk begin to stir. Anxiety prickled like jolts of sour berries across your tongue, burning your eyes and nose. You scrunched your face, shaking your head and willing yourself to relax.

“Overwhelmed?” 

Hawks was right, of course, with his observational skills being so unmatched. He probably even noticed your quirk activating with the widening of your pupils.

“Yeah, you could say that.” you sighed, finding his hand to squeeze it. “It all just feels really fast, you know? I really want to sleep next to you, with you, yet... I don’t even know your real name.”

Hawks went still and tense. 

 Keigo hadn’t really thought about that part. 

Of course, you’d want to know his name. It was only natural, every hero had a civilian name.

Except for him. 

He was Hawks, the hero of Fierce Wings and unrivaled speed. That was him. His name was Hawks.

Keigo had been Hawks for years. His identity was tied to the name, melded to it. They were inseparable. He hadn’t been called anything else in so long, not since he was a shiny new recruit. Any other name had been torn from him, snuffed out and suffocated long ago. 

Every news report and every article, all the calls from friends and colleagues, every scolding he received was always for Hawks.

Never Takami Keigo.

Yet, sitting there on your well-worn couch, surrounded by the warmth of your apartment and your own heat nestled into his side, his given name bobbed to the surface of his psyche.

It lay on the tip of his tongue, Keigo mulling over the personal consequences of telling you his birth name.

This was all different for him anyway, right?

Maybe it would be good to use his name for something good. 

Maybe using his name would be okay.

(Even if it was scary.) 

 “Uh, Hawks? Are you okay?” You asked, rubbing his knee. 

His eyes had gone blank, gazing far-off like you’d never seen before. Hawks even had a nervous bounce in his knee. His body was rigid against yours.

Concern bloomed in your gut. 

“Hey, Hawks,” You tried to get his attention again. “You’re okay. You don’t have to tell me.”

Hawks shook his head, biting his lips and mussing his already sexed-up hair. You bit your lip, refusing to move, not wanting to force any unwanted affections on him. 

A sigh shook from his chest. 

Carefully, he met your worried gaze. 

His eyes, all prettied and honeyed, looked a hell of a lot more-wide and fear-filled then you’d ever seen.

 “It’s Keigo. My name is Takami Keigo.”

You rolled the name around in your skull. Reaching for his hands, you brought them into your own lap.

It wasn’t hard to tell that it wasn’t easy for him to say. 

“That's a really pretty name. Thank you for telling me.” Gently, you rubbed the pads of your thumbs into his palms. The sensation shot up Keigo’s spine, making him sit up a few degrees straighter. “People tend to hold a lot of tension in their hands.”

 Keigo nodded, unusually silent (you got him that way a lot), unsure of what to say, genuinely and truly. His heart was pounding and he was sure you could feel the layer of sweat slicking his palms. 

“You can’t tell anyone my name, (Y/N). Can’t even joke about telling people, okay?”

You squeezed his hands, “Whatever I need to do, I’ve got you, okay, Keigo?”

It was the first time he’d heard his real name in years.

He was incredibly glad that it was from you, assuring him in the same breath. 

...

Vulnerability was terrifying. 

Keigo liked you, irrefutably. A lot. But, all of the nuts and bolts of actually having a relationship (would you two even have that?) seemed daunting. There was plenty to figure out that you had been electing to ignore. 

“There’s a lot I won’t ever be able to tell you,” Keigo forced himself to fess up. He had to lie strategically all the time, but it wasn’t the time to. “Even if I want to.” 

“That’s okay. We’ll both have to be flexible.” You replied quickly, probably not taking enough time to fully mull over the extent of what you’re saying. You slid your hand into his. “Can I be honest too?”

“Of course.” Keigo tugged, urging you back onto his lap. He liked you there the best so far. He could wrap you in his arms so well, satisfying that deep need to keep you safe. 

When you got situated on top of his thighs, you wrapped your arms tentatively around his chest, careful to avoid the base of his wings.

“I’m terrified.” You pressed your face into his chest. “That’s probably why I didn’t say anything for so long.”

 “Oh, dove,” Keigo hugged you tight to him. “You don’t need to be scared of anything. I keep people safe. It’s literally my job.”

“It’s different, though, this kind of stuff,” You replied, voice soft and low. “Aren’t you scared at all?”

Of course he was.

A lot. 

And he had to say so, didn’t he?

Honesty— real, cogent, emotionally mind-bending honesty, felt uncomfortably new on Keigo’s tongue. 

He would have to learn to reflect your own. 

“I’ve never been with anyone before, not like this anyways.” Keigo hated how weak his voice was, nothing like the silken charm he was used to exuding. “So, you could say I’m a little scared.”

“We can go slow,” You easily responded, tilting your face to meet Keigo’s. “I know it’s not normally your thing, but I think we have to.”

“I’ll manage,” Keigo cupped the side of your face, the remnants of tension bleeding from the muscles of his back as he let himself smile (hopefully). “So, you want to?”

“‘Want to’ what?” You asked, tilting your head in his hands. 

Keigo relished the way you leaned into him, letting him bear a bit of your body weight. He accepted the responsibility without hesitation, an idle hand stroking at your hips. 

“I know that functionally, we don’t know a ton about each other, but,” Keigo exhaled, noting how your eyes went soft and a bit glassy. “And I’ve never done this, but like, a relationship. Try it, anyway.”

 You only took a moment to answer, hardly pausing. 

It was a given, wasn’t it? 

With the big, intense feelings that had made their home in your insides long ago and had been given so much time to grow, it only made sense to at least try. Your feelings had roots that ran deeper than just those suited for fucking for sport.

You already cherished each other. 

“Of course, tailfeathers,” You stretched to kiss the stubble on his chin. “I like you a whole lot, you know.”

“I like you plenty too, but really?” Keigo falsely frowned. “‘Tailfeathers’? I thought we were passed that one?”

“I dunno,” You smirked to yourself, curling your free, uninjured leg over his own. “Maybe I could be persuaded to find another bird-adjacent nickname.” 

“Like?”

“Is lovebird too cliche?” You looped your arm around his neck. “Maybe just birdboy, the classic.”

“Hmmm,” Keigo’s squeezed your sides. “Not sure if I’m much of a lovebird, dove.”

“You sure about that?” You flickered your eyes to note that Keigo had you entirely wrapped up in his arms, wings shuddering in time with your own breaths. “I think you might be on your way.

“Maybe,” Keigo huffed, pressing his lips to yours. “Just for you, dove. Just for you.”

You melted into each other, starting the beloved dance all over again, not caring how late the night wore on. You were both certain, silently, that this would not be the last time you’d find yourselves like this. You both could only hope that there would be many more nights spent tangled up in each other, both sweet and spiced.

For now, you, together, settled for the blessed slowness of it all. 

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 Keigo did stay the night. 

You loaned Keigo an old shirt (that you didn’t mind cutting slits in for his wings)  and a pair of sweatpants, even loaning him a toothbrush. Deliberately, you placed it in its own cup, just in case he stayed over again.

(He would.) 

It was a little nerve-wracking, clambering into bed together. 

Your room was decorated and lit the same way the rest of your home was. The same soft, diffused lighting cast your room with a yellow glow. You had taken a brief moment to hastily (but carefully) tuck several plushies on top of a desk in the corner, chatting over your potential embarrassment.

(Truthfully, Keigo thought it was adorable that you had a myriad of stuffed animals that you slept with. It made your bed look a whole lot more... nestlike. It scratched an itch deep in his bird-adjacent brain that he didn’t know he had.)

You two slid beneath the sheets, though you stayed sitting up, fisting the sheets in clenched fingers.

You knew the implications of sleeping together, obviously. 

“H-hey, you know how we said we’d go slow?” You swallowed, glancing down at Keigo.

“Yeah, dove?” He flipped onto his side, peering up at you. 

You fidgeted.

It was a conversation that you hated having. It was always met with disappointment or confusion or both.

“I meant it.” You sighed, relenting and fluffing a hand through his messy hair. Remaining blunt about your reality was always the best option, you’d danced around it enough that night as it was. “The overstimulation part of my quirk makes sex really... hard? I guess.”

You wished there wasn’t so much damn internalized shame shoved into your brain about this particular facet of your quirk. You didn’t give Keigo much of a chance to respond, good or bad. 

“Like, I can, don’t get me wrong, it just gets to be too much really easily, and like, I just need a bit more time—?”

 Nervousness ticked and writhed in your voice as you scrunched the duvet in your hands.

“Hey, (Y/N), It’s alright, I promise.” Keigo shifted, tugging you down into the sheets, facing him.  “Come down here.”

You lowered yourself cautiously, a mix of expressions crossing your face, all of which felt unfamiliar to Keigo.

As much as he teased and embarrassed you at the teashop, you’d never looked genuinely upset. Even when you were struggling to tell him how you felt, just earlier that night, you’d never looked so...

Uncomfortable? 

Keigo saw the crinkle at the corners of your eyes and the scrunch of your nose and quickly corrected himself: 

Guilt.

“We can go slow, as slow as you need. I mean it.”

You laid facing each other, the duvet settling over the two of you. Carefully, Keigo took your hand by the wrist, laying a soft kiss at the joint.

The guarded look in your eyes wasn’t one Keigo was used to.

“Really? You don’t mind?” Your gaze was trained on the sheets below, picking at a loose thread.

“I really, really don’t mind at all. I want you to be comfortable.” Keigo assured you the best he could, heart aching with your nervous glances. “Slow, remember?”

“Slow.” You repeated, finally giving him a bit of eye contact. “You sure? I don’t want to force you to curb your hero’s libido because of my quirk’s bodily side effects.”

“Okay, one,” Keigo huffed, tugging you chest to chest and peppering your face with the kisses he’d always wanted to. “How often do you think I bang?”

You snorted and relaxed visibly, “I mean, I’ve seen the tabloids, so I’m assuming all the time. Like, rabbit-level.”

“God, no, please don’t believe that shit,” Keigo groaned as he threw an arm over your waist. “I am bird-adjacent, as you say, not bunny-adjacent. Then you’re talking about Mirko—”

“Keigo,” You stopped him with a finger on his lips. “I’m not sure if I can handle the details of any of the top-ten’s sex lives, sans yours. Which hopefully includes me.” 

He spoke besides, “You’re telling me you don’t want to know about Wash’s—”

“Keigo—”

“I’m just saying, I have pictures—”

You silenced him, thank god, with a firm kiss you dragged him into by the collar. You made a point to hold him in place even as his wings twitched, nipping at his bottom lip. He licked into your mouth, pulling you forward by your hips. 

You decided to make it a habit to kiss Keigo breathless more often.

...

Keigo traced nonsense shapes and phrases on your sides, you sucking a few bruises well below his collar.

(You both opted that, sex or otherwise, Keigo wearing a shirt was... unnecessary.)

You settled under the covers spooning, your back against his bare chest. 

After everything that had happened that night, all of it, you were exhausted. 

“I have patrol pretty early tomorrow,” Keigo pressed a kiss to the back of your neck. “I’ll let you sleep when I leave, okay?” 

“No, I’ll get up a little too,” You could hear the slur of sleep in your words. “I’ve got a shitty little espresso machine. I’ll make you a drink, to go.”

“You sure? You need all the rest you can get with that leg of yours healing,” Keigo tapped your booted calf with his foot.

“Of course, Kei’,” You can feel sleep tugging you down, Keigo’s heat lulling you. “I miss making you drinks.”

 You didn’t see it— you were already half-asleep by the end of your sentence. But, Keigo hid his biggest smile in your shoulder, wings fluttering in time with the butterflies in his tummy. 

It felt good to sleep next to someone else, especially when it was someone you loved. 

 —

 But, all good things must come to an end, or at least to a momentary pause. 

Keigo was out the door as dawn rose, kissing you hard and long with a travel mug of a coffee in his hand. 

“I threw together what I could, making one of those warm feelings drinks,” You’d said as you pressed the hot tumbler into his hands. “It’s cinnamon, caramel cappuccino, pretty simple compared to what I’d normally make you.”

It didn’t matter, truthfully, you making it meant the world.

Keigo flew from your balcony, flying high physically and mentally. He took the time to stop at home and change into his hero costume. 

It gave him ample time to mull over everything. 

Despite the months of (mutual) pining, a lot had happened in such a short amount of time. 

He was happy, overjoyed, that things were finally out in the open. Getting to be near you and feel you was a luxury he was ecstatic to be able to indulge in. His heart would leap and jump against his sternum if he thought about it too hard or for too long.

That wasn’t to say that there weren’t to be challenges or complications. 

There were, of course, many details that would have to be sorted and straightened.

Hawks was a hero after all.

 His patrol was fairly calm, sunrise didn’t tend to be a time of high crime. 

Though, his sharpened eyes caught the telltale plumes of smoke on the other side of the city not long after he’d launched from his apartment. 

He flew as fast as he could, dodging between buildings and sending his fast feathers in front of him. The closer he got, the more the smell of smoke stung his sinuses. 

When he arrived at the scene, he dove into action.

An apartment burning was burning, nothing new or surprising.

Except, this was a well-groomed highrise, a nicer building in a very nice part of town. 

 It took Keigo a moment or two to realize that he’d seen the building before. He recognized it from the brochures and pamphlets he was occasionally given at heroes sponsorship events. He’d gotten plenty of papers and pitches for buildings like it too. 

...

Jets of orange flames burst through the windows, shattering them down its many stories. The blaze was thick and hot, searing Keigo as he flew around the building.

For this reason, there wasn’t a ton he could do to help, not with how flame and fire. The feathers he managed to send in burned up after only a minute or two. Even if he dulled their sensitivity, the feeling of flame licking the sensitive plumes made him want to shudder and writhe. 

He eventually opted to just help with rescue operations on the ground. He felt somewhat more adept at doing so, following what had happened in the shopping district the tea shop was in. His feathers were far more useful running supplies from place to place than trying to outpace flames. 

There were plenty of heroes around. 

Plenty were local, lesser-known pros. He recognized a few from the charts, top thirties maybe. They were mostly in plainclothes, no costumes or regalia. Some still wore house slippers.

And very few of them appeared to be alone. 

Usually, they stood with at least one other person, maybe a child or two. 

It dawned on Keigo once he saw Edgeshot appear from the rubble, helping a young man walk with a hand around his waist. As Edgeshot walked past Keigo, regarding him with a firm but curt nod, he noticed their twin wedding bands glinting against the mixing light of flames and the early morning. 

Oh.

 Keigo took in the remnants of the burned-out building, recalling its splendor from the ads he had been sent so many times and dismissed.

It was Hero Affiliate housing. 

He’d been given the spiel so many times as a young bachelor, that’d he’d tuned them out long ago. 

It was a trend that had caught on a few years prior, specific luxury buildings made for the family and partners of heroes. Better security, better resistance to disaster and villain attacks(sure), and a community of people who all dealt with the same struggles of being closely attached to a hero.

They were supposed to be safer.

Yet, he was staring at the corpse of the building, burned out and soggy. Around him were soot-covered civilians that should have never been in harm's way. That’s what complexes like this were built for. That was the intent, anyway. 

Yet, there stood reality.

Keigo’s kept the calm, laid-back smile on his face, his veneer up and solid as limestone, unfractured like it too. 

As Keigo aided where he could, his mind was elsewhere.

It was on you, undoubtedly curled up and asleep, safe.

But, could he keep you that way? 

...

He’d have to. 

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ko-fi

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taglist: 

@thepandapopo​ @hawksexual​ @sinclairsamess​ @darcia22​ @inhalingsoysauce​ @yee-fxcking-haw​ @aproperthottie​ @seasalttrioforever​ @msgrungie @mia—merc @a-monster-love @call-me-rhee @peach-buns-unicorns @amethyst-rose-17 @mega-bastard @an-untamed-rose @ravioliplease 

[lyallblacklupin]

Don’t miss the Yule Ball.

Sirius finally opens up to James Potter, and he realizes a lot of things. He has decided he will go the yule ball, but the question is: with whom?

Tags: Post-Incident with Severus Snape, Angst with Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, Trust Issues.

Chapter 3

Sirius kept chewing his first bite for a little longer than he was supposed to, because Remus had left the Great Hall looking apprehensive, and gruesome. He sighed through his breakfast, waiting for the day to get by. He was pushing down all the unnecessary thoughts and emotions because he didn’t want to expect anything from anyone, especially how the last night had turned out.

He had woken up with a better feeling—if he had to be honest with himself—because Remus had finally not just smiled at him but hugged him with genuine earnest and he had held him until Sirius was done crying. The memory was painfully sweet in his head. Nevertheless, he was slightly hopeful than yesterday. Remus had always tried to bring the best out of him. The tug of war in his brain about his friendship and relationship with Remus was easing out in his mind, while also clenching his heart. He took another bite of his porridge, and thought that he should stop worrying about normalcy. He realized that wanting normal with this desperation was going to make him fall in the pits of agitation. He was not able to deal with another heartache. For once, he wanted to give his heart a break.

He gulped down his bite, and he decided he was going to the same with his desires and dreams. He was going to be grateful of the things he had in life; Good friends, miles away from his abusive parents, good education, and especially, his magic. He was himself because he knew how to kindle fire by the swipe of his fingers, he could wave his wand and conjure blue stardust while walking alone in the forest, and he could conjure a patronus to keep the sadness away for a while.

His thinking cycle came to a halt when James and Peter rushed to the hall, and haphazardly began swallowing their breakfast. Sirius was so captured seeing them not uttering a word and gulping down their teas and milk in one breath.

“Merlin, Pads—could have told us—“ James was managing to breathe while munching his toasts, debauching all the manners and etiquettes of eating by spraying the breadcrumbs everywhere on the table.

“Wow, Prongs, you really know how to eat.” Sirius laughed amusingly. Both of the Marauders glared at him. And once they were done, James said that they were already five minutes late for Transfiguration. This time Sirius didn’t think of manners at all, and stumbled out his seat as the three of them raced to the classroom. The air whooshed through them as they pushed through the crowd of students and teachers who shouted things like ‘Hey! Watch it!’ and ‘5 points from Gryffindor!’

The air smelled of nostalgia as Sirius felt the adrenaline in his blood and giddiness in his stomach. The three of them were running like they used to when Filch would catch them and they would hide in the broom cupboards for hours until the course were clear, and then they would laugh like maniacs. It felt all the same to Sirius when they reached the classroom, and he was getting breathless in the most satisfying way. The doors opened, stealing everyone’s attention. Mcgonacall had her usual glare, and Sirius spotted Remus sitting with Lily, his face looked scarlet which made Sirius feel the same heating flush beneath his cheeks and neck.

“Mr Potter, Mr Black and Mr Pettigrew, why is it always you three to be late in my class?” There was something different about Mcgonacall as her gaze is fixed at Sirius. He could swore that there was a hint of smile playing on her lips. She ordered them to take seats, and Peter sat with Mary while James with Sirius. The both of them had to keep hands on their mouths to suppress the bubbling laughter. James gave him a playful nudge, his eyes were whispering something meaningful, and Sirius felt a gush of affection for him.

The day went by with Double Transfiguration with the Slytherins, Charms with Ravenclaws, and Double History of Magic with the Hufflepuffs. James and Sirius were walking to the common room to put their books and notes and then return to the dinner with the rest of Marauders.

“So, Padfoot…” James smirked at him, “I have an unbelievable news to share with you.”

“Have you finally learn not to make a fool of yourself?” Sirius got a harsh fling of James’ arm around his shoulder that he staggered in his pace, almost collapsing on the floor but James held him firmly.

“Hey, hey, hey,” James’ voice was soaked with concern, “You okay? I’m sorry I didn’t know I was that harsh.”

“No, it was not harsh.” Sirius managed to say but the other didn’t seem convinced. He was getting some serious brain-fogs from the past few days, and he hadn’t told anyone yet, not even Madam Pomfrey.

“Then what was that, Sirius? What is going on? Are you not well?” Those were so many questions for Sirius to answer. He didn’t want to disrupt his day which was finally going better for the first time in forever. However with James’ big hazel eyes were staring at him like that as if they were saying hundreds of things to him he felt the urge to tell him everything—by everything meant everything.

And then they didn’t return for dinner, they were in their dorm alone with no interruption. Sirius told him how frequently he had been experiencing panic attacks, and how much tired he felt, like always, how he felt like his bones were feeble, and his muscles were aching, how he was also experiencing constant brain-fogs. And then, he also told him how he was dealing with emotional pain the most, how constantly he was thinking and trying to commit act of self-harm, and how much he was thinking how he had let the Marauders down. James listened him very carefully with full attention, nodded in the right places and shushed him when Sirius talked about how much he missed Remus. He was struggling to get louder because his voice was not cooperating with him. He was gushing out all of the emotions which were buried in the depths of him. He cried at some parts but he was calm because James’ hand was there squeezing his arm, and rubbing his back. When they were done, they fell into comfortable silence, and Sirius felt as light as a feather.

“So what was the good news?” Sirius said to break the silence.

“Uh…” James smiled weakly at him, “I asked Evans to go with to the ball as my date and she said yes.”

Sirius smiled at him genuinely, “I’m happy for you, Prongs.” He hit him with a playful punch but James didn’t respond too much. He looked sad, and it was awkward. Sirius never wanted that. They fell into another round of silence before he felt two arms wrapped from his behind, tugging there. Sirius put his hands on James’, sitting under the cloud of melancholy.

“I’m sorry, Padfoot. You were keeping a lot inside of you. I don’t like when you do that.” Sirius smiled warmly at his mildly aggressive voice, “I am your brother, and you are supposed to tell me that. And all of that. Everything, buddy. I love you, you know that right?”

“There is no reason to be a sap, Potter.” Sirius elbowed him, “But yeah, and I love you, too. Always have and always will.”

“Look, who’s a bigger sap now.”

“Okay, Evans said yes—“ Sirius pulled away to face him, but he was cut off by James in mid-sentence.

“For the ball. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

James didn’t smile. There was still something despondent about him. After a brief silence, he said, “Pads, this may sound a little weird but hear me out…” Sirius nodded, “You should ask Moony for tomorrow.”

“Oh no, no, no, no,”

“Why!?” James whined.

“’Why’? What do you mean ‘why’? Out of all people, you should not be the one to say that.”

“No, Padfoot, I should be the person to say that! You told me how he encouraged to go to the ball. I mean, why would he? Either he is trying to be your mom and asking you to have fun or he is giving signals for you to ask him to be your date for the ball!”

“Considering Remus, he was definitely being a mother-hen.” 

“Think about it, Moony doesn’t easily like someone. He never dated anyone except you because you are the one he fell in love with, you tosser!

That’s when the door swung open, revealing Remus and Peter which confused looks. Sirius felt like his heart was in his throat.

“Thought we’d find you guys here.” Peter said, throwing his satchel on his bed, “Why did you miss dinner?”

“Oh, we completely lost track of time.” Sirius said successfully because the room had started to feel small with Remus’ presence, “We should go to the kitchen, Prongs.” He was hoping he could just skip the anxiety and continue his chance of talking out with James more. He was talking after ages, and it felt lighter and easy. Suddenly, he was very grateful for having James Potter in his life.

“Oh, you know what, you stay here. Wormy and I will bring food for you.” James piped up with his stupid grin, and Sirius began to have second thoughts on being grateful of James.

“What!?” Peter retorted, “But I just came back!”

“And you could come back again, my best friend Wormy!” Sirius scowled at James who in returned gave him a thumbs-up, gesturing to talk to Remus who was putting down his books in on his nightstand. Soon, the whiny Peter and an overly-smart James were out of the dorm, leaving him and Remus alone.

Sirius was fidgeting with his fingers anxiously, gazing at Remus’ back.

“I can feel you staring at me.” Sirius thought he was completely frozen. Remus turned to face him, smiling small at him.

“Yeah…” Sirius let out a breathless chuckle, “I was just…”

Awkward silence.

“Remus, I wanted to ask you something and if you don’t think the same way, I would completely understand.” His heart was hammering in his chest. Remus nodded at him. He took a deep breath and finally the words were out, “Will you go to the ball with me as my date?”

Extremely awkward silence. Remus was opening and closing his mouth to say something but no words were audible enough as an answer to Sirius. That’s because he doesn’t have any answer, Sirius thought to himself.

“Sirius…” Remus finally said, “I can’t.”

It wasn’t like Sirius wasn’t expecting this, but it still hurt him like a dagger shot right into his heart.

“I mean…” Remus continued, scratching the back on his head or pulling his sleeve, “it’s not like I don’t want to, because I do…A lot, actually…”

His voice was turning croaky, and Sirius was able to see that it was not easy for Remus either.

“But, I already have a date.” This time it hurt more than earlier. Sirius wanted to laugh, and he did. Remus froze, looking dumbfounded. It was a strange thing that hurting not always accompany the act of shedding tears. Sirius was actually laughing at himself that he was a fool to believe, like actually believe.

“Of course, of course,” Sirius wiped the tears in the corner of his eyes, “Of course, you have a date. How can you not?” He was shaking his head, still unable to control his laugh. It was a very wrong judgment.

Chapter 1  Chapter 2

Chapter 4 coming soon!